Law School Discussion

Law Students => Current Law Students => Topic started by: jd2b06 on January 22, 2006, 11:10:59 PM

Title: CLASSMATES...
Post by: jd2b06 on January 22, 2006, 11:10:59 PM
Ok this is the deal... I'm serious about law school... really serious... and possibly too serious.  The thing is I'm not antisocial but I really can't stand superficial people that goof around and inadvertently drag me down with them.  Concentration wise and grade wise.  See, I don't want to be a jerk and overall I do want to be "liked" within my class because it makes law school a little more bearable knowing that if you miss a class the person sitting next to you won't give you the wrong notes on the wrong topic.  But I just don't know how to draw the line between wanting to be friendly and cordial to you but not wanting to be your best friend and confidante... without hurting your feelings.  For instance it sucks when you're friendly to everyone in class... they like you and you like them.  But then there comes the all-encompassing "what'cha doin Friday night" that I will have to say no to... which without me wanting it to... begins to burn bridges.  As we all know us law students are a sensitive bunch  ;) 

I'm not a nerd and I don't study 24/7 but I find deep personal friendships and "cliques" during law school, are especially taxing and take away from what you should be doing.  So how can I stay friendly with everyone without having to be a huge part of your life and without looking like a total jerk?

What should I do?  Anyone else feel my pain? 
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: unlvsin on January 23, 2006, 12:54:08 AM
I must say your views on "friendship" and law school is a bit harsh.  I would recommend you continue to be cordial to your classmates... say "hi" when you pass with the occasional "how you doing?"  You seem to take law school and your law career VERY seriously, which is a good thing.  However, think of going out with your classmates as a networking mechanism for your law career.  It's not going to kill you to go out with them once every few fridays or saturdays.  You should still have PLENTY of time to study (if not you are doing something very wrong), and keep a good relationship with your classmates AND in possibly, further your future law career (You honestly never know who will end up where in life and when you may need a favor). 

Basically, LOOSEN UP.  A large part of law school is time management and you should definitely be able to juggle going out with your classmates ONE NIGHT of the week every few weeks and still keep up with your studying/reading. 

Good luck
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: T. Durden on January 23, 2006, 05:38:36 AM
"I really can't stand superficial people" ]

nothing more superficial than a gunner who surrounds himself with psuedo relationships to fool himself into thinking that he is liked

don't be a hypocrite - choose one path of the other - stop with this equivocation nonsense, you look like an idiot
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: jd2b06 on January 23, 2006, 06:42:41 AM
"I really can't stand superficial people" ]

nothing more superficial than a gunner who surrounds himself with psuedo relationships to fool himself into thinking that he is liked

don't be a hypocrite - choose one path of the other - stop with this equivocation nonsense, you look like an idiot

I also have a family life that adds to the difficulty of being able to just go out and get together with individuals on a whim.  Certainly is more difficult than for someone like you.  At any rate, I think you are missing the point.  But to each their own.     
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: qaz123 on January 23, 2006, 10:11:47 AM
take the giant casebook out of your ass and relax.  the idea that being a 1L means having no life outside of the library is a giant load of bull.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: Villus on January 23, 2006, 09:41:14 PM
Ok this is the deal... I'm serious about law school... really serious... and possibly too serious.  The thing is I'm not antisocial but I really can't stand superficial people that goof around and inadvertently drag me down with them.  Concentration wise and grade wise.  See, I don't want to be a jerk and overall I do want to be "liked" within my class because it makes law school a little more bearable knowing that if you miss a class the person sitting next to you won't give you the wrong notes on the wrong topic.  But I just don't know how to draw the line between wanting to be friendly and cordial to you but not wanting to be your best friend and confidante... without hurting your feelings.  For instance it sucks when you're friendly to everyone in class... they like you and you like them.  But then there comes the all-encompassing "what'cha doin Friday night" that I will have to say no to... which without me wanting it to... begins to burn bridges.  As we all know us law students are a sensitive bunch  ;) 

I'm not a nerd and I don't study 24/7 but I find deep personal friendships and "cliques" during law school, are especially taxing and take away from what you should be doing.  So how can I stay friendly with everyone without having to be a huge part of your life and without looking like a total jerk?

