Law School Discussion

Dating & Relationships in Law School

Nemesis

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #270 on: July 10, 2007, 07:03:13 AM »
been trying to tell folks.   LS---> not a lot of good looking ppls. As u go up the educational ladder, down goes the level of attractiveness  :D  

Eh but it's the type of thing that you have to be there to really get it, ya know?  Soon as ppl get in they wont be worried about this type of stuff.  The focus will soon change. When I was a 0L, I was asking folks "what do LS students wear"  :D

Say what now? I'm fine as hell!

Statistic

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #271 on: July 10, 2007, 07:06:22 AM »
i thought that, the smart uglies/dumb hotties thing, to be true. but i don't think so anymore.

cui bono?

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #272 on: July 10, 2007, 07:07:29 AM »
been trying to tell folks.   LS---> not a lot of good looking ppls. As u go up the educational ladder, down goes the level of attractiveness  :D  

Eh but it's the type of thing that you have to be there to really get it, ya know?  Soon as ppl get in they wont be worried about this type of stuff.  The focus will soon change. When I was a 0L, I was asking folks "what do LS students wear"  :D

Say what now? I'm fine as hell!

Of course u are but 2 of us can't possibly go to every school  ;)  Just not fair for the other 200+ law schools out there  :D

But why paint a view at all?  Everyone's different, and everyone deals differently with relationships.  Why not just say, you know what, LS can be a little rough from a dating perspective, but be careful and aware, and do you?

Because she's trying to help people.  She could just say "F these guys, theyll learn the hard way"

Just because people are different doesn't mean that the same stresses and strains on relationships wont exist for the huge majority of LS students.  I appreciate the advice, and had gotten it into my head that it would NOT be a good idea to get into a relationship or chase tail, other than random play at the bars.  The above 20 pages just solidify that premonition.

 :-* :-*

I didn't say don't make people aware - I said, why (essentially) say "don't do it"?  By all means, inform, but why take it to the next level?

That being said, I understand where cui and Sands are coming from in that they're trying to be helpful, and I certainly appreciate it.  I just don't quite get the mild hating on relationships entire, regardless of type or situation.  Since I'm sort of an outside observer, as I'm not in a relationship and am not really looking for one, the situation is just . . . curious to me.

Eh, Sands and I aren't saying "don't do it".  LOL- this all comes full circle because this time last year he and some others were telling me the same thing.  And I was like, "why, I dont understand...why is everyone being so anti-relationship.  Am I going to be so jaded when I finish?".  Now, I get it.  The student has become the teacher!  And I did give some good examples.  I'm being manipulative in the sense that I'm trying to scare ya'll into doing something that I want you to do for yourself:  If u all are in one, I want u to solidify it rt. now; If you are not in one, I want u to understand that pursuing one will be more difficult.  Why? Because LS is different than anything you have faced before.  

I'm ironically not anti-relationship.  I'm anti-badrelationship and I'm anti-anythingthatcausesmo'stress.  Dating is possible.

 

justGem

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #273 on: July 10, 2007, 07:08:10 AM »
been trying to tell folks.   LS---> not a lot of good looking ppls. As u go up the educational ladder, down goes the level of attractiveness  :D 

Eh but it's the type of thing that you have to be there to really get it, ya know?  Soon as ppl get in they wont be worried about this type of stuff.  The focus will soon change. When I was a 0L, I was asking folks "what do LS students wear"  :D

Say what now? I'm fine as hell!

Amen, you ain't the only one! :D

cui bono?

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #274 on: July 10, 2007, 07:08:47 AM »
Man, but overall boyz and galz  yeeeech

cui bono?

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #275 on: July 10, 2007, 09:11:43 AM »

Of course u are but 2 of us can't possibly go to every school  ;)  Just not fair for the other 200+ law schools out there  :D
 

Whatchu mean, the 2 of you? :P :D
okay +1 = 3 of us

cui bono?

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #276 on: July 10, 2007, 09:18:09 AM »
LOL-  neither Sands nor I will be hurt if ya'll go ahead and get into a relationship despite our "protests".  We are saying "do you"  but we're saying "do you... proceed with caution".  I'm saying that I want you guys to be healthy, wealthy, and happy.  The way to do that is to be cautious.  And ANYTHING/ANYONE that causes you stress while in your first yr, you need to have the strength to wave goodbye to, at least for the moment.  Not saying dead the relationship-  but modify it if it causes a prob.  But SOLIDIFY the relationships now. It's not as doom and gloom as I guess it seems like we're saying. 
    LOL this is soooo funny because I was saying this exact thing last year!    I was like "Sands/SMU/etc, it seems like ppl in law school are so down on relationships/ no real patience for ppl.  What's the deal with that?  I hope I don't get that way"  HAHA!  LS kinda changes ur perspective on things.  Doesn't change u completely but you see things differently as you begin "thinking like a lawyer".  Even things that you'd think are totally unrelated to LS.  For me, I'm not as sensitive as I was in my relationships-  better things to worry about.
        Dating is do-able.    But dating the wrong ppl is now more detrimental than it was b4 because of the situations Sands described.  What if it were closer to exam time?  What if he didn't bounce back?  I guess we should be advocating more "coping" skills but it's easier just to say "be careful". 
    I have more "pretty" stories.  Like how 2 of my friends met in LS 2 years ago.  Started out just studying together and now very serious and a "power" couple - doing very big things in BLSA.  Very attractive.  Both are supportive of the other and both are very ambituous. 
    Another story:  my mentor just got engaged!!!!  He's studying for the bar right now and rt before he graduated he proposed to his long time g/f.  The g/f is not in the field.  She seems wonderful.  And not to sound too girly (sorry fellas) but I love the way she looks at him-  so adoring, so sweet.    She's interested in his interests too-  shows up at events. Permanent fixture at BLSA events.  And is more than just "arm candy"  as she adds to the discussion at the dinner table. He's very "revolutionary" and she kinda mellows him out without being emasculating.  She seems to share his interests as far as his need to reach out to the newbies, like myself- she's right along with him cosigning what he says about succeeding in LS.  Granted she's not in LS but she's seen a whole bunch being with him.  They're so beautiful together and I'm really happy for him. 
    Obvious story:  SMU!   
 
