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Author Topic: BLACK LOVE  (Read 17538 times)

ohstacey

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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #50 on: July 25, 2007, 09:25:15 PM »
Yep, we can agree to disagree, it's cool. ;)

But, whether its bitterness or apathy, I still don't see the reason for jumping to a conclusion about a brotha- not referring to anyone in particular, I mean what makes people think they know what is driving a person toward a certain "type?" That's my thing.

And what exactly is wrong with categorizing? I think we should try to find out where people are coming from when they do that, rather than just assuming that we know the reason, ya know?
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Funia

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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #51 on: July 25, 2007, 09:59:59 PM »
Can I get the cliff notes version please?

naturallybeyoutiful

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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #52 on: July 25, 2007, 11:23:40 PM »
Can I get the cliff notes version please?

Girl, don't even bother.  There is absolutely no sense in trying to follow the arguments of someone promoting self-hate and insecurity under the guise of "black love."  ::)  Lord knows it's time for black people to be free!!!
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lawschoolboundlady

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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #53 on: July 25, 2007, 11:29:06 PM »
I don't think skin color should be a deciding factor in any relationship, but from speaking with people of many cultures it seems for some reason lighter skin tends to gets praised across the board. I had a couple indian friends that spoke of skin bleach etc.. Not sure why it permeates like it does. Some say it has to do with a historical aspect of darker people being poorer because they worked in fields/etc out in the sun and developed darker skin? I don't know how much merit that argument has though. I just think it's crazy how much this issue affects so many people and their feelings of self worth.

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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #54 on: July 26, 2007, 07:35:54 AM »
Can I get the cliff notes version please?

Girl, don't even bother.  There is absolutely no sense in trying to follow the arguments of someone promoting self-hate and insecurity under the guise of "black love."  ::)  Lord knows it's time for black people to be free!!!

I dont get it.  If a light person prefers darker sisters is that self hate, too? insecurity?  or does historical context play a role in this assesment?  I mean, its always kind of ticked me off when I say I think Beyonce or Halle is fine and I get accused of liking European standards of beauty (not saying thats happened here but its happened)..Arent mixed people or light people black too?  isnt that just embracing another aspect of blackness?  lets face it, we come in all complexions. 

I'm pretty light, but I dont think a dark skinned girl should have to justify being attracted to me.  "Oh you like them pretty boys curly hair bla bla" Thats B.S..  I dont know, this is a really slippery slope.  Part of freedom is having the freedom to choose.  choose what?  what makes you happy, being able to pursue your preferences.  and skin color is a tangible and highly visible thing, to me it's only natural that one would have a preference as to what they are initially attracted to (and the intensity of that attraction).  I also like girls with slightly bowed legs.  I mean the only time I see this as a problem is if it becomes self destructive, or you end up harming others.  like if I disrespected knock kneed women, or screwed around with bow legged women to my detriment.  I also realize society views these things differently, so its probably not such a great analogy.  But personally, I dont want society factored into my decision as to who I want as a mate, unless it's unconciously as thats inevitable     
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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #55 on: July 26, 2007, 08:14:25 AM »
the point: to eliminate a group of men or women on the sole basis that they are dark or light skinned is crazy..

no one said that a person has to "justify" why someone is dating someone that is of lighter or darker skin than they are--- that is just silly but for a person to see a person that has every other quality that they desire in a mate - and to say "i'll pass because u're dark" or "i'll pass because you're light" is very problematic...

Can I get the cliff notes version please?

Girl, don't even bother.  There is absolutely no sense in trying to follow the arguments of someone promoting self-hate and insecurity under the guise of "black love."  ::)  Lord knows it's time for black people to be free!!!

I dont get it.  If a light person prefers darker sisters is that self hate, too? insecurity?  or does historical context play a role in this assesment?  I mean, its always kind of ticked me off when I say I think Beyonce or Halle is fine and I get accused of liking European standards of beauty (not saying thats happened here but its happened)..Arent mixed people or light people black too?  isnt that just embracing another aspect of blackness?  lets face it, we come in all complexions. 

