Law School Discussion

Tell me your favorite lawyer jokes

SilentSwirl

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Tell me your favorite lawyer jokes
« on: April 05, 2007, 10:30:30 PM »
Well, go on. Tell me.

I want to always be the person with the BEST lawyer joke. Haha.

Hank Rearden

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Re: Tell me your favorite lawyer jokes
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2007, 11:33:37 PM »
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
        A: Senator.

Q: Whatís the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
        A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
        A: Your honor.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
        A: His partners.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
        A: His lips are moving.

Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
        A: Not enough cement.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
        A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
        A: Chelsea Clinton

Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one?
        A: Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titanic.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
        A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.

Q: Whatís the difference between a shame and a pity?
        A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, thatís known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, thatís a shame.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech>
        A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Hank Rearden

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Re: Tell me your favorite lawyer jokes
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2007, 11:36:12 PM »
Mark Twain notes...
"It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself."

Isn't it a shame how 99% of the lawyers give the whole profession a bad name.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Re: Tell me your favorite lawyer jokes
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2007, 01:57:58 AM »

why telling lawyer jokes is unproductive:

most lay people don't believe that they are jokes

and most lawyers don't think they are funny

SilentSwirl

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Re: Tell me your favorite lawyer jokes
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2007, 02:17:29 AM »
I <3 Hank. Thank you! Some I had heard, but several gave me a great chuckle. Hee hee hee..

Forest - Okay. I like lawyer jokes anyway.

More jokes please!