Law School Discussion

Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS

Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #20 on: February 01, 2008, 05:11:09 PM »
I don't think law school relationships are hard, but long distance relationships in general require a very large amount of time.  It's VERY hard to go from a close relationship to a long distance relationship + decreased amount of free time.  It leads to suspicions, jealousy, neglect, doubts, etc.  I think that it's absolutely doable though.  But in my experience, it helps if you're experienced with long distance relationships.  I had the advantage of starting off as a long distance relationship then moving in together for law school, and that worked like a dream.  Law school relationships are a piece of cake compared to long distance ones... that's for sure.

pikey

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #21 on: February 09, 2008, 12:20:31 PM »
My SO will be together 5 years this month (yay!).  Almost 3 of those years will have been long distance.  We started dating in ug, then lived in different countries for 2 years after graduation, and now are about 8 hours away from each other at different grad schools.  Neither of us had really had ld experience, other than summers in ug.  It's hard, but in many ways not as difficult as we thought.  When I was applying to law schools, he encouraged me to go to the school that was best for me, even if it wasn't necessarily best for us.

I actually think that long distance relationships require a lot less time.  He came to stay with me for two months last semester and I found it a lot harder to balance relationship, school, studying, friends, etc that I do when we're in different locations.  It's harder for me to want to study when he's sitting across the room.  I've also found that our relationship hasn't lead to suspicion, jealousy, neglect, etc.  We're both committed to being together, talk to each other all the time, etc.  I think it helps if you really know each other before you start long distance (we'd been together for 2 years)  and are confident in yourselves and your relationship, as opposed to a more recent relationship where you're still unsure of each other.

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #22 on: February 09, 2008, 12:44:19 PM »
My SO will be together 5 years this month (yay!).  Almost 3 of those years will have been long distance.  We started dating in ug, then lived in different countries for 2 years after graduation, and now are about 8 hours away from each other at different grad schools.  Neither of us had really had ld experience, other than summers in ug.  It's hard, but in many ways not as difficult as we thought.  When I was applying to law schools, he encouraged me to go to the school that was best for me, even if it wasn't necessarily best for us.

I actually think that long distance relationships require a lot less time.  He came to stay with me for two months last semester and I found it a lot harder to balance relationship, school, studying, friends, etc that I do when we're in different locations.  It's harder for me to want to study when he's sitting across the room.  I've also found that our relationship hasn't lead to suspicion, jealousy, neglect, etc.  We're both committed to being together, talk to each other all the time, etc.  I think it helps if you really know each other before you start long distance (we'd been together for 2 years)  and are confident in yourselves and your relationship, as opposed to a more recent relationship where you're still unsure of each other.


And again, it depends on who you are.  If you're not inclined to look to things as long-term as this, then you'll probably have greater troubles.

pikey

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #23 on: February 09, 2008, 12:58:13 PM »
My SO will be together 5 years this month (yay!).  Almost 3 of those years will have been long distance.  We started dating in ug, then lived in different countries for 2 years after graduation, and now are about 8 hours away from each other at different grad schools.  Neither of us had really had ld experience, other than summers in ug.  It's hard, but in many ways not as difficult as we thought.  When I was applying to law schools, he encouraged me to go to the school that was best for me, even if it wasn't necessarily best for us.

I actually think that long distance relationships require a lot less time.  He came to stay with me for two months last semester and I found it a lot harder to balance relationship, school, studying, friends, etc that I do when we're in different locations.  It's harder for me to want to study when he's sitting across the room.  I've also found that our relationship hasn't lead to suspicion, jealousy, neglect, etc.  We're both committed to being together, talk to each other all the time, etc.  I think it helps if you really know each other before you start long distance (we'd been together for 2 years)  and are confident in yourselves and your relationship, as opposed to a more recent relationship where you're still unsure of each other.


And again, it depends on who you are.  If you're not inclined to look to things as long-term as this, then you'll probably have greater troubles.


Yeah, I'm definitely not saying it works for everyone.  Just trying to bring a different perspective, since sometimes it seems like these threads just say "you're gonna cheat" or "if you're not willing to compromise/make your relationship a priority/etc you're doomed" (as if being in the same place is the only way to compromise or make it a priority).  I'm not gonna lie, in many ways LD sucks, but it's definitely doable.

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Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2008, 03:10:08 PM »
My SO and I are in a LDR. I just accept the fact that she is getting pounded by a new frat boy every night.

Re: Relationships that actually WORKED (or are working) in LS
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2008, 08:39:50 PM »
My fiance and are are doing pretty much exactly what you're contemplating.  I'm a 1L at HLS, he lives in Berkeley (he's working at a start up company though).  It's difficult, but it's worked for us so far.  I don't find we have a lot of fights or problems because of the distance, though it was very hard to get used to in other ways (we've been together for 5.5 years; went to high school together, college, and lived together for 3 years before I started law school). I don't find it takes away time from my schedule either -- we do strange things like set up our webcams so he can watch me while I read or do other work, and we'll talk online while I'm in class or during downtime in the day (because seriously, no one does work all day. You can spare at least an hour).  It certainly doesn't require more time than a local relationship would -- you just have to be more diligent about making sure you're talking to each other and open about how you're feeling.

It helps that he's really busy too, so he doesn't feel like I'm neglecting him.  It also helps that we visit each other a lot (on the down side though, it isn't cheap, but whatever.  A couple thousand a year is worth it.). We also look it as a non-permanent situation.  It's a short, temporary disruption; in the grand scheme of things, 8 months (minus breaks) for 3 years isn't *that* long.

There are several others in my class doing the long distance thing, and it's working out for many of them as well.  If you want it to work, it can.  But I think you have to want it, and you both have to trust each other in order for it to.