Now this is the "dating & relationships thread", I'm curious as to why there aren't any questions/discussions on other "relationships" to be had in LS.  Like just being friends-  m/f,  mentor-mentee relationships (Sands mentioned he was a mentor to this guy, why not ask Sands about that instead of saying how much of a downer Sands' post was; I just mentioned that I have a mentor, ask me about that), professor/student relationships (dating or otherwise); study groups; what happens to your relationships with your best friends that aren't going to LS now that you are; how is your relationship gonna be with the parental unit(s) now that you are in LS, organizations, etc.  Back to the mentor/mentee thing-  why not ask how that came about, what are the benefits, what goes into being a good mentee/mentor, is it just students or actual lawyers, how do u ask someone to become ur mentor, should your mentor be the same sex as you/same potential field?   The focus on the dating thing is kinda why I may seem so anti-relationship  ---> I don't want you guys to focus on the wrong thing and end up hurting yourselves.    

pikey

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #277 on: July 10, 2007, 09:25:11 AM »
It's not a matter of focusing on the wrong thing.  I think (hope) we all know that there's more to life than "him" or "her".  Most people who see the title "dating and relationships" would assume the thread is about dating and other types of non-platonic relationships, not about relationships with your mentor.

In addition, law school and future career simply isn't the number one focus for everyone.  Obviously it is for you, that's great, but it's also great that other people have other focuses.  I've seen too many people live hectic, career-dominated lives and I am determined that I will not be one of them.  I am all about the balance.  Law school and my career will be very important, but they will not be the be all and end all in my life.  Maybe I won't do as well as I could.  But I'd rather do ok and be happy than stress myself out, cut everyone off, and be at the top of my class.  I know that I'll have great options regardless and I'll be sucessful regardless.

cui bono?

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #278 on: July 10, 2007, 09:32:15 AM »
It's not a matter of focusing on the wrong thing.  I think (hope) we all know that there's more to life than "him" or "her".  Most people who see the title "dating and relationships" would assume the thread is about dating and other types of non-platonic relationships, not about relationships with your mentor.

In addition, law school and future career simply isn't the number one focus for everyone.  Obviously it is for you, that's great, but it's also great that other people have other focuses.  I've seen too many people live hectic, career-dominated lives and I am determined that I will not be one of them.  I am all about the balance.  Law school and my career will be very important, but they will not be the be all and end all in my life.  Maybe I won't do as well as I could.  But I'd rather do ok and be happy than stress myself out, cut everyone off, and be at the top of my class.  I know that I'll have great options regardless and I'll be sucessful regardless.

LOL, u said u were looking to improve your reasoning earlier so lemme help u.  You're missing the pt.  of mine and Sands' responses.  I'm saying one thing and you are seeing quite another.  Not saying it is the #1 focus for everyone.  But I guess I'm assuming that if you are paying $ for legal ed, u wanna do well. Neither Sands nor I is saying that you can't date and if you do, u wont do as well.  No one is talking about balance. You should have balance in ur life, LS or otherwise.  Should be a goal. And I'm talking about stress the other way! And nowhere did I say that u personally will not be sucessful.  Not what the heck I was talking about but: Meeting a mate in LS should not be a focus period for a number of reasons.   I'm sorry but u are missing the point entirely.   ??? 

And "relationships in LS" regardless of the assumption could be what I just described. - just to help out the "reasoning"  ;) 

pikey

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Re: Dating & Relationships in Law School
« Reply #279 on: July 10, 2007, 09:43:35 AM »
It's not a matter of focusing on the wrong thing.  I think (hope) we all know that there's more to life than "him" or "her".  Most people who see the title "dating and relationships" would assume the thread is about dating and other types of non-platonic relationships, not about relationships with your mentor.

In addition, law school and future career simply isn't the number one focus for everyone.  Obviously it is for you, that's great, but it's also great that other people have other focuses.  I've seen too many people live hectic, career-dominated lives and I am determined that I will not be one of them.  I am all about the balance.  Law school and my career will be very important, but they will not be the be all and end all in my life.  Maybe I won't do as well as I could.  But I'd rather do ok and be happy than stress myself out, cut everyone off, and be at the top of my class.  I know that I'll have great options regardless and I'll be sucessful regardless.

LOL, u said u were looking to improve your reasoning earlier so lemme help u.  You're missing the pt.  of mine and Sands' responses.  I'm saying one thing and you are seeing quite another.  Not saying it is the #1 focus for everyone.  But I guess I'm assuming that if you are paying $ for legal ed, u wanna do well. Neither Sands nor I is saying that you can't date and if you do, u wont do as well.  No one is talking about balance. You should have balance in ur life, LS or otherwise.  Should be a goal. And I'm talking about stress the other way! And nowhere did I say that u personally will not be sucessful.  Not what the heck I was talking about but: Meeting a mate in LS should not be a focus period for a number of reasons.   I'm sorry but u are missing the point entirely.   ??? 

And "relationships in LS" regardless of the assumption could be what I just described. - just to help out the "reasoning"  ;) 

Maybe that's what you intend.  But it comes across quite differently.  Anyway, this is a stupid arguement.  You're gonna do you, I'm gonna do me, and hopefully we all do well.