What should I do?  Anyone else feel my pain? 
Don't listen to the retards above, I know exactly what you're talking about. My 1L class is split up into several groups that take classes together, and i've found that if i make friends with people outside of my group, it helps to cut down on the awkwardness. I don't see them in class, and I can always call them up if I need to go out and blow off some steam.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: jacy85 on January 24, 2006, 04:16:13 AM
See, the difference between you and the OP, Villus, is that you have "friends" and will occasionally go out and hang out with them.  The OP seems to feel that being that superficial person who has no interest in their classmates whatsoever is health/helpful in the long run, not realizing that he's exactly the sort of person he seems to despise.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: Jumboshrimps on January 24, 2006, 05:56:50 AM
I must say your views on "friendship" and law school is a bit harsh.  I would recommend you continue to be cordial to your classmates... say "hi" when you pass with the occasional "how you doing?"  You seem to take law school and your law career VERY seriously, which is a good thing.  However, think of going out with your classmates as a networking mechanism for your law career.  It's not going to kill you to go out with them once every few fridays or saturdays.  You should still have PLENTY of time to study (if not you are doing something very wrong), and keep a good relationship with your classmates AND in possibly, further your future law career (You honestly never know who will end up where in life and when you may need a favor). 

Basically, LOOSEN UP.  A large part of law school is time management and you should definitely be able to juggle going out with your classmates ONE NIGHT of the week every few weeks and still keep up with your studying/reading. 

Good luck

Jumboshrimps, concurring...

I concur with my bretheren above. This concludes my concurring opinion.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: tacojohn on January 24, 2006, 06:06:31 AM
You mentioned you had a family life (I'm assuming spouse and/or kids), so I take it you're non-traditional, or at least are not fresh out of undergrad.  If so, find people in the same boat.  Find those who take themselves seriously.  Find a study group with people you might enjoy being around.

I have to agree with everyone though that your attitude about friendships in law school is borderline awful.  You see friends as a competitive advantage, and readily admit you don't want a best friend or confidante.  If you mean you don't want to be friends with a lot of people in the law school, that's fine, I feel the same way.  But that's why cliques aren't all bad.  I found people who I enjoy being around, who I find approach the experience similar to me, and who respect me.  By the way, many superficial people are just superficial on the surface.  Try getting to know someone and maybe you'll realize it's not that bad.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: jd2b06 on January 24, 2006, 11:03:13 AM
Ok this is the deal... I'm serious about law school... really serious... and possibly too serious.  The thing is I'm not antisocial but I really can't stand superficial people that goof around and inadvertently drag me down with them.  Concentration wise and grade wise.  See, I don't want to be a jerk and overall I do want to be "liked" within my class because it makes law school a little more bearable knowing that if you miss a class the person sitting next to you won't give you the wrong notes on the wrong topic.  But I just don't know how to draw the line between wanting to be friendly and cordial to you but not wanting to be your best friend and confidante... without hurting your feelings.  For instance it sucks when you're friendly to everyone in class... they like you and you like them.  But then there comes the all-encompassing "what'cha doin Friday night" that I will have to say no to... which without me wanting it to... begins to burn bridges.  As we all know us law students are a sensitive bunch  ;) 

I'm not a nerd and I don't study 24/7 but I find deep personal friendships and "cliques" during law school, are especially taxing and take away from what you should be doing.  So how can I stay friendly with everyone without having to be a huge part of your life and without looking like a total jerk?

What should I do?  Anyone else feel my pain? 
Don't listen to the retards above, I know exactly what you're talking about. My 1L class is split up into several groups that take classes together, and i've found that if i make friends with people outside of my group, it helps to cut down on the awkwardness. I don't see them in class, and I can always call them up if I need to go out and blow off some steam.

