Dear Rick Lax,
Thank you for applying to The __________ Law School. Of the thousands who apply each year, we can only select a few hundred. Let’s just say you’re not one of them. However, your college transcript, LSAT score, and personal essay gave the Admissions Committee the laugh we needed to lighten the painstaking process of sorting through the real applicants. For that, we thank you.
But you should have seen our faces when we saw your junior year grades. We were like, “Whoa! Whaaa ha ha! Tee hee hee hee! Hee hee hee heeeeee!” Good times.
To return the favor, we considered sending you a plain white postcard with “NO” stamped on it in red capital letters, but decided it would be funnier to send you your rejection in one of our acceptance envelopes. That way, when you saw it you’d think you got in, only to feel sudden, crushing disappointment and then cry like the feebleminded baby you are.
We hate you,
The __________ Law School