PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?

[Alamo]

From where do you get 49%?

Some ranking of countries sorted by chance of divorce, USA placed 5th with 49%. That being said the 49% or "close to 50%" is cited so many places I doubt it will be difficult to have it confirmed.

What I really found interesting is that only approximately 10% of the population believe a divorce will happen to them. Then again, I was quite surprised with your confidence in your marriage as well.

Citing a number quoted over and over again on internet message boards doesn't make it scientific.

And I don't think it's surprising that people don't think divorce would happen to them.  Why would you want to enter into a marriage that you believed might end in divorce?  Many of these people are deluding themselves, or are simply not thinking it through. 

It is possible to think through (with your brain) the decision of getting married and consciously decide that a prenup undermines the foundation of marriage not to be worth it (particularly since prenups can often be challenged in court anyway). 

I am very confident in my marriage.  I would never want to be part of a marriage in which I was anything less than confident, and I'm not sure why anyone else would, either.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm

Interesting.  To cherry-pick a stat that supports my underlying principles, take a look at the number of marriages in Nevada (in the last table): 4th highest of any state in the country.

[Elephant Lee]

ETA: Other substantial things that have been completely ignored in this thread:
-Does a prenup make a divorce less contentious or damaging (financially, emotionally, etc.)?
-Does a prenup make the outcome more fair/equitable?

Well, the answer to those two questions would obviously be yes, since that's exactly what a prenup does. I'm not even going to bother to google this for anecdotal evidence

That's a huge assumption. That's the INTENTION of a prenup. The result is not clear. For instance:.
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20041111-000003.html

Anyway, I found Mahar's paper. http://www.law.harvard.edu/programs/olin_center/papers/pdf/436.pdf

Not sure if she has another one, but the only statistical analysis involves surveying people about what they believe their chances of divorce are. Nothing to do with whether prenup increases the chances that I could find.

[«ě»]

Citing a number quoted over and over again on internet message boards doesn't make it scientific.

True, but since it was confirmed (at least very closely) by statistical evidence, I guess it's still good enough.

And I don't think it's surprising that people don't think divorce would happen to them.  Why would you want to enter into a marriage that you believed might end in divorce?

Because I believe people generally and intelligent and reflective and consider also the unwanted outcomes when making a decision. I know I'm putting a lot of faith in "people", but that's how I am. The same way I know that driving might lead to a car crash. I chose to do it because the reward of driving outweighs the risk of being hit by a truck. I like to think people getting married are realistic enough to make the same risk versus reward consideration. If you truly love someone, 50% chance of success would be worth taking. Although, with precautions.

Many of these people are deluding themselves, or are simply not thinking it through.

I'd argue all of them, but good enough. I don't think there's a single married couple in the world who shouldn't even consider the possibility of a divorce.

It is possible to think through (with your brain) the decision of getting married and consciously decide that a prenup undermines the foundation of marriage not to be worth it (particularly since prenups can often be challenged in court anyway).

Yes it is, but I firmly believe it to be an unwise decision. If the prenup has to go to court you can only image how messy the divorce would be without one.

I am very confident in my marriage.  I would never want to be part of a marriage in which I was anything less than confident, and I'm not sure why anyone else would, either.

I agree, confident is good. Blind confidence isn't. You should believe that the marriage would last. You should, however, not totally disregard the chances that it might not.

[Elephant Lee]

[GraphiteDirigible]

 

[Elephant Lee]

I saw that as well. 

[n/a]

"And these days, with divorce rates skyrocketing and so many brutally mercenary women out there who think that they're entitled to your hard-earned money..."

I just found a new favorite website.

[fuwaf]

"And these days, with divorce rates skyrocketing and so many brutally mercenary women out there who think that they're entitled to your hard-earned money..."

I just found a new favorite website.

Haha, this is really funny, because I was just thinking how I could be a vindictive female dog and screw my ex out of his money in the event of divorce... so maybe a prenup would be less for me and more for him.  I can be pretty nasty when provoked. 

[Too Embarrassed]

I think anyone who doesn't want to sign one is living in this fantasy, fairy tale, naive, gullible state of mind.

Common! PEOPLE!!! You came to this world alone, what makes you think this is a "ride or die" world!? 

Both party's attorney will go through the pre-nup and give legal advise so it's not like someone is trying to pull a fast one.  If no deal, then just don't get married.

CASE CLOSED!

[Elephant Lee]

Thanks for not adding anything to the conversation.

Case still open.