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Author Topic: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?  (Read 15611 times)

Elephant Lee

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #250 on: July 16, 2007, 04:25:32 PM »
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ETA: Other substantial things that have been completely ignored in this thread:
-Does a prenup make a divorce less contentious or damaging (financially, emotionally, etc.)?
-Does a prenup make the outcome more fair/equitable?
Well, the answer to those two questions would obviously be yes, since that's exactly what a prenup does. I'm not even going to bother to google this for anecdotal evidence :)
That's a huge assumption. That's the INTENTION of a prenup. The result is not clear. For instance:.
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20041111-000003.html

Anyway, I found Mahar's paper. http://www.law.harvard.edu/programs/olin_center/papers/pdf/436.pdf

Not sure if she has another one, but the only statistical analysis involves surveying people about what they believe their chances of divorce are. Nothing to do with whether prenup increases the chances that I could find.
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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #251 on: July 16, 2007, 04:32:19 PM »
Citing a number quoted over and over again on internet message boards doesn't make it scientific.
True, but since it was confirmed (at least very closely) by statistical evidence, I guess it's still good enough.

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And I don't think it's surprising that people don't think divorce would happen to them.  Why would you want to enter into a marriage that you believed might end in divorce?
Because I believe people generally and intelligent and reflective and consider also the unwanted outcomes when making a decision. I know I'm putting a lot of faith in "people", but that's how I am. The same way I know that driving might lead to a car crash. I chose to do it because the reward of driving outweighs the risk of being hit by a truck. I like to think people getting married are realistic enough to make the same risk versus reward consideration. If you truly love someone, 50% chance of success would be worth taking. Although, with precautions.

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Many of these people are deluding themselves, or are simply not thinking it through.
I'd argue all of them, but good enough. I don't think there's a single married couple in the world who shouldn't even consider the possibility of a divorce.

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It is possible to think through (with your brain) the decision of getting married and consciously decide that a prenup undermines the foundation of marriage not to be worth it (particularly since prenups can often be challenged in court anyway).
Yes it is, but I firmly believe it to be an unwise decision. If the prenup has to go to court you can only image how messy the divorce would be without one.

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I am very confident in my marriage.  I would never want to be part of a marriage in which I was anything less than confident, and I'm not sure why anyone else would, either.
I agree, confident is good. Blind confidence isn't. You should believe that the marriage would last. You should, however, not totally disregard the chances that it might not.


Elephant Lee

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #252 on: July 16, 2007, 04:56:46 PM »
This was my country
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"I guess she was a hooker, that makes sense, those shorts didn't really look all that comfortable." -Dash

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I put 'em back in the jacket of the one I love
Carry that velvet sack full of pretty colored marbles
And I'll ask you for 'em back, when I'm ready and done

Elephant Lee

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #254 on: July 16, 2007, 05:04:24 PM »
I saw that as well.  :D
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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #255 on: July 16, 2007, 05:05:07 PM »
"And these days, with divorce rates skyrocketing and so many brutally mercenary women out there who think that they're entitled to your hard-earned money..."

I just found a new favorite website.

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #256 on: July 16, 2007, 06:00:00 PM »
"And these days, with divorce rates skyrocketing and so many brutally mercenary women out there who think that they're entitled to your hard-earned money..."

I just found a new favorite website.

Haha, this is really funny, because I was just thinking how I could be a vindictive female dog and screw my ex out of his money in the event of divorce... so maybe a prenup would be less for me and more for him.  I can be pretty nasty when provoked.  ;)

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #257 on: July 16, 2007, 06:08:49 PM »
I think anyone who doesn't want to sign one is living in this fantasy, fairy tale, naive, gullible state of mind.

Common! PEOPLE!!! You came to this world alone, what makes you think this is a "ride or die" world!? 

Both party's attorney will go through the pre-nup and give legal advise so it's not like someone is trying to pull a fast one.  If no deal, then just don't get married.

CASE CLOSED!

Elephant Lee

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #258 on: July 16, 2007, 06:20:01 PM »
Thanks for not adding anything to the conversation.

Case still open.
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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #259 on: July 16, 2007, 06:21:12 PM »
But she said it was closed...