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Author Topic: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?  (Read 1242 times)

ljg

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Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« on: April 04, 2007, 09:00:00 PM »
Is it just me, or is anyone else having a really hard time explaining law school finances to their parents? My mother in particular is driving me nuts about possibly passing up scholarships to go to NYU. She doesn't understand why I would do that, and the size of the debt scares her- so, she brings out the "Jewish guilt" and makes me feel like I'm a 5 year old making a very bad decision. Consequently, I spend a good amount of time on the phone with my father, almost in tears and feeling like I'm financially irresponsible.

Keep in mind that my parents are not paying for law school- I can pay for about $100K from savings/investments, and will pay the other $90K with loans (assuming I go to NYU, which is crazy expensive).

An I alone here, or can you relate? How are you guys handling this?

LuvHurtz

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2007, 09:17:41 PM »
I understand exactly where you are coming from. My mom thinks I should take a full ride at a tier 4 before going to a top 25 law school. I just explain to her that she really doesn't understand how important law school selection is and that since I will be paying for school myself I would not make a decision without doing research and weighing all my options. After we discussed that she dropped it completely.

lindenksv

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2007, 12:05:16 AM »
My parents had HUGE issues as well. But when I put it into perspective and tell them how much I'm going to be making, it calms them down. I'm also lucky because of my top 3 choices, the one I liked the most gave me the most money. It's still a lot of debt, but I explain to them that all doors will be open to me this way and that I'll have a better chance of doing what I want. They're taking it ok.

ljg

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2007, 11:02:44 AM »
My parents had HUGE issues as well. But when I put it into perspective and tell them how much I'm going to be making, it calms them down. I'm also lucky because of my top 3 choices, the one I liked the most gave me the most money. It's still a lot of debt, but I explain to them that all doors will be open to me this way and that I'll have a better chance of doing what I want. They're taking it ok.

I think when I try to put it into perspective by talking about the money I'll be making post-graduation, it upsets my Mom even more. She thinks I'm forcing myself into a certain career path without thinking about the hours, quality of life, etc. Thing is, I already work at the largest Boston-based law firm, so it's not like I don't know what I'm getting myself into....I think she's concerned that I'm going to take on the debt and then graduate and decide I want to go into public interest right away. I AM interested in immigration law, but I also really enjoy my current job (I do REIT work), so I don't feel like I'm sacrificing anything...but I don't think she believes me when I tell her that!

marlinspike

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2007, 11:26:55 AM »
My parents are driving me nuts re: rankings. Just tell your mom this: I have relatives who are lawyers, one of them could have gone to UMich on scholarship but instead went to NYU full cost. I'm told that decision paid for itself withing 3 years out of law school
Gas: UMD, W&M ($$), Wake Forest, Emory, GW, GMU
Clutch: Michigan, Notre Dame, UVA, AU (yield protect?), Duke, BC (Michigan told me no on 6/13 - Thank you MI for being courteous and letting me know)
Brakes: Gtown.
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Hakuna matata

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2007, 12:02:49 PM »
Is it just me, or is anyone else having a really hard time explaining law school finances to their parents? My mother in particular is driving me nuts about possibly passing up scholarships to go to NYU. She doesn't understand why I would do that, and the size of the debt scares her- so, she brings out the "Jewish guilt" and makes me feel like I'm a 5 year old making a very bad decision. Consequently, I spend a good amount of time on the phone with my father, almost in tears and feeling like I'm financially irresponsible.

Keep in mind that my parents are not paying for law school- I can pay for about $100K from savings/investments, and will pay the other $90K with loans (assuming I go to NYU, which is crazy expensive).

An I alone here, or can you relate? How are you guys handling this?

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time explaining it to your parents- it's completely understandable.  It seems like you are better off than a lot of other people though, because you won't have to take out a full loan.  If you have $90k in debt after graduation, and you work at a big law firm (making $150k + bonuses), I'm sure you can pay off your loans in 3 years with plenty left over...  Then you could be free to do PI work.

My situation is kind of the opposite - I'm freaking out about the amount of debt I will be getting into (basically, $180k) and I'm looking at some of the lower ranked schools that offered me better money.  But my parents are pressuring me to go to the highest ranked schools that didn't offer me any money and they keep telling me that the debt will be manageable eventually.  I don't really see how, considering I want to clerk or work for the gov't instead of working at a firm.   We'll see about that...

