Significant Others: Stay Together or Breakup?

[Tetris]

stay together, break up, or get married.

Very insightful.

[TraciRai]

1) You will be meeting A LOT of smart/driven/ambitious women at school

Sounds like a recipe for divorce and a vicious financial man-raping and castration about 8 years after graduating from law school together. I'll pass.

So you'd prefer stupid/listless/passive women instead? What are men so scared of?

Agreed. There is nothing sexier than an intelligent woman. Plus the intelligent women always seem to look better when they're older. I'd only consider an average or below average intelligence woman if she was very attractive and good in the sack.

Intelligent women ARE sexy but I wouldn't marry one. I don't go for the lazy and shiftless types either but the super braniac ones tend to have TOO much of an ego/ball-crushing ambition. You've got to find some balance.

There's a thin line between having an intelligent streak and possibly turning into a flaming man-hating, wallet-raping, independent streaks. I'd rather not take my chances...I've seen way too many otherwise happy marriages devolve into this kind of sad state for no apparent reason. Modern marriage is a loaded dice that men lose more often than they win...sad but true reality. Sure, we'd all love the ideal, but we've gotta be realistic here.

Um, not to go poking any holes in your logic... but stupid women can be "flaming, man-hating, and wallet-raping" too.  That has nothing to do with intelligence, though maybe an intelligent woman has a tendency to become that because she sees through male bull faster?  I don't know...

[siski]

1) You will be meeting A LOT of smart/driven/ambitious women at school

Sounds like a recipe for divorce and a vicious financial man-raping and castration about 8 years after graduating from law school together. I'll pass.

So you'd prefer stupid/listless/passive women instead? What are men so scared of?

Agreed. There is nothing sexier than an intelligent woman. Plus the intelligent women always seem to look better when they're older. I'd only consider an average or below average intelligence woman if she was very attractive and good in the sack.

Intelligent women ARE sexy but I wouldn't marry one. I don't go for the lazy and shiftless types either but the super braniac ones tend to have TOO much of an ego/ball-crushing ambition. You've got to find some balance.

There's a thin line between having an intelligent streak and possibly turning into a flaming man-hating, wallet-raping, independent streaks. I'd rather not take my chances...I've seen way too many otherwise happy marriages devolve into this kind of sad state for no apparent reason. Modern marriage is a loaded dice that men lose more often than they win...sad but true reality. Sure, we'd all love the ideal, but we've gotta be realistic here.

Um, not to go poking any holes in your logic... but stupid women can be "flaming, man-hating, and wallet-raping" too.  That has nothing to do with intelligence, though maybe an intelligent woman has a tendency to become that because she sees through male bull faster?  I don't know...

Hear, hear!

And don't apologize for poking holes in his logic. It was already swiss cheese to begin with.

[neverborn]

In fact, the man hating wallet burning woman is more likely to be the stupid one!

[Butters Stotch]

I left for law school in August of '07, and my s/o of four years and I broke up before October.  Between the distance, the demanding schedule and the fact that we pretty much hated each other anyway it was a no brainer.

Good luck!   

[Tesoro418]

There's nothing wrong with a little man-hating every now and then, is all I'm saying.

And marriage seems to be a dying institution for way more deep and multi-edged reasons than due to independent, what was it...ball crushing ambitious? women.

I know that wasn't what you were saying/implying, but just wanting to state for that for the record

[ari20dal7]

The divorce issue has nothing to do with ambition or intelligence, but with prudence.  A good marriage makes your life better.  A bad marriage and divorce means you're done (as a man).  You lose everything that you worked for and, potentially, a lot of what you will earn in the future.  Honestly, if she can see herself without you, you probably shouldn't marry her.  You're just rolling the dice with incredibly high stakes.

Now, I'm not going to be attracted in any meaningful way to the girl who is dependent enough that she'll never leave.  Which means that I've decided that marriage just isn't a good buy for me.  To quote a classic musical: "she wants to trade your independence for her security."  The vast majority of women might have good intentions, but I just don't think I can take the enormous risk involved in a marriage when I can have a pretty decent life on my own.

[siski]

Prenups are sexy.

Keep separate bank accounts.

Don't always assume that the man will be financially better-off and the woman will be a gold-digger. Just look at Britney & K-Fed.

[NewGirl2007]

I haven't read most of this thread, so I'm just replying to the OP. And in all honesty, it depends on the relationship. If you're already dysfunctional, having problems, or not serious (as it sounds in the OP), then break up. OTOH, if it's a great relationship, you click really well, then it would be really illogical TO breakup just because you're in school or long distance. ALL relationships will have problems and tough times. What a great way to find out if you can weather it!

As an older student, I know from personal experience how really tough it can be to find someone you mesh with and to find a "real" loving relationship. If you have it, by all means, don't throw it away. You'll regret it later.

This is also coming from a girl who was dumped by her boyfriend doctor when he got a fancy residency at an Ivy League school. I do wish I had known how "non" serious he was, so I wouldn't have spent so much $$ flying to see him, buying him cool electronic gadgets as gifts, etc. etc.

Oh no, I'm not bitter. ;-)

[nikos13]

Tag.