I have jury duty tomorrow, I need excuses!

[christina]

Ok, I have to report to jury duty tomorrow. I will check this thread in the morning, hopefully some of you guys will have posted responses. I need a good excuse to not being able to serve. In my last jury duty, people said excuses to the extent of "No speek engleesh", "I'm a socialist" and "I think all criminals are innocent". From what I remember, the lawyers ask you "What prohibits you from actively serving on this jury" or something like that. I need a believable excuse. I was thinking of using the LSAT as an excuse, so they would have pity on my poor soul, I mean, they've all been there, right? Any other ideas?

[thechoson]

Say you have irritable bowel syndrome, and thus would have to excuse yourself every 30 minutes to *&^%, and so would be ahorrible distraction.

[lexylit]

umm, just do it?

it might be interesting. aren't you going to LS? i've always wanted jury duty purely out of curiosity

[Ginatio]

ummm... haven't you seen Runaway Jury? this is a golden opportunity to take control of those sumbitches and sell the verdict to the highest bidder. duh.

[thechoson]

ummm... haven't you seen Runaway Jury? this is a golden opportunity to take control of those sumbitches and sell the verdict to the highest bidder. duh.

This is yet another reason you are a tool.

[Ginatio]

ummm... haven't you seen Runaway Jury? this is a golden opportunity to take control of those sumbitches and sell the verdict to the highest bidder. duh.

This is yet another reason you are a tool.

care to elaborate?

[christina]

umm, just do it?

it might be interesting. aren't you going to LS? i've always wanted jury duty purely out of curiosity

Well, I just don't know how long the trial is going to be. I also need to take care of my car accident stuff, and its true, I really do need to study. If I didn't have so much stuff going on, I would love to do it. Last time I was called to report, they never even chose me, to my dismay. I would have loved to do it back then when I had a lot more free time.

[christina]

Say you have irritable bowel syndrome, and thus would have to excuse yourself every 30 minutes to *&^%, and so would be ahorrible distraction.

I dont think I could even say that without laughing.

[lexylit]

Well, I just don't know how long the trial is going to be. I also need to take care of my car accident stuff,

ok, then tell them the truth-- you were hit, you got a little whiplash, and you cant sit in a chair for very long

[Casper]

Since you can't lie, say that you have some preconcieved notions about the criminal justice system.

Or you can reschedule it, if you can.  I avoided serving 3 times, until they made me come in and pick a date in which I had to serve.  Either that or face a hefty fine.  Well, I served 3 days, basically sat there in jury pool, bored to death.  I selected to do criminal trial instead, since they will never pick me. 

Depending on crimminal or civil, I would reschedule or call in sick, if it's civil.  Civil cases are extremely boring.  The only way to get excused if you have been sued, or you have sued someone else on an issue similar to the case.

When I got selected to courtroom, I got excused, due to the fact that I knew the DA's Office inside and out.  I was the first one to leave.

When you get selected to crimminal, they will ask you if you have been victim of crime.  If you have, that's usually a good excuse to leave.  And you can act like an a-hole in courtroom, wear a cap to courtroom, bring your newspaper, both of this really pisses off the judges.  I've done that being an observer in the courtroom.

Hope that helps.  And damnit, I hate to serve jury duty.