Significant Others Affecting Your Decision?

[Tetris]

Yeah right. I'm going to school wherever is best for me and, if things are working out w/ my SO and I, she can choose to go with me or to stay. If I thought I had found my soulmate I might be a little more lenient... but I'm pretty skeptical about soul mates and such so right now I'm just cold.

[stewie griffin]

Thank Jebus for this thread.  My boyfriend of two years and I are both applying to school right now: I to law school, and he to design school (for his master's in landscape architecture).  We live in Philly now, and we're both dead-set on staying in or close to the Northeast, which is good.  However, he's only applying to three schools - UVA, Penn, and Harvard, which are not exactly easy to get into, for either of us.  I may have the numbers for the first two, but I seriously doubt Harvard will be within my reach.  To try to at least minimize the potential distance, I'm applying to a range of schools from Boston to Charlottesville (BC, BU, Fordham, NYU maybe, Penn, Temple, GULC, GW, and UVA are on the list right now).

But it's tough.  The application process for design schools is as qualitative as the law school app process is quantitative, so it's extremely difficult to say what will happen for him.  On the other hand, things will become pretty clear for me once the December LSAT scores are released.  Is anyone else in this boat (or a similar vessel)?

[EatYourVeggies]

Tetris,
If you're at the "she can choose to go with me or to stay" stage, then please don't let her go with you.  Making a commitment like that should require an element of risk/compromise for both parties, and the couple should balance both people's interests. 

If you're not even willing to apply to schools betting on a future together or to make a school selection with her in mind, I hope you'd end it rather than make yourselves miserable your entire 1L year. 

[mchllhcm]

I'm applying next cycle, but when I do end up going to law school, my SO and I will have been together 6+ years. We've always been in CA so if I go to an east coast school, he's hesitant to come along. The question comes up, "what would I do?" and "how can I afford to go?" This may just be a lack of creativity on his part, but does anyone have any advice on convincing a SO that it would be worth it to come? I'm still thinking of staying in school for CA since I ultimately want to go back, but if I get into amazing schools, I don't think I should let the opportunity go if it's on the East Coast.

[neverborn]

She mentioned that she wouldn't come to Michigan with me. 

I realize that every relationship is different and to each their own.  However, if living in a big city was more important to my SO that living with me, I'd take that as a sign.  Particularly if it was only for ~1.5 years and would help secure our financial future.  I can understand being hesitant but to straight away say "I'm not coming" is odd to me.

I didn't say this to bag on my g/f, I hope she'll consider it if I decide to go to Michigan (read: get a Darrow)... it wasn't definite...

[gollymolly]

My bf and i were engaged but when i decided to apply for law school and we realized it would coincide with him finding his first job right out of school, we decided not to factor each other into the decision making process.If we're meant to be together, we'll still be together in three years and we'll both be better off for having made the best possible career choice.

I know that won't work for everyone but I'm pretty happy with it.

[EatYourVeggies]

That sounds more like you both decided that you weren't meant to be together right now... which makes me pretty skeptical that you'll be meant to be together in 3 years.  I think you guys made the right decision. (If you guys both feel comfortable calling off the engagement, then you definitely shouldn't' be getting married.)

The whole "if we're meant to be together"/let fate decide is a romantic notion, but people often change independently, get lonely, and meet new people.  Three years is a long time, and when you're out of law school, you'll be looking for your first job so the your career-his career will once again be butting heads.

It's pretty unlikely that a first job and law schools wouldn't be able to mix to find the best possible balance.  Jobs galore in Boston, D.C. and schools all up and down the US News Rankings are present in those cities.  Married people often have to strike that balance or, at the least, take turns with whose career comes first. 

I don't mean to suggest that everyone should stay with their significant other during law school (and in this thread I urged Tetris not to take his SO) but the formerly-engaged couple most probably does not offer a successful model for staying together through law school.

[ohhayitskk]

my so and i are going through the same thing. we've been together for about a year, and i'm applying to law school and he's applying to grad school. problem is, he loves uc berkeley, but i'm pretty set on staying on the east coast. the only west coast school i'm even considering is university of washington. he's also applying to harvard, columbia, penn and princeton, so it's not totally a loss, and he thinks he could be happy at harvard, etc (and i'm applying to several boston and new york schools), but when it comes down to it i wonder what will happen if he gets into berkeley and really has his heart set on it. i hate to say it, but if he's going across the country for school, this just isn't going to happen. i would never begrudge him  that opportunity, but there's no way i'm doing cross country long distance while i'm in law school.

so i feel your pain friend. sigh.

Thank Jebus for this thread.  My boyfriend of two years and I are both applying to school right now: I to law school, and he to design school (for his master's in landscape architecture).  We live in Philly now, and we're both dead-set on staying in or close to the Northeast, which is good.  However, he's only applying to three schools - UVA, Penn, and Harvard, which are not exactly easy to get into, for either of us.  I may have the numbers for the first two, but I seriously doubt Harvard will be within my reach.  To try to at least minimize the potential distance, I'm applying to a range of schools from Boston to Charlottesville (BC, BU, Fordham, NYU maybe, Penn, Temple, GULC, GW, and UVA are on the list right now).

But it's tough.  The application process for design schools is as qualitative as the law school app process is quantitative, so it's extremely difficult to say what will happen for him.  On the other hand, things will become pretty clear for me once the December LSAT scores are released.  Is anyone else in this boat (or a similar vessel)?

[lineallowsfor]

I was planning on staying in the Philly area and living with my boyfriend of 3 years, but we'll see how it pans out.  It is better for me to go to a great school and have to move away for a little bit.  My top 2 are Temple and Rutgers, so here's hoping.  The BF is very for me going to be best school.

[Hannibal]

I made a compromise with my wife:  if she lets us go to HYS, then she can choose where we work after graduation.  At that point she will have followed me around enough; I'll go wherever she wants.