I know the numbers are pretty shocking and daunting, but I guess you have to put it in perspective with the rest of your goals and think of it as a necessary investment.

marlinspike

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2007, 12:04:39 PM »
Is it just me, or is anyone else having a really hard time explaining law school finances to their parents? My mother in particular is driving me nuts about possibly passing up scholarships to go to NYU. She doesn't understand why I would do that, and the size of the debt scares her- so, she brings out the "Jewish guilt" and makes me feel like I'm a 5 year old making a very bad decision. Consequently, I spend a good amount of time on the phone with my father, almost in tears and feeling like I'm financially irresponsible.

Keep in mind that my parents are not paying for law school- I can pay for about $100K from savings/investments, and will pay the other $90K with loans (assuming I go to NYU, which is crazy expensive).

An I alone here, or can you relate? How are you guys handling this?

Hakuna, I don't know if you saw my last post about this, but Knut ist gut! Have you seen the Knut song? Also, I don't know if you you speak German, but if you do he has a podcast, blog, a morning show, and an afternoon show on RBB's website.

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time explaining it to your parents- it's completely understandable.  It seems like you are better off than a lot of other people though, because you won't have to take out a full loan.  If you have $90k in debt after graduation, and you work at a big law firm (making $150k + bonuses), I'm sure you can pay off your loans in 3 years with plenty left over...  Then you could be free to do PI work.

My situation is kind of the opposite - I'm freaking out about the amount of debt I will be getting into (basically, $180k) and I'm looking at some of the lower ranked schools that offered me better money.  But my parents are pressuring me to go to the highest ranked schools that didn't offer me any money and they keep telling me that the debt will be manageable eventually.  I don't really see how, considering I want to clerk or work for the gov't instead of working at a firm.   We'll see about that...

I know the numbers are pretty shocking and daunting, but I guess you have to put it in perspective with the rest of your goals and think of it as a necessary investment.
Gas: UMD, W&M ($$), Wake Forest, Emory, GW, GMU
Clutch: Michigan, Notre Dame, UVA, AU (yield protect?), Duke, BC (Michigan told me no on 6/13 - Thank you MI for being courteous and letting me know)
Brakes: Gtown.
(3.23 169)

ljg

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2007, 03:03:52 PM »
My parents are driving me nuts re: rankings. Just tell your mom this: I have relatives who are lawyers, one of them could have gone to UMich on scholarship but instead went to NYU full cost. I'm told that decision paid for itself withing 3 years out of law school

That's what I keep hearing from the attorneys I work with, but it's so hard to explain that to someone who isn't in the field....I keep getting, "But what if you want to have kids? Buy a car? Buy a house?". Gotta love moms.  ;)

[/quote]

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time explaining it to your parents- it's completely understandable.  It seems like you are better off than a lot of other people though, because you won't have to take out a full loan.  If you have $90k in debt after graduation, and you work at a big law firm (making $150k + bonuses), I'm sure you can pay off your loans in 3 years with plenty left over...  Then you could be free to do PI work.

My situation is kind of the opposite - I'm freaking out about the amount of debt I will be getting into (basically, $180k) and I'm looking at some of the lower ranked schools that offered me better money.  But my parents are pressuring me to go to the highest ranked schools that didn't offer me any money and they keep telling me that the debt will be manageable eventually.  I don't really see how, considering I want to clerk or work for the gov't instead of working at a firm.   We'll see about that...

I know the numbers are pretty shocking and daunting, but I guess you have to put it in perspective with the rest of your goals and think of it as a necessary investment.
[/quote]

I guess there's no winning, huh? Either way it's a hard sell- you want to go to the best school you got into and your parents are freaking about debt that they won't be responsible for, or you want to consider the money and your parents are upset that you aren't a prestige whore!!! I think you're on the right track, though, if you're looking to clerk or work for the government. I would be taking the scholarships in a hearbeat if I knew that was my plan.

Quail!

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #8 on: April 05, 2007, 03:09:49 PM »
My parents are encouraging me to go to the best school possible, even if a lower ranked school offers me significant money (i.e. SMU v. Cornell).  They do, however, know that money is more important if its something like Mich v. UVA with money (i.e., within the T14 more or less)


Though I've also reminded them that unless they want to help me pay for it, it's my choice and mine alone, so they shouldn't get on my case about it.
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ljg

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Re: Parents driving you nuts re: $$?
« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2007, 03:24:54 PM »
My parents are encouraging me to go to the best school possible, even if a lower ranked school offers me significant money (i.e. SMU v. Cornell).  They do, however, know that money is more important if its something like Mich v. UVA with money (i.e., within the T14 more or less)


Though I've also reminded them that unless they want to help me pay for it, it's my choice and mine alone, so they shouldn't get on my case about it.

Lucky guy. I wish my Mom listened to that logic. She doesn't see any difference between NYU and BC/BU/GW (not that it's all that huge of a difference, all are great schools, but still...)