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Author Topic: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?  (Read 15251 times)

ljg

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #160 on: July 12, 2007, 09:42:29 AM »
How is it his stuff if she sacrificed her independence and self-reliance and spent 20 years catering to him so that he could become that bigwig executive?  At the very least he should reimburse her for lost wages. (at the going rate for a scretary if he's determined to be a prick about it)

I don't even know that she sacrificed anything. There's plenty of women looking to get 'married well' so they don't have to work and stand on their own feet. There's no sacrifice to them, they get to live the life of Paris Hilton, shopping without having an income etc. I'm not saying this is the case for ljg's example, but there's plenty of women who actively seek to not have to do jack sh*t. I don't feel the least bit sorry for these people when their sugar daddy packs up and leave. If you based your life on marriage and decided to not amount to a productive human being yourself; @#!* you.

Yet again, this isn't relevant to ljg's example at all, I know nothing about neither of these people. It is however my very strong opinion that money and wealth belongs to the person who created it. No, being a house wife isn't a $500k/year job. Especially if you're not doing house work to begin with, that'd done by Carmen the illegal maid.

The more I talk to women about these kind of things, the more reassured I become I'll never want to marry any of you.

I don't think it's quite so black and white...

Let's take my mother, for example. Brilliant woman- she grew up in poverty, worked her way through one of the top colleges in MA, became a CPA and met my father while working as an intern at his accounting firm. They got married when she was 21, had me when she was 23, and had my sister when she was 26. When it got to the point where paying for care for me (and eventually my sister) was costing more than my mother was making at work, her and my father made a joint decision that she would stay home to raise us while my father continued on the partner track at work.

28 years later, my father owns his own accounting firm and is a big player in the accounting world in my state, and my mother "dabbles" in private accounting. She hasn't worked as a CPA since I was a baby, but has kept her certification. I would argue that her job as a mother MORE than warrants a "salary"- between me and my sister she was always on the run, cleaning, cooking, doing the errands, driving us to school and picking us up, bringing us to play dates, doctors appointments, after school activities, sports games in high school...you get the picture. Most of the time, because of my father's long work hours, she did this with little to no help from him (I LOVE my father more than anything, we have a great relationship, but the truth is that he wasn't around much when I was growing up). My mother, being the intelligent woman that she is, also handles most of my parent's investments- it's because of her smart choices that both my sister and I were able to graduate college with no debt (if she had gone with my father's wishes the money would have been lost in the stock market), and my parents live a wonderful life- they're constantly travelling around the world (most recent trips were to Australia, New Zealand and Alaska, and next on the list is China), doing work on our house, buying each other wonderful presents "just because", etc.

So, if (God forbid) my parents got divorced, could you really argue that my Dad's wealth belongs to him and only him? Would my mother deserve nothing because my parents decided AS A COUPLE that the best thing for the family was for her to raise us, since my dad was making more $$ at the time? I have no doubt that if my mother had stayed in the working world she would have climbed the corporate latter and made big bucks- just doesn't seem fair to say that all of my parents' money really belongs to my dad because he was the one working.

Sam P. Huntington

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #161 on: July 12, 2007, 10:22:37 AM »
Say your girlfriend or boyfriend is anti-prenup. What do you do to convince them to sign one? Pre-marriage counseling?
Boston College Law School Class of 2010

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #162 on: July 12, 2007, 10:49:33 AM »
Technically Paris Hilton has an income....
Yeah, but just because she's famous for being dumb. I was more thinking about the partying and shopping with no regard to where the money comes from.

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Once you get married, saying that the wealth and money belongs to you because you earned it will create a lot of dissent and possibly grounds for divorce.
Which is one of the reasons I'm not getting married.

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If your wife has to stay home to take care of the house and kids and little things like grocery shopping while you're at work all day, I'd say thats splitting it about equally.
Yeah, taking care of the kids and doing some grocery shopping certainly equals a 90 hour week as a corporate lawyer, or whatever. So essentially, being house wife for an industrial worker is a job worth $15k a year, but being Donald Trump's wife is a job worth $25million a year? @#!* no.

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All because she isn't getting paid for her work, doesn't make it less valuable that what you are doing for a salary.
Actually, it does.

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Even if you do have help like a housekeeper, I highly doubt any of us will end up with live in chefs, nannies, and gardners as well. There is still a lot to be done around the house.
You frigging got to be kidding me.

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Additionally, more and more people don't want nannies because they actually want to be raising their own children. I'd say raising a child to be a useful contributing member of society can be a full time job.
Full time job? No. Honorable job, sure it is. Not saying they shouldn't get anything. But saying that being a wife / housewife automatically equals whatever job your spouse has is just ridiculous.

