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Author Topic: The DOWNY Advice Page  (Read 7614 times)

DOWNY

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The DOWNY Advice Page
« on: September 20, 2004, 10:16:09 PM »
What's up people,

Since it is beyond any doubt that DOWNY is god and knows everything, I have decided to make a DOWNY Advice Page. Now, I know what you're thinking- "But DOWNY, I already apply the principle of WWDD (What Would DOWNY Do?) to my daily life!" That's a good start, friends, but given the inherently unpredictable nature of DOWNY's actions it is sometimes hard to know what he would do.

To make life easier for everyone, this page provides a place to ask DOWNY for advice on *&^% that matters to you. Remember, DOWNY knows everything.

lexylit

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2004, 10:18:30 PM »
what time do i need to get on the bus in framingham for boston to be at logan for my 4:00 flight to philly? i thought 2 was fine but my brother says 1:30.

ruskiegirl

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2004, 11:12:51 PM »
What's up people,

Since it is beyond any doubt that DOWNY is god and knows everything, I have decided to make a DOWNY Advice Page. Now, I know what you're thinking- "But DOWNY, I already apply the principle of WWDD (What Would DOWNY Do?) to my daily life!" That's a good start, friends, but given the inherently unpredictable nature of DOWNY's actions it is sometimes hard to know what he would do.

To make life easier for everyone, this page provides a place to ask DOWNY for advice on *&^% that matters to you. Remember, DOWNY knows everything.
DOWNY, I believe I coined the WWDD principle in one of my posts.  What will be the reward for such remarkable wit?

thechoson

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2004, 11:14:16 PM »
Downy, I have a crush on a girl.  But she's married.  Should I kill her husband and jack her away?  Or should I just beat the crap out of him and jack her away?

DOWNY

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2004, 06:52:03 PM »
what time do i need to get on the bus in framingham for boston to be at logan for my 4:00 flight to philly? i thought 2 was fine but my brother says 1:30.

DOWNY knows this one.

You have two options:

a. Get there at 3:00 and say that you have a bomb on you. This will get you right past the normal lines that wrap all the way around the airport. Sure, you will be interrogated, but it's worth it if you don't have to stand in line as long.

b. Don't go at all. @#!* it. When's the last time you got wasted and staggered around Boston? Seems like more fun than going to Philly.

DOWNY

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2004, 06:52:46 PM »
What's up people,

Since it is beyond any doubt that DOWNY is god and knows everything, I have decided to make a DOWNY Advice Page. Now, I know what you're thinking- "But DOWNY, I already apply the principle of WWDD (What Would DOWNY Do?) to my daily life!" That's a good start, friends, but given the inherently unpredictable nature of DOWNY's actions it is sometimes hard to know what he would do.

To make life easier for everyone, this page provides a place to ask DOWNY for advice on *&^% that matters to you. Remember, DOWNY knows everything.
DOWNY, I believe I coined the WWDD principle in one of my posts.  What will be the reward for such remarkable wit?

Anything you want. DOWNY owes you for the remarkable wit.

DOWNY

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2004, 06:56:03 PM »
Downy, I have a crush on a girl.  But she's married.  Should I kill her husband and jack her away?  Or should I just beat the crap out of him and jack her away?

Don't kill the feminine hygiene product bag, even though he probably deserves it. It would be a waste to lose your future. This alone prevents DOWNY from carrying out his plans against people on the Death List.

Instead, convince her, in a subtle fashion, that her life as a married woman is *&^%. Make subtle comments about housework and being tied down and *&^% like that.

Then get her to have a casual dinner/lunch with you on a Friday or Saturday. Get her a little drunk and keep working the subtle hints. Soon she won't even remember she's married. It's your job to prompt her into creating a mental image of how much better her life was when she was single. The mind is very easily convinced through slight intimations.

Works every time. DOWNY knows.

thechoson

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2004, 07:03:40 PM »
Downy, I have a crush on a girl.  But she's married.  Should I kill her husband and jack her away?  Or should I just beat the crap out of him and jack her away?

Don't kill the feminine hygiene product bag, even though he probably deserves it. It would be a waste to lose your future. This alone prevents DOWNY from carrying out his plans against people on the Death List.

Instead, convince her, in a subtle fashion, that her life as a married woman is *&^%. Make subtle comments about housework and being tied down and *&^% like that.

Then get her to have a casual dinner/lunch with you on a Friday or Saturday. Get her a little drunk and keep working the subtle hints. Soon she won't even remember she's married. It's your job to prompt her into creating a mental image of how much better her life was when she was single. The mind is very easily convinced through slight intimations.

Works every time. DOWNY knows.

Damn, this is real good. Thanks, Downy!

Tobias Beecher

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2004, 07:33:25 PM »
DOWNY what's the shortcut to score a 180?

I think 179 is my ceiling..... :-\


ruskiegirl

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Re: The DOWNY Advice Page
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2004, 09:50:15 PM »
Dear DOWNY,

As you probably know, law school makes one extrememly sexually frustrated.  My problem is that there is no one fuckable in a 400 mile radius of Berkeley.  What should I do?

RuskieGirl