Law School Discussion

Reached a plateau on my PS -- SOMEONE PLEASE READ!! : )

Reached a plateau on my PS -- SOMEONE PLEASE READ!! : )
« on: October 26, 2007, 11:36:30 AM »
i sat down to write my PS and knew what i wanted to write about.  it's honestly a rather sad topic but i wanted to portray a more inspiring/life-altering side of it.  It's about how my best friend passed away in a car accident 4 days into my freshman yr in college (im now a senior) and how we had a slight falling out for many months before. the night before i went to college he reached out to settle things with me but it was like 11:00 pm and i was leaving for school at like 5 am the next day.  we spoke on the phone for 5 mins when he had to go do something and he said he'd call me back in a couple minutes and never did.  next thing i know he died and nothing was settled. it did teach me a lot of lessons about life and how to approach relationships/friendships with people and how it made me grow as a person, etc...there's a lot more to the story besides what i just briefly summarized but that's the jist. 

the problem i'm seeing with my PS at this most basic stage is that i want it to be more of a portrayal of how i was changed by this traumatic event then it is just me telling a story of what happened.  it was difficult to write bc of emotions and stuff and when i keep re-reading it i can't figure of what is insignificant enough to omit.  i also dont want it to be a sob story, i DO want it to evoke emotion in the reader but i dont want it to be obnoxiously tear-jerking. 

anyways, i would REALLY appreciate someone reading this and giving me their opinion on how to re-organize it in some way to make it more of a learning essay then a story-time essay.   thanks so so much.

p.s i can most definitely read someone's essay as well.

Re: Reached a plateau on my PS -- SOMEONE PLEASE READ!! : )
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2007, 06:58:30 PM »
i sat down to write my PS and knew what i wanted to write about.  it's honestly a rather sad topic but i wanted to portray a more inspiring/life-altering side of it.  It's about how my best friend passed away in a car accident 4 days into my freshman yr in college (im now a senior) and how we had a slight falling out for many months before. the night before i went to college he reached out to settle things with me but it was like 11:00 pm and i was leaving for school at like 5 am the next day.  we spoke on the phone for 5 mins when he had to go do something and he said he'd call me back in a couple minutes and never did.  next thing i know he died and nothing was settled. it did teach me a lot of lessons about life and how to approach relationships/friendships with people and how it made me grow as a person, etc...there's a lot more to the story besides what i just briefly summarized but that's the jist. 

the problem i'm seeing with my PS at this most basic stage is that i want it to be more of a portrayal of how i was changed by this traumatic event then it is just me telling a story of what happened.  it was difficult to write bc of emotions and stuff and when i keep re-reading it i can't figure of what is insignificant enough to omit.  i also dont want it to be a sob story, i DO want it to evoke emotion in the reader but i dont want it to be obnoxiously tear-jerking. 

anyways, i would REALLY appreciate someone reading this and giving me their opinion on how to re-organize it in some way to make it more of a learning essay then a story-time essay.   thanks so so much.

p.s i can most definitely read someone's essay as well.

PM me it.  I'll give you my thoughts, but you'll want a better writer to read over it as well.

I am a little bit concerned about what you described, though.  Imo, a PS should not be merely about how you grew, but how you grew into a person that is going to make a capable attorney.  Others might disagree.