PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?

[ljg]

I'm all for prenups. I watched a cousin of mine go through a nasty divorce a few years back after 20+ years of marriage- she was a stay at home mom, her husband was a bigwig executive, and she got SCREWED in the divorice. Plus, she had been out of the workforce for a very long time and it was more than difficult for her to find a job that would allow her to support herself- it was a bad situation all around.

I will be making more money than my bf after law school, and he has no problem signing a prenup- he's always said that if we were to get married and then divorced his ego/pride wouldn't stop him from taking any money from me.

[GraphiteDirigible]

With?

maybe...

I bet she's a juicy piece of ham butt.

Sexy.

[«ě»]

I'm all for prenups. I watched a cousin of mine go through a nasty divorce a few years back after 20+ years of marriage- she was a stay at home mom, her husband was a bigwig executive, and she got SCREWED in the divorice. Plus, she had been out of the workforce for a very long time and it was more than difficult for her to find a job that would allow her to support herself- it was a bad situation all around

Not questioning her experience, but this sounds a lot more like a scenario where he'd get screwed by her talking half of his *&^%.

[ljg]

I'm all for prenups. I watched a cousin of mine go through a nasty divorce a few years back after 20+ years of marriage- she was a stay at home mom, her husband was a bigwig executive, and she got SCREWED in the divorice. Plus, she had been out of the workforce for a very long time and it was more than difficult for her to find a job that would allow her to support herself- it was a bad situation all around

Not questioning her experience, but this sounds a lot more like a scenario where he'd get screwed by her talking half of his sh*t.

Wouldn't you think? He had a good attorney, she didn't. Don't quite know how it happened, but he screwed her over and she got almost nothing.

[TinaTina]

How is it his stuff if she sacrificed her independence and self-reliance and spent 20 years catering to him so that he could become that bigwig executive?  At the very least he should reimburse her for lost wages. (at the going rate for a scretary if he's determined to be a prick about it)

[ljg]

How is it his stuff if she sacrificed her independence and self-reliance and spent 20 years catering to him so that he could become that bigwig executive?  At the very least he should reimburse her for lost wages. (at the going rate for a scretary if he's determined to be a prick about it)

Agreed. That's why I'm all for prenups- if I were in a situation where I had a stay at home husband, I wouldn't want to be the prick who completely screwed him over just because I have the $$ to hire a good attorney. A prenups ensures that neither party is left with nothing, like my cousin.

[Too Embarrassed]

I'm all for prenups. I watched a cousin of mine go through a nasty divorce a few years back after 20+ years of marriage- she was a stay at home mom, her husband was a bigwig executive, and she got SCREWED in the divorice. Plus, she had been out of the workforce for a very long time and it was more than difficult for her to find a job that would allow her to support herself- it was a bad situation all around.

If she was a stay at home mom, she can get alimony.  Did she at least get a good child support order.  If he's a big wig exec, he should be paying big $$$ for child support.

[ljg]

I'm all for prenups. I watched a cousin of mine go through a nasty divorce a few years back after 20+ years of marriage- she was a stay at home mom, her husband was a bigwig executive, and she got SCREWED in the divorice. Plus, she had been out of the workforce for a very long time and it was more than difficult for her to find a job that would allow her to support herself- it was a bad situation all around.

If she was a stay at home mom, she can get alimony.  Did she at least get a good child support order.  If he's a big wig exec, he should be paying big $$$ for child support.

No child support- the children were in college and not living with her. He did foot the college bill and the kids expenses, but technically none of it went to her. She got some $$, but certainly not even close to what you would expect, and not enough to live on (given the lack of working a traditional job for that long).

[fuwaf]

I know of a similar situation with my friend's mom... I don't think she got totally screwed over, but she was a teacher for years, then stopped working when she got pregnant with their only child, and he supported the entire family.  Then 20 odd years later he starts having an affair with some woman in Minneapolis and they get divorced and he packs off to Minnesota.  So meanwhile, she has no work experience for decades, she's in her 50s, and she has no income.  I'm sure he's supporting her to some extent, but her daughter was already in college, and based on what ljg says she probably doesn't get much.  The point is that YOU JUST DON'T KNOW.

Another story-- my cello teacher was married to a guy for decades, and they were a perfectly normal couple and you would have thought they'd be together forever.  They retired and bought a bed & breakfast to run in West Virginia.  COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE a few years ago, her husband just leaves.  I think he left her a NOTE.  Seriously.  I don't know her financial situation afterwards, but she had to sell the B&B.  Again, the point is... you just don't know.  People can be very, very surprising. 

[Too Embarrassed]

::Note to self::

a.  Never get married (again)
b.  If you get married, get pre-nup
c.  Never trust anyone
d.  Marriage isn't guaranteee
e.  Make your own money and don't depend on your spouse
f.  Each man for himself
g.  Hide $$$