I think this is a funny thread. Here is a recommendation inspired by my home state of Wisconsin and the upcoming deer hunting season.
Dear Fordham Law School,
As a long time hunting partner of Offmason I feel I am in a unique position to unequivocally recommend him to your institution. Offmason's unprecedented ability to drink copious amounts of Pabst Blue Ribbon and still have the logical wherewithal to distinguish between deer and fellow hunters in bright orange vests is truly impressive. The compassion that Offmason shows when putting a wounded animal out of its misery with his Bowie knife will serve him well in law school and beyond. Fordham Law School would be lucky to have the unique skill set that Offmason offers. I can think of no better place for Offmason to use his stalking, marksmanship, and field dressing (ie gutting the animal) abilities than at Fordham Law School, in the middle of New York City. Please take this letter into consideration deciding on Offmason's application.
Roger Kryschinzki, long time drinking and hunting buddy.
I once saw Offmason chase down a a cute fawn, tackle it, and tear its jugular out with his teeth. Truly, he is a man to be reckoned with.