I must say I am intimidated by others and their impressively horrific stories, to be fair I shall share mine not promising any glory:
-Show up test day pretty prepared, girlfriend got a little jealous of the LSAT so had to play the Tony Soprano role with her.......fine, if she wants to leave me I'll simply date the J.D. for 3yrs sure I'll get more out of that anyways....
Its hallway time. you know the drill, we have the entire demographics here:
(25% look like they stepped out of 8 LSAT prep courses, 25% look like they never opened a book in their life on LSAT, 40% of us look nervously ready, 10% look like they won't make it through the exam and brought razor blades)
Anyways I smile and make small talk, already two guys in the last emo-suicidal group are bonding talking about how insane standardized tests are and how the system is against them.....I wanted to ask if they were native american and their tribes were recently killed or which exactly system they were referencing but I figured I would get some Pink Floydian response (I do enjoy the music, not the fans though).....
So as we walk in, get fingerprinted, lift up our testicles you know that whole prison-routine thing, I start to hear a drilling.......no no, not like a vibrator....not quite like a dentist.....more like the type used to break open concrete....
The obsese female proctor giggles and I contemplate seducing her in the local bathroom and somehow ensuring my LSAT will have a 180 but then really figure its been done before and I hate being a follower....
Directions being read....I'm prepping mentally to attack the exam like a spider monkey.....test begins, yay!
All of a sudden as I am blazing through my cute reading comprehension section I heard an ear-shattering noise, is that an Iranian guided missile? is it the sound of 30,000 T-rexes from Jurassic park? Nope, just the construction workers on our ceiling drilling into the ground.........oh.....ok. That's cool?
We instinctively look up at our chubby goddess whom is either mentally masterbating or has a strange look of pleasure on her face, one a-hole demands this exam be canceled and she tenses up and leaves room to call God, or the LSAC.
continuing onward....last part of that RC section is now useless. She comes back in declaring we must go onward and the few & brave can appeal after the exam........a mutiny softly begins but they seem to have no balls or ovaries and it fades out quickly......
Sections more, break-time! yes!
We get our prison break of 5-10min and as we emerge trying to replenish our minds the construction workers decided to break too, they are sitting on the ground in the hallway narrating on our group:
"f***ing yuppies...law school, what the hell"
"think you are all bad huh..."
"oh wow, look at her, I'd like to take an exam in her all day long...think I'll pass?"
"look at that older one, I bet she'd like to see our drill"
Great. superb. Maybe though for the final sections we will be free to focus as all 99% of the other test-takers in the country have.....as I walk back in the emo-duo have fully decided that they failed already and one seems to tear-up and the other one holds him like its a scene in Saving Private Ryan......
Two final sections....by now they resumed drilling and its like chinese water torture no longer am I taking a test, I am simply attempting to endure the 4-5hrs in a single room while the ceiling splits open via drill from above...I focus then lose consciousness, focus and so on.....by the end, I see one guy start laughing....he proceeds to laugh until they ask him to step outside.
Liberation. Forms handed in. We emerge, the emo-duo make plans to die together or start a 80's tribute band declaring that evil forces made law school impossible. That 25% who never opened a book look the same, in-fact they seem like they are now just coming down from the hash or shrooms they ingested. The core 40% of us are shattered and maimed.
As we disband the construction workers walk by chuckling and ask us how our exam went.......one of my LSAT brethren turns and looks like Mel Gibson in BRAVEHEART, I hear another construction worker comment on the woman next to me:
"hey baby, you are a total MILF, I'd like to run a Boilermaker special on you (train), you into groups?"
I tell her to ignore him and in years she can deport him on false charges and sell his entire family to a hostel like in those movies (HOSTEL), she giggles and gives me her number. I throw it away with my law school hopes with a 149 that year.