The appropriateness of Perpetua would probably depend on the tone of the writing. When I used it, I (half playfully) thought the extra space made the words sort of resonate.
(and then, of course, there is my high-brow brand of intellectual humor).
By girlfriend, do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your d*ck every night?
In school, 1L grades really help deflate some egos.
If you stay away from the LSAT threads, I think it's better.
To be fair, lawyers and the practice of lawyering are not the most respected positions in our society. Generally speaking, people don't expect much character-wise from lawyers.
OP might have been talking about you...