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scurred1

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Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #230 on: August 07, 2006, 07:49:12 PM »
Like many of the women here, Jackie is offended by any suggestion that she is merely a sex tourist and that Andrew is, in effect, a prostitute.

'I see nothing immoral about it. I regard it more as a temporary love affair. He tells me all the things I want to hear, and I guess in return I pay for everything - meals, accommodation, transport, tours - and buy him gifts. But that is because I have much more money than he does. It is mutually beneficial,' she insists.

'When he tells me I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and that he loves my body, I know it might not be absolutely true, but it's nice to hear. The affection, attention, intimacy and compliments are equally, if not more, important to me than the sexual aspect of the relationship.'

Jackie said Andrew raised the money issue the morning after they had first slept together. He told her he could not afford to pay his rent and needed to get his car repaired. She has been sending cash to him every month ever since.

Set on Negril beach, Sugar Mummies explores the pleasures and perils of female sex tourism. Playwright Tanika Gupta, who spent two weeks in Jamaica researching the subject, has focused on a group of British and American women seeking sun, sea, sand and uninhibited sex with good-looking strangers.

During her visit, she identified four types of female sex tourist. The 'Ibiza-type' are young, frisky and just looking for a good time. 'Many of them were sexy, beautiful, young and slim,' says Gupta. 'But because they didn't have that much money, the guys weren't interested.' The second group are in their mid- to late-30s and desperate for a baby, perhaps a cute brown one. She saw many simply looking for love, and finally what she called the 'grandmother-type': white-haired, sixty-something women walking along the beach hand in hand with fit, handsome young men.

'After about five minutes on the beach, I felt like Naomi Campbell,' Gupta says. 'No matter what you look like or what size you are, they have the patter to make you feel as if you are a supermodel. You see women melting in front of these guys and I can completely understand why.'

Although the playwright is not critical of the women who engage in sex tourism, ultimately she found herself increasingly disheartened by what she saw.

'A lot of the women talked about how big the men are and how they can go all night. I was shocked at the way they objectified the black male body. But what I found most depressing was that the whole thing is not real. So many of the women think they have found real love. It's all very delusional. At first I thought it was all about white women exploiting black men. But it's not. It's very mutual. The guys are just as exploitative and you come away thinking this is such a sad, sick world that we live in.'

Steamy, raunchy and often very funny, Sugar Mummies is the first play to explore the issue since Shirley Valentine, which was made into a film. Bellingham plays Maggie, a habitual sex tourist in her 50s. Ultimately she is a broken, tragic woman who says: 'Marriage is a compromise... you have kids, you nurture them, teach them, love them. They grow up and leave you. And then your man leaves you too.' In a disturbing scene, she ties up her 17-year-old would-be lover, Antonio, after he fails to perform for her physically.

The play is tough on the sex tourists, says Gupta. 'But what I hoped to achieve was an exploration of why these women feel so invisible in the West that they feel they have to go and pay for affirmation. It uses humour because there is something highly amusing about the fact that there are fifty-something women who believe these beautiful 18-year-old men have fallen in love with them at first sight.'

Others see such deals as an inevitable function of the global distribution of wealth and even a sign of growing equality between the sexes. Jeannette Belliveau, 51, a former sex tourist who is now happily remarried, has just written a book, Romance on the Road, about the steady stream of lonely women heading from the West to developing countries.

Belliveau became an 'accidental sex pilgrim' after the break-up of her first marriage to a 'difficult, complex Englishman'. In the book she recounts a decade of flings, some lasting one night, others several years long, with men from the Caribbean, Brazil and Greece. She said that she wrote her book partly to counter the negative views put forward by the small number of academics who have studied the subject.

She also wanted to 'normalise' the experience, which she says for many British and American women creates unnecessary feelings of shame, anxiety and secrecy.

'There is the view that these women are guilty of hypocrisy and that they are exploiting poor men. This is nonsense. Sex between two adults that doesn't harm either partner is without question a good thing. I learnt so much from it. It healed me after a painful divorce.

'When I was younger I was so idealistic about sex, thinking it was best allied to love. But I learnt that this is not always the case and I began to realise that the notion of a perfect kindred spirit was for starry-eyed youth.'

She believes female sex tourism is increasing because of shortages of suitable men, the hassles of the dating game back home and due to many professional women living in sexual exile, with fragmented social connections.

'Back home in the West, many strong-minded, feisty women tend to intimidate guys - they focus on their careers and neglect their personal lives - but many black men seem to like and loudly express an appreciation for headstrong, independent, bantering and financially sound women. It does not take a great sex siren in these places to draw men like a magnet.'

She is critical of those who regard it as prostitution or a hangover from slavery. 'It seems to me that these critics are implicitly saying, oddly like members of the National Front, that women shouldn't date or fall in love outside their race, nationality or economic group. Casual travel sex by women, whether they are 20 or 60, is in everybody's best interests. I don't see it as exploitation. I see it as adults having fun.'

It is Friday night and the party is at Alfred's Ocean Palace, a grandly named beach bar in Negril. The sky is black and clear with just a light scattering of stars. In the unlit bar area people sip rum or Red Stripe beer and share joints. A live reggae band is on stage and the sandy dance floor is bustling with dreadlocks and dope smokers. Pale, plump, clumsy women do their best not to look ridiculous next to the raw, natural and explicit moves of the Jamaicans.

Two English women, both in their late 30s, have been coming here two to three times a year since 2002. They have each had several Jamaican lovers. For them, it is harmless fun, but they have seen another side to it.

