PRENUP - why is it such a sore topic?

[Ravynous Elegance]

I kind of think that a prenup is becoming a normal part of wedding planning...

You have to be kidding me. Considering a prenup or getting one? I highly doubt that getting a prenup is a normal part of wedding planning. Maybe in Cape Cod, the Hamptons, NY society pages. But, no way for the majority. A) most people don't have the assets to even make it a consideration. B) It's does imply planning for the worst and most newly weds simply don't want to even admit the possibility.

Okay fine... Everyone that I know that has gotten married recently/is planning a wedding has had or is getting a prenup. I'm in Fairfield County CT however, so you might be right about the majority of the US not getting them.

However on that stupid engaged and underage show, a few of them got prenups and they weren't exactly wealthy.

EDIT: Additionally, I don't think its stupid to plan for the worst. People do it with everyday things. Its just like getting insurance in case something happens. I don't see why you have to get all upset about protecting yourself and your assets from being taken when you dont get upset about paying for car insurance or home owners insurance. Its just a safety net, like anything else.

[«ě»]

There are no statistics on how many prenuptial agreements are written, probably because they do not need to be filed until they're enforced, attorneys say. But here's a hint: The best-selling book in Amazon.com's marriage category in 1999 was "How to Write Your Own Premarital Agreement."

There is no set formula for what ought to be stipulated in a premarital agreement, Woodhouse says. However, for any such pact to be valid, you need three things:

* First, you must give adequate notice. You cannot present a premarital agreement to your prospective spouse in the limousine on the way to the wedding and expect it to hold up later, says Monica Braun, an attorney and a financial advisor with American Express Financial Advisors in Long Beach. Both parties should have a chance to carefully consider the document and have it reviewed by their attorneys.

* The second absolute requirement is disclosure, attorneys say. Not only must both parties list their respective assets, but they need to show each other documents, ranging from credit card bills and tax returns to brokerage statements and pension print-outs, detailing what they have and what's being keep separate. In fact, if you write your own premarital agreement, Michigan attorney and "Premarital Agreement" author Edward A. Haman suggests that you attach these documents to your contract.

* The third essential is a marriage plan or "statement of intent," Woodhouse says. This should spell out who the parties are, what they bring to the marriage and what they intend to share. Anything that's precious and requires protection should be included. There is no formula for this step, attorneys say. However, it is important to contemplate whether you and your spouse plan to have children and whether one of you will stay home with them, Woodhouse says. How will the couple handle money when one is no longer earning an income?

[GraphiteDirigible]

There are no statistics on how many prenuptial agreements are written, probably because they do not need to be filed until they're enforced, attorneys say. But here's a hint: The best-selling book in Amazon.com's marriage category in 1999 was "How to Write Your Own Premarital Agreement."

Well, I didn't see a "marriage" section. But here's the best-selling list for the "weddings" section:

http://www.amazon.com/Weddings-Home-Garden-Books/b/ref=amb_link_12/103-2075418-4511830?%5Fencoding=UTF8&node=5418&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=browse&pf_rd_r=0ZNBN8HYSNP25DYH09CC&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=245893601&pf_rd_i=48

[«ě»]

There are no statistics on how many prenuptial agreements are written, probably because they do not need to be filed until they're enforced, attorneys say. But here's a hint: The best-selling book in Amazon.com's marriage category in 1999 was "How to Write Your Own Premarital Agreement."

[Too Embarrassed]

If the 2 people in the marriage are both hard working, I see no reason why they won't want to sign a prenup.  Usually, the lazy one of the couple is the one who refuses to sign one. 

Oh boy...the worst is paying alimony!  Urrrgh! Lazy bastard! Go get a f**king job!

[TwinkyBean]

I'm going though a divorce right now, (for the past year) and we didn't make that much money.. I was in school full-time and taking care of a baby, and he was in the military.. But now that he is refusing to pay child support.. I kinda wish we had a prenup so I could make him suffer more, knowing that he owes ME money...hahaa

[«ě»]

Indeed, refusing to pay child support isn't cool, that's not at all what I'm saying. Prenups should be fair in both directions, and I think they usually are.

[Too Embarrassed]

I'm going though a divorce right now, (for the past year) and we didn't make that much money.. I was in school full-time and taking care of a baby, and he was in the military.. But now that he is refusing to pay child support.. I kinda wish we had a prenup so I could make him suffer more, knowing that he owes ME money...hahaa

Well, he won't be getting away with it for long.  He will go to jail, his passport and/or drivers license will be seized, his wage garnishment, he won't get his tax refund, it shows up on his credit report...

I have a deep hatred for DEADBEAT Dads!

[«ě»]

Unlike deadbeat moms which you fully support?
Yeah that's right, it's a two way street even if one direction might have heavier traffic.

[fuwaf]

There's nothing wrong with a prenup except that it isn't very romantic.  Even if you don't get one, you definitely, definitely want to protect yourself financially.  I used to work at a credit card company and I heard OVER and OVER and OVER again from dozens of people about how their ex-partner totally destroyed their credit by draining joint accounts and jacking up joint credit cards.  My friend who works in a bank told me about a guy she helped whose ex-partner took their entire savings out of a joint account.  You may not want to think that kind of thing could happen to you, and you might think that the person you're married to is wonderful and faithful and will be that way forever, but people change.  So if you don't want a prenup, limit the assets you keep in joint accounts.  It's not sweet and loving, but it's safer.  And more realistic.  For both parties, frankly.