I'm pretty light, but I dont think a dark skinned girl should have to justify being attracted to me.  "Oh you like them pretty boys curly hair bla bla" Thats B.S..  I dont know, this is a really slippery slope.  Part of freedom is having the freedom to choose.  choose what?  what makes you happy, being able to pursue your preferences.  and skin color is a tangible and highly visible thing, to me it's only natural that one would have a preference as to what they are initially attracted to (and the intensity of that attraction).  I also like girls with slightly bowed legs.  I mean the only time I see this as a problem is if it becomes self destructive, or you end up harming others.  like if I disrespected knock kneed women, or screwed around with bow legged women to my detriment.  I also realize society views these things differently, so its probably not such a great analogy.  But personally, I dont want society factored into my decision as to who I want as a mate, unless it's unconciously as thats inevitable     
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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #56 on: July 26, 2007, 09:45:11 AM »

Exactly. I mean, we all have prferences, but why deny someone based soley on skin tone. Tjats what main man said in the beginning and thats where i took offense. I thought it to be some type of self hate going on there




the point: to eliminate a group of men or women on the sole basis that they are dark or light skinned is crazy..

no one said that a person has to "justify" why someone is dating someone that is of lighter or darker skin than they are--- that is just silly but for a person to see a person that has every other quality that they desire in a mate - and to say "i'll pass because u're dark" or "i'll pass because you're light" is very problematic...

Can I get the cliff notes version please?

Girl, don't even bother.  There is absolutely no sense in trying to follow the arguments of someone promoting self-hate and insecurity under the guise of "black love."  ::)  Lord knows it's time for black people to be free!!!

I dont get it.  If a light person prefers darker sisters is that self hate, too? insecurity?  or does historical context play a role in this assesment?  I mean, its always kind of ticked me off when I say I think Beyonce or Halle is fine and I get accused of liking European standards of beauty (not saying thats happened here but its happened)..Arent mixed people or light people black too?  isnt that just embracing another aspect of blackness?  lets face it, we come in all complexions. 

I'm pretty light, but I dont think a dark skinned girl should have to justify being attracted to me.  "Oh you like them pretty boys curly hair bla bla" Thats B.S..  I dont know, this is a really slippery slope.  Part of freedom is having the freedom to choose.  choose what?  what makes you happy, being able to pursue your preferences.  and skin color is a tangible and highly visible thing, to me it's only natural that one would have a preference as to what they are initially attracted to (and the intensity of that attraction).  I also like girls with slightly bowed legs.  I mean the only time I see this as a problem is if it becomes self destructive, or you end up harming others.  like if I disrespected knock kneed women, or screwed around with bow legged women to my detriment.  I also realize society views these things differently, so its probably not such a great analogy.  But personally, I dont want society factored into my decision as to who I want as a mate, unless it's unconciously as thats inevitable     

2Lacoste

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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #57 on: July 26, 2007, 09:51:05 AM »
This is why I avoid all this drama by dating a woman the exact same color as me.  We Puerto Ricans are all yellow.   :D  (This after dating a dark-skinned Black girl and a White girl -- avoid the drama and color coordinate who you date!).
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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #58 on: July 26, 2007, 10:19:10 AM »
This is why I avoid all this drama by dating a woman the exact same color as me.  We Puerto Ricans are all yellow.   :D  (This after dating a dark-skinned Black girl and a White girl -- avoid the drama and color coordinate who you date!).

 :D  :D  :D

Nah, you might still get accused of hating those who don't look like you!  My bf is tall, dark and handsome, but I've dated all shades of guys.  That's the norm in my family, as we range from paler than some white people to dark and lovely.   :)
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naturallybeyoutiful

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Re: BLACK LOVE
« Reply #59 on: July 26, 2007, 10:59:24 AM »
the point: to eliminate a group of men or women on the sole basis that they are dark or light skinned is crazy..

no one said that a person has to "justify" why someone is dating someone that is of lighter or darker skin than they are--- that is just silly but for a person to see a person that has every other quality that they desire in a mate - and to say "i'll pass because u're dark" or "i'll pass because you're light" is very problematic...

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