Oh well that's a good suggestion, thanks. 
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: Villus on January 24, 2006, 11:51:56 AM
You mentioned you had a family life (I'm assuming spouse and/or kids), so I take it you're non-traditional, or at least are not fresh out of undergrad.  If so, find people in the same boat.  Find those who take themselves seriously.  Find a study group with people you might enjoy being around.

I have to agree with everyone though that your attitude about friendships in law school is borderline awful.  You see friends as a competitive advantage, and readily admit you don't want a best friend or confidante.  If you mean you don't want to be friends with a lot of people in the law school, that's fine, I feel the same way.  But that's why cliques aren't all bad.  I found people who I enjoy being around, who I find approach the experience similar to me, and who respect me.  By the way, many superficial people are just superficial on the surface.  Try getting to know someone and maybe you'll realize it's not that bad.

I agree about the cliques thing, but while you are trying to find the "right" people to be around, it's hard to get rid of the "wrong" ones that you have met and been friendly with. That's where the awkwardness comes from because it's hard to start avoiding people who i've previously been hanging out with. And for me, if people are superficial on the surface, that pretty much does it for me. I don't think you should have to search deep down inside a person to find good things about them.

Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: lincolnsgrandson on January 24, 2006, 12:33:23 PM
either loosen up, change your attitude, or just stop caring about your classmates altogether.  But retaining your superior attitude will just make you feel like more of a shmuck when you don't finish near the top of your class.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: buck on January 24, 2006, 03:48:08 PM
And for me, if people are superficial on the surface, that pretty much does it for me. I don't think you should have to search deep down inside a person to find good things about them.


[/quote]

um...
su·per·fi·cial

ADJECTIVE:

1.  Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2.  Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3.  Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4.  Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: zaphod on January 24, 2006, 04:34:32 PM
But then there comes the all-encompassing "what'cha doin Friday night" that I will have to say no to... which without me wanting it to... begins to burn bridges.

Don't worry, it sounds like it won't take long before no one is asking you to do anything with them.  Seriously, the poster who talked about networking is dead on.  If that's the view you need to take in order to lighten up, do it. 
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: Villus on January 25, 2006, 11:22:03 PM
And for me, if people are superficial on the surface, that pretty much does it for me. I don't think you should have to search deep down inside a person to find good things about them.



um...
su·per·fi·cial

ADJECTIVE:

1.  Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2.  Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3.  Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4.  Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.
[/quote]
Thanks for clearing that up Buckie.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: giraffe205 on January 26, 2006, 11:45:05 PM
I'm sure that when they invite you, your spouse is also invited. If you have a child, perhaps you can find a baby-sitter. If it's the kind of event where kids can come, then bring them!

To be honest, though, if the shoe were on the other foot. I would find your "superficial" hellos to be a disguised middle finger. True friends don't just say hello when passing each other. They hang out and talk in the lunch room, they gripe about profs and reading assignment after class, etc. Ppl say hello to me all of the time but I know who my real friends are and several of those ppl aren't included.
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: T. Durden on January 27, 2006, 12:05:10 AM
time for a new avatar giraffe

we demand more skin
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: jd2b06 on January 27, 2006, 05:58:10 AM
I'm sure that when they invite you, your spouse is also invited. If you have a child, perhaps you can find a baby-sitter. If it's the kind of event where kids can come, then bring them!

To be honest, though, if the shoe were on the other foot. I would find your "superficial" hellos to be a disguised middle finger. True friends don't just say hello when passing each other. They hang out and talk in the lunch room, they gripe about profs and reading assignment after class, etc. Ppl say hello to me all of the time but I know who my real friends are and several of those ppl aren't included.

Hey Giraffe,

I guess I didn't see it that way and definitely didn't know that my "hellos" could potentially be seen by my classmates as an upraised middle finger.  I definitely don't dislike them... I suppose people would feel a bit rejected by my behavior.  Thanks for bringing that to my attention.  I suppose one social function now and again couldn't hurt.  :)   
Title: Re: CLASSMATES...
Post by: lincolnsgrandson on January 27, 2006, 06:04:20 AM
You may not hate them - but you do feel superior to them.