GraphiteDirigible

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #163 on: July 12, 2007, 11:01:49 AM »
How is it his stuff if she sacrificed her independence and self-reliance and spent 20 years catering to him so that he could become that bigwig executive?  At the very least he should reimburse her for lost wages. (at the going rate for a scretary if he's determined to be a prick about it)

I don't even know that she sacrificed anything. There's plenty of women looking to get 'married well' so they don't have to work and stand on their own feet. There's no sacrifice to them, they get to live the life of Paris Hilton, shopping without having an income etc. I'm not saying this is the case for ljg's example, but there's plenty of women who actively seek to not have to do jack sh*t. I don't feel the least bit sorry for these people when their sugar daddy packs up and leave. If you based your life on marriage and decided to not amount to a productive human being yourself; @#!* you.

Yet again, this isn't relevant to ljg's example at all, I know nothing about neither of these people. It is however my very strong opinion that money and wealth belongs to the person who created it. No, being a house wife isn't a $500k/year job. Especially if you're not doing house work to begin with, that'd done by Carmen the illegal maid.

The more I talk to women about these kind of things, the more reassured I become I'll never want to marry any of you.

Yeah, but you get your rocks off by watching Ultimate Fighting anyway, right?
Happy colored marbles that are rolling in my head
I put 'em back in the jacket of the one I love
Carry that velvet sack full of pretty colored marbles
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flyaway

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #164 on: July 12, 2007, 11:27:48 AM »
But it's not just about how much money cleaning/raising kids is worth.  It's also about the professional sacrifices the woman made to do that.  ljg's post is a great example of that.
Michigan Law Class of 2010

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #165 on: July 12, 2007, 11:38:15 AM »
How is it his stuff if she sacrificed her independence and self-reliance and spent 20 years catering to him so that he could become that bigwig executive?  At the very least he should reimburse her for lost wages. (at the going rate for a scretary if he's determined to be a prick about it)

I don't even know that she sacrificed anything. There's plenty of women looking to get 'married well' so they don't have to work and stand on their own feet. There's no sacrifice to them, they get to live the life of Paris Hilton, shopping without having an income etc. I'm not saying this is the case for ljg's example, but there's plenty of women who actively seek to not have to do jack sh*t. I don't feel the least bit sorry for these people when their sugar daddy packs up and leave. If you based your life on marriage and decided to not amount to a productive human being yourself; @#!* you.

Yet again, this isn't relevant to ljg's example at all, I know nothing about neither of these people. It is however my very strong opinion that money and wealth belongs to the person who created it. No, being a house wife isn't a $500k/year job. Especially if you're not doing house work to begin with, that'd done by Carmen the illegal maid.

The more I talk to women about these kind of things, the more reassured I become I'll never want to marry any of you.

Yeah, but you get your rocks off by watching Ultimate Fighting anyway, right?

Ooooh yeah *moans*

But it's not just about how much money cleaning/raising kids is worth.  It's also about the professional sacrifices the woman made to do that.  ljg's post is a great example of that.

Sure, and I've never said what I say apply to all women, but it does unquestionably apply to many.

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #166 on: July 12, 2007, 11:40:47 AM »
But it's not just about how much money cleaning/raising kids is worth.  It's also about the professional sacrifices the woman made to do that.  ljg's post is a great example of that.

That's why housewives should earn a salary from their husbands.  If the woman doesn't save that money and gets screwed over in a divorce, that's her fault.
Columbia Law School 2010

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #167 on: July 12, 2007, 11:42:03 AM »
But it's not just about how much money cleaning/raising kids is worth.  It's also about the professional sacrifices the woman made to do that.  ljg's post is a great example of that.

I'd agree, this should be taken into consideration.  I still agree with everything e is saying though.  I don't think the woman is entitled to nothing, I just don't think she's entitled to half in every situation.  For example, the girl I've been going out with for a while is going to grad school for social work.  She'll come out making 45k or so, while I'll be closer to 200k.  Say 6-8 years from now we get married and start having kids, she's making 60k or whatever, I'm at 300k.  She quits and raises the kids for 5-10 years, then we get divorced.  I would say she's entitled to what her salary would have been for those years she was raising the kids, not half of mine.

John Blackthorne

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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #168 on: July 12, 2007, 11:42:45 AM »
But it's not just about how much money cleaning/raising kids is worth.  It's also about the professional sacrifices the woman made to do that.  ljg's post is a great example of that.

That's why housewives should earn a salary from their husbands.  If the woman doesn't save that money and gets screwed over in a divorce, that's her fault.

what a clown
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Re: PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?
« Reply #169 on: July 12, 2007, 11:42:58 AM »
But it's not just about how much money cleaning/raising kids is worth.  It's also about the professional sacrifices the woman made to do that.  ljg's post is a great example of that.

That's why housewives should earn a salary from their husbands.  If the woman doesn't save that money and gets screwed over in a divorce, that's her fault.

I like this solution.  Hopefully I can pay her with sex.