'Our friend came with us last year and fell head over heels,' says Anna, a nurse from Essex, who is standing arm in arm with Rodney, a good-looking 19-year-old. 'We warned her that the guy was a hustler, but she didn't believe us and said we were just jealous. They slept together, and then he started asking for money. For nearly a year, she sent him cash for rent, for a passport, for everything. When she missed a month, he phoned asking where his money was. When she said she couldn't afford it, he told her she'd have to find herself another beach boy. She was heartbroken.'

Anna goes to the bar and I ask Rodney if he loves her. He smiles. 'I have a lot of special friends,' he says. He pulls out his wallet and shows me photographs of five women. His 'special friends' are from Britain, America and Germany, with two from Canada. I ask who his favourite is and why.

'Connie,' he says with a dreamy-eyed grin, pointing to a white-haired but attractive American woman in her early 50s. 'She's got a lot of money. She pays for me to go to college, and when I'm finished she's going to take me to live in America with her. That is what we all want. To live in America or Britain.'

Guardian Unlimited Guardian Newspapers Limited 2006

A.

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Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #231 on: August 07, 2006, 08:02:27 PM »
Interesting.

faith2005

Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #232 on: August 07, 2006, 08:03:41 PM »
wow that article made me sad... :(

Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #233 on: August 07, 2006, 08:05:07 PM »
Interesting.

interesting but not unknown to me...that lady was buggin though, dude is a prostitute and she's paying him for that ish.  she's in major denial.

A.

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Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #234 on: August 07, 2006, 08:10:51 PM »
Interesting.

interesting but not unknown to me...that lady was buggin though, dude is a prostitute and she's paying him for that ish.  she's in major denial.

Yep, I kinda feel sorry for the ones who don't take it for what it is.  Ah well, live and learn, right?

One Step Ahead

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Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #235 on: August 07, 2006, 09:41:41 PM »
puts How Stella Got her Groove Back in a whole new light  :-\

pikey

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Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #236 on: August 08, 2006, 05:52:44 AM »
It's sad that all these women believe that its a true relationship.  It's one thing to have a vacation fling (though its closer to prostitution), but the women who are sending money back to the men are completely deluding themselves.

Burning Sands, Esq.

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Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #237 on: August 08, 2006, 06:24:48 AM »
ABA: Women of color leaving big firms

By AUDREY McAVOY, Associated Press Writer
Sun Aug 6, 10:42 PM ET

An American Indian attorney is asked where she keeps her tomahawk.
White male partners look past a black lawyer, assuming she is clerical
staff. An Asian attorney is called a "dragon lady" when she asserts
herself.

A study by the American Bar Association that says those real-life
experiences, along with more subtle forms of discrimination, are
prompting growing numbers of minority women to abandon the nation's
biggest law firms.

"We're not even talking about trying to get up through a glass
ceiling; we're trying to stay above ground," said Paulette Brown,
co-chairwoman of the group that produced the study, released Friday
during the bar association's annual convention.

The report, "Visible Invisibility: Women of Color in Law Firms," was
conducted by the bar association with the help of the National Opinion
Research Center at the University of Chicago. Questionnaires were sent
to about 1,300 attorneys, both men and women, and responses came from
72 percent, or 920.

Law firms exclude minority women from golf outings, after-hours drinks
and other networking events, the study says. Partners neglect the
women of color they are supposed to help mentor.

In some cases, partners and senior lawyers disregard minority women
less because of outright bigotry than because they have less in common
with them and thus don't connect well with them, the study found.

Firms routinely hand minority women inferior assignments such as
reviewing documents or writing briefs that provide little
opportunity to meet clients, the study says. That means women of color
aren't able to cultivate business relationships and develop the
"billable hours" that are the basis of career advancement within a
firm.

Among the statistics in the study:

Forty-four percent of women of color said they were denied desirable
assignments, versus 2 percent of white men.

Forty-three percent of women of color said they had limited access
to client development opportunities, compared with 3 percent of white
men.

Nearly two-thirds of women of color said they were excluded from
informal and formal networking opportunities, compared with 4 percent
of white men.

Such discrimination largely goes unchecked at law firms, forcing women
to quit if they want to avoid it, Brown said.

The study cited 2005 data from the National Association of Law
Placement showing 81 percent of minority female associates left their
jobs within five years of being hired. That figure was up from the
late 1990s, when it stood at 75 percent.

Elaine Johnson James, who is black and a partner at the firm Edwards,
Angell, Palmer and Dodge, said she has seen such defections.

She recently called classmates from her Harvard law class in an effort
to find black law partners to speak at an alumni panel. Of the 50 or
so black women in her class and in the classes above and below hers,
James said she found only one other than herself working at a firm.

"Harvard, now; you've got to figure if anybody's going to stick, it
would be us," James said. "It's amazing that we have left the private
practice of law in droves."

Michael Greco, the bar association president, said managing partners
at law firms mostly white men need to dedicate themselves to
reform.

"This is intolerable," Greco said at a news conference. "It stings the
conscience of our profession."


crazy8

Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #238 on: August 08, 2006, 06:29:42 AM »
Wow the observer article is crazy.  Of course this has been going on in Jamaica and other Caribbean islands for a long time, but it's still sad to read especially after my Jamaica Independce Day observance.  Shows how far Jamaica still has to go. :'(


Sands this article was posted already

Burning Sands, Esq.

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Re: Post Your Interesting News Articles Here
« Reply #239 on: August 08, 2006, 07:37:58 AM »
My bad. It would appear that I have been preempted.   :P