PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?

[TwinkyBean]

I'm going though a divorce right now, (for the past year) and we didn't make that much money.. I was in school full-time and taking care of a baby, and he was in the military.. But now that he is refusing to pay child support.. I kinda wish we had a prenup so I could make him suffer more, knowing that he owes ME money...hahaa

Well, he won't be getting away with it for long.  He will go to jail, his passport and/or drivers license will be seized, his wage garnishment, he won't get his tax refund, it shows up on his credit report...

I have a deep hatred for DEADBEAT Dads!

But the thing is, he's overseas, stationed with the military, and there is absolutely NOTHING I, or my attorneys, can do. He's protected by something called the Soldiers' and Sailors' Relief Act... which protects them from legal action regarding foreclosure, bankruptcy, and DIVORCE. I just have to deal what whatever I'm getting from him now (money, I mean) until he comes back to the US... it sucks.. and could go on for years if he doesn't come back over here. Yeah, he's a f*cking loser.  

[Too Embarrassed]

There's nothing wrong with a prenup except that it isn't very romantic.  Even if you don't get one, you definitely, definitely want to protect yourself financially.  I used to work at a credit card company and I heard OVER and OVER and OVER again from dozens of people about how their ex-partner totally destroyed their credit by draining joint accounts and jacking up joint credit cards.  My friend who works in a bank told me about a guy she helped whose ex-partner took their entire savings out of a joint account.  You may not want to think that kind of thing could happen to you, and you might think that the person you're married to is wonderful and faithful and will be that way forever, but people change.  So if you don't want a prenup, limit the assets you keep in joint accounts.  It's not sweet and loving, but it's safer.  And more realistic.  For both parties, frankly.

Exactly!  Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! He's "different" you are "in love" - Be Smart and protect yourself.  What's love got to do with it!  It's each man for himself.  

[michelle d]

Indeed, refusing to pay child support isn't cool, that's not at all what I'm saying. Prenups should be fair in both directions, and I think they usually are.

Yeah, because making major sacrifices to see a spouse through professional school automatically makes you a lazy-ass.  The simple fact of the matter is when you help someone through several years of law/medical/professional/grad school, you often to get screwed in a divorce.

[«ě»]

Sell his stuff on ebay.

[«ě»]

Indeed, refusing to pay child support isn't cool, that's not at all what I'm saying. Prenups should be fair in both directions, and I think they usually are.

Yeah, because making major sacrifices to see a spouse through professional school automatically makes you a lazy-ass.  The simple fact of the matter is when you help someone through several years of law/medical/professional/grad school, you often to get screwed in a divorce.

That makes no sense in relation to what I wrote.

[....,,.,]

The simple fact of the matter is when you help someone through several years of law/medical/professional/grad school, you often to get screwed in a divorce.

Yeah, like Donna Moss and her bf, except it was a break-up, not a divorce.

Yeah that's right, it's a two way street even if one direction might have heavier traffic.

I enjoyed that line.

[Too Embarrassed]

Unlike deadbeat moms which you fully support?
Yeah that's right, it's a two way street even if one direction might have heavier traffic.

Well, I care more about my side of the traffic.

[TwinkyBean]

Unlike deadbeat moms which you fully support?
Yeah that's right, it's a two way street even if one direction might have heavier traffic.

Well, I care more about my side of the traffic.

And my daughter's... (she's little, so she gets to ride in the carpool (HOV) lane.. lol)

[fuwaf]

There's nothing wrong with a prenup except that it isn't very romantic.

What I was getting at earlier and now return to:

romance and the legal institution of marriage are two distinct, though often conflated, things.

I'm not really sure what point you're making.

[linquest]

There's nothing wrong with a prenup except that it isn't very romantic.

For anyone who's getting engaged/married, and worried about bringing up the prenup issue to your significant other, you should read this book:
Prenups for Lovers: A Romantic Guide to Prenuptial Agreements http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/0375755357/ref=dp_proddesc_0/102-7634502-2304900?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books

The author outlines why you should have a prenup even if you're "in love and planning on staying together forever" and how to approach the issue in a way that strengthens your marriage rather than setting it up for failure as some people believe prenup discussions will do.