Law School Discussion

women taking abuse

Dewitt

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2004, 07:16:03 PM »
and yet others might fill the void by printing out "americas most wanted" on their HP for the sole purpose of posing for an avatar.

they have self-esteem issues...  people deal with their low self-esteem in different ways... where one person may take a brick to the face, another may post 5000 messages to an online discussion board...

another might make themselves feel better by picnicing alone

Ginatio

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2004, 07:16:38 PM »
they have self-esteem issues...  people deal with their low self-esteem in different ways... where one person may take a brick to the face, another may post 5000 messages to an online discussion board...

another might make themselves feel better by picnicing alone

your mother was under the table

thechoson

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #12 on: August 17, 2004, 07:16:49 PM »
you bitches. I swear to God, if every girl I ever want to date reads this site, I am never ever going to get laid

thechoson

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #13 on: August 17, 2004, 07:17:28 PM »
they have self-esteem issues...  people deal with their low self-esteem in different ways... where one person may take a brick to the face, another may post 5000 messages to an online discussion board...

another might make themselves feel better by picnicing alone

your mother was under the table

you were eating alone at a table? that's even more toolish

Ginatio

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #14 on: August 17, 2004, 07:18:38 PM »
they have self-esteem issues...  people deal with their low self-esteem in different ways... where one person may take a brick to the face, another may post 5000 messages to an online discussion board...

another might make themselves feel better by picnicing alone

your mother was under the table

you were eating alone at a table? that's even more toolish

yep. while your mother was under it.

thechoson

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #15 on: August 17, 2004, 07:19:43 PM »
I'd expect better comebacks from a man who has so much time to  spend alone

Ginatio

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #16 on: August 17, 2004, 07:22:07 PM »
I'd expect better comebacks from a man who has so much time to  spend alone

lmao. i know, but i figured i'd stick with the "your mom" theme of the night

jrhc1210

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Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #17 on: August 17, 2004, 08:39:15 PM »
This is a serious topic.

Why is is that some girls take abuse from their boyfriends? Like their bfs will get physical with them, and they'll take it.

Why do they do this?

Since Cho actually meant this seriously (you did, right?) - lemme answer the question. I've seen this a lot, and I swear it's one of the most frustrating things in the world. A lot fo times, like Gin said, it's a self-esteem issue. Other times it's a fear issue. Still other times it's this really screwed up perception of love that you can probably only trace back to some freudian event when she was 2. In any case, as far as I've seen, there's nothing you can do except "be there" for the girl.

inthesun

Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #18 on: August 17, 2004, 08:58:04 PM »
As a female, I would say a lot of it has to do with the male and female role models in your life.  I grew up in a household where my Mom was the one who ruled with an iron fist.  My Dad was far more laid back.  I was never influenced by a scenario where the man was domineering.  I am not saying that it is a woman's fault that she is abused because she allows herself to be domineered.  I do think that I may have a better time trying to avoid a situation like that, as opposed to someone who might not realize there is something wrong with being mistreated by your male-significant other.

egfmba

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Re: women taking abuse
« Reply #19 on: August 17, 2004, 09:13:39 PM »
Serious reply:

I second the low self-esteem and fear rationales, but I'd like to add another thought:  perpetuation.

In one way, women who are abused are perpetuating a cycle of violence they witness while growing up, as inthesun referred to.  Once a girl grows up thinking the 'normal' relationship involves violence and domination, she's statistically likely to continue that pattern of behavior (men, too).

In another way, a woman may perpetuate the violence simply because it's something in her life she can control.  Let me explain before you ask WTF?!  Abused women place so much of their self-identification on the person abusing them that they feel they are nothing w/o that person.  So, to keep that person in their lives (and keep themselves from really becoming nothing), they become experts on what it takes to keep that person satisfied, including what precipitates the violence.

When abused women see violence coming on, they'll do one of two things:  anything to avoid it or something to bring it faster to end the waiting.  Either way, if they're successful, they feel they can 'control' when, how, and under what circumstances they're abused.

Leaving is scary in these types of situations.  Women are just as likely to be killed whether they leave or stay.  It's a crap shoot (is that one word?).  I've known several women in these relationships.  What motivates one to leave won't affect another, so like jrhc1210 said, be there, because when she leaves, she'll need someone to keep her from going back...