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Author Topic: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS  (Read 3563 times)

ohhayitskk

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Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« on: January 07, 2008, 06:56:15 PM »
this is slightly different from all the other threads around about significant others...so..

my boyfriend and i have been seeing each other for about a year now, which, by the time we've entered our respective post-graduate programs, will have been about a year and a half. we're both very ambitious and focused on our own individual goals. i'm obviously applying to law school, and he's applying to phd programs at some really great schools. the problem is, our school choices don't overlap very much. he loves berkeley; i'm interested in the east coast. he does have a good deal of interest in east coast schools too, but he's into princeton more than any other east coast school. i'm a boston girl. he does like harvard, and i think he would give serious thought to going there, especially if things are still working out between us, but neither of us (and rightly so, i think) is willing to sacrafice our educational goals just to be near the other. this is not to say we're unwilling to talk about it and compromise to a degree, but if he just flat out can't get what he wants at harvard, it's not going to happen.

he seems to believe that distance, no matter how extreme, is going to be a factor we can overcome. i disagree. realistically, i can't imagine being comfortable with making our relationship more casual to accomodate for the long stretches of time between seeing each other. nor do i feel i can commit six years to waiting for him to come back from across the freaking country. certain distance might be doable, perhaps boston and new york or maybe jersey, but i'm also nervous (or fairly sure) that our workloads will just make all of this impossibly difficult.

lest i sound too cynical, i am posting about this because i really don't want to lose someone who is this important to me. i don't believe in promising someone forever at this age, but he is absolutely someone who i care about deeply and who i really do love. i guess i'm sort of searching for stories about people who are making their relationships work while in law school, and how that has panned out, because i need some sort of counterpoint to my logical mind, which says that him being far enough away from a certain location is sort of a death sentence for the relationship. thanks.
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UFBoldAsLove

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2008, 06:58:09 PM »
Tag.
Vandy 1L... really?

RokoMotion

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2008, 07:00:33 PM »
I know this post is very simple, but it is intentionally so.

I always believed life (and relationships) are what we make of them.  If you can't handle the distance, you shouldn't be together in the first place. 

Just my honest opinion.

botbot

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2008, 07:48:58 PM »
The SO and I are both in the same law school.  Our relationship was a pretty large factor in the school choice we made.

We would have broken up before trying the long distance thing - mostly because a long distance relationship combined with law school is a futile proposition.  Neither of us want to be in a relationship where we see each other once every 4-6 months.  There is absolutely no way I could handle this.  And even if you can deal with little visitation, law school is not fun.  You will be in a bad mood pretty often - and rarely will you want to chat it up on the phone. 

(this post ignores the obvious fact that you two would inevitably cheat on each other during this long distance relationship)

goaliechica

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2008, 08:22:57 PM »
::raises hand::

I think my relationship was one of the things that kept me sane during my first semester, but we're not long-distance (or not very - just a bay between us).

I found long-distance very burdensome when I tried it, but I was kind of young and dumb then (or even more so than I am now).
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flyaway

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2008, 08:27:41 PM »
This probably isn't that helpful, because we are a little older and have been together longer, but law school hasn't affected my relationship with my husband at all.  I'm SO thankful I have him... it's great to have someone there to support you, and I'm so glad not to be dealing with dating drama.
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etmerian

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2008, 12:33:53 PM »

(this post ignores the obvious fact that you two would inevitably cheat on each other during this long distance relationship)

Whooooooa.  If that is an obvious and inevitable fact, then you definitely don't belong together.  My fiance and I were long-distance for 2 years and we really never even had a conversation about it.  We took it on a day-by-day basis and if one day it had stopped working for us it would've ended.  If you care that deeply about him, just let life take its course.  If you end up somewhat close, great.  If you don't and it doesn't work out, then oh well.  Yea it's a super uncomfortable situation...but I think the best way to approach it is to let it work itself out. 

botbot

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2008, 01:11:10 PM »

(this post ignores the obvious fact that you two would inevitably cheat on each other during this long distance relationship)

Whooooooa.  If that is an obvious and inevitable fact, then you definitely don't belong together.  My fiance and I were long-distance for 2 years and we really never even had a conversation about it.  We took it on a day-by-day basis and if one day it had stopped working for us it would've ended.  If you care that deeply about him, just let life take its course.  If you end up somewhat close, great.  If you don't and it doesn't work out, then oh well.  Yea it's a super uncomfortable situation...but I think the best way to approach it is to let it work itself out. 

He cheated on you.   ;) ;)

Bananas, Melonas, Yeah

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2008, 03:48:55 PM »
He cheated on you.   ;) ;)

haha you're heartless

kirkcameronsgf

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2008, 11:13:04 PM »
I'm in a long-distance relationship right now.  You just have to be willing to carve out some time to see each other and make time for each other.  It sucks, but it can be done.