Law School Discussion

Poll

Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???

I'm male and want kids
51 (24.8%)
I'm female and want kids
45 (21.8%)
I'm male and DONTwant kids
35 (17%)
I'm female and DONT want kids
50 (24.3%)
unsure
25 (12.1%)

Total Members Voted: 193

Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???

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Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #210 on: February 08, 2007, 07:12:48 AM »
Read b4 you breed...

Born to be bad? Genetic research says maybe
Argumentative parents pass on behavior problems to kids
Updated: 3:15 p.m. ET Feb 7, 2007

If some children seem like they were born to be bad, new research suggests it may be true.

In a study of adult twins and their children, researchers found that genes, rather than parents' own argumentative behavior, seemed key in the children's odds of serious conduct problems — like bullying, skipping school and shoplifting.

The findings, published in the journal Child Development, touch on the classic nature-versus-nurture question.
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In the case of child behavior, research has linked parents' marital conflicts to long-term, serious conduct problems in their children. However, it has been unclear whether that means that marital woes themselves cause the behavioral problems.

The new findings suggest it's more a matter of genes. That is, parents who are naturally argumentative pass on these traits to their kids.

"Marital conflict doesn't appear, in this study, to cause stable patterns of conduct disorder," explained lead study author K. Paige Harden of the University of Virginia in Charlottesville.

"Rather, marital conflict is influenced by parents' own characteristics — including their genes —and these genes are passed on to children," she told Reuters Health.

Harden and her colleagues arrived at their conclusions by studying 1,045 adult twins and their children. Some of the twin pairs were identical, which means they shared all of their genes; the rest were fraternal, meaning they shared only some of their genes.

Such studies allow researchers to tease out the effects of genes and environment on a given behavior.

In this case, Harden's team found that genetic influences were important in parents' marital conflicts, and genes, in turn, explained the link between marital discord and children's conduct problems.

No 'argument' gene
There may be no "argument" gene, but genes do influence personality traits, including those that make people more or less prone to confrontation.


According to Harden, it's possible that genes involved in risk-taking, sensation-seeking and other aspects of antisocial behavior may make parents more likely to clash, and, when passed on to their kids, make conduct problems more likely.

However, the researchers stress, none of this means that fights between parents do no harm to children.

Even if genes are more important in long-term, serious behavioral problems, parents' conflicts do distress their kids, explained Dr. Robert E. Emery, a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia and a co-author on the study.

The study "does not mean that children are unaffected by parents' disputes," he told Reuters Health.

"Think about how you feel when friends, a couple you know, start fighting. Now make them your parents, you're six, and they're screaming about moving out. Parental conflicts definitely are not healthy for children."

ADL

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Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #211 on: February 08, 2007, 07:16:16 AM »
for those of us that dont want kids and there is an "accident", what r ur plans?
are you "choosing" not to have kids...apparently to Highway, it's not a choice, it means that you couldn't find anyone to have kids with.   :D

i do not want them at all, but accidents happen.

and as a guy, i dont even have any real options until the girl tells me what her palns are.
what about a vasectomy?  that's a good option for you.  then you won't have to worry about accidents or the girl's plans.  think about it.  i heard that it's a very safe procedure & the men that i know who have had it done said that it was one of the best decisions they ever made. granted it's only 2 men.
hey blue,  have you looked into to this yet?
it's definitely something to consider.

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Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #212 on: February 08, 2007, 07:20:08 AM »
it is, just havnt had the time yet...

Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #213 on: March 26, 2007, 01:53:54 PM »
No kids here, ever.   ;D My husband just got a vasectomy.  We had to wait until he was 25 which was kind of irritating.  There are serious genetic issues in his family that he had a big chance of passing on to children, so we opted not to have kids but doctor after doctor told him he had to wait until he was 25.  You wouldnt believe the things they say to you either-- well what if you were to divorce (said to me when I asked for an IUD).  I understand them being thorough to protect themselves, however it is far easier to terminate a pregnancy than to prevent it.   ???

Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #214 on: March 26, 2007, 06:04:40 PM »
I originally did not want to have kids. My ex husband was awful with little ones. My current hubby is great with kids and once I saw him interact with them it made me want them. However, I am scared to death of being pregnant (injuries from a bad car accident 4 years ago left me with permanent injuries that will make a pregnancy extra painful), so we adopted a toddler (no poopie diapers or losing sleep with a toddler!) until I can get over the pregnancy fear thing. My husband was 40 (never married/no kids) when we married (I was 25, had been married before, but no kids). He had been practicing law for 11 years when we got hitched. My point is, don't assume you'll feel the same way about it 10 or 15 years from now, and there will be women out there who don't have kids and will be okay with whether you want them or not. I will be honest and say parenting is by far the hardest (emotionally, physically, and financially) thing I have ever done. Parenting is NOT for everyone, and is not always fun. It's hard work.

Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #215 on: March 27, 2007, 10:13:44 AM »
LOL - Has anyone read "Law v. Life"? There's an entire section devoted to how kids in dysfunctional families acquired the right skill set from day one, i.e. how to keep secrets without feeling guilty. I'm pretty sure I learned how to be argumentative from my parents.

And I just scanned the back pages for this thread...omg.


rugercaptain

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Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #216 on: March 28, 2007, 11:35:31 AM »
No little ones for me.  Still have all the parts for reproducing, but never even remotely considered having children.  Dirty little secret...I hate kids.  >:(

Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #217 on: March 29, 2007, 10:57:59 AM »
My boyfriend's parents and mine have both said that if you wait until you're financially ready to have kids, you'll never have them. My mother always added that it's much more important to be emotionally ready for children. I know that's not the case for everyone but it always sounded like solid advice.

The long and the short of it is there's nothing wrong with people who don't want to have children and those who do. The argument I hear the most from people who don't want kids, aka Kid Haters, is that some people with children tend to make a misbehaving child everyone's problem. You're sitting in a restaurant and someone's kid from the next table crawls under yours, for example. The parent sees the kid and says nothing but whoa to you if you have the audacity to speak to their child and tell them to get out from under your table. If I'm at Disney World, I'm not expecting it to be a child-free zone. It's for kids, for Chrissakes. I get a kick out of watching little ones run up and give Goofy a hug. But if I'm at a movie theater and someone's kid starts screaming, there's no reason why everyone has to deal with it.

And I don't think that makes me a kid hater. I like children and plan to someday have a few of my own.

rugercaptain

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Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #218 on: March 29, 2007, 06:14:25 PM »
Embrace the hatred

Thank you, I think I will.   ;)

I believe my loathing of children comes from my father--he didn't seem very fond of me or my sister.  He even told me (many times) that children weren't worth a damn until they could get a job and move out of the house.   :-\

As a rookie firefighter, the worst part of my job was giving fire station tours to the kids.  Gawd, I HATED it.  Today I just hide in my office when the brats come through the place during October.  At least as a battalion chief I can order others to give the kiddie tours.   :D  

At least I had enough sense not to have any and poison them with my hatred.  Unfortunately, there are breeders out there who have children they don't really want and treat them like crap.  

jillibean

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Re: Anyone planning on NEVER having kids???
« Reply #219 on: March 29, 2007, 06:17:12 PM »
I plan on having 3-4 kids and then adopting one all by the time I'm 32. I can do it