this is slightly different from all the other threads around about significant others...so..
my boyfriend and i have been seeing each other for about a year now, which, by the time we've entered our respective post-graduate programs, will have been about a year and a half. we're both very ambitious and focused on our own individual goals. i'm obviously applying to law school, and he's applying to phd programs at some really great schools. the problem is, our school choices don't overlap very much. he loves berkeley; i'm interested in the east coast. he does have a good deal of interest in east coast schools too, but he's into princeton more than any other east coast school. i'm a boston girl. he does like harvard, and i think he would give serious thought to going there, especially if things are still working out between us, but neither of us (and rightly so, i think) is willing to sacrafice our educational goals just to be near the other. this is not to say we're unwilling to talk about it and compromise to a degree, but if he just flat out can't get what he wants at harvard, it's not going to happen.
he seems to believe that distance, no matter how extreme, is going to be a factor we can overcome. i disagree. realistically, i can't imagine being comfortable with making our relationship more casual to accomodate for the long stretches of time between seeing each other. nor do i feel i can commit six years to waiting for him to come back from across the freaking country. certain distance might be doable, perhaps boston and new york or maybe jersey, but i'm also nervous (or fairly sure) that our workloads will just make all of this impossibly difficult.
lest i sound too cynical, i am posting about this because i really don't want to lose someone who is this important to me. i don't believe in promising someone forever at this age, but he is absolutely someone who i care about deeply and who i really do love. i guess i'm sort of searching for stories about people who are making their relationships work while in law school, and how that has panned out, because i need some sort of counterpoint to my logical mind, which says that him being far enough away from a certain location is sort of a death sentence for the relationship. thanks.