Law School Discussion

Can you guys help me again with some advice about the pregnancy and baby?

My fathers wife doesn't work and has offered to take care of the baby and help out around the house for very cheap because she is excited to be "grandma". However, they live about a 40 minute comute away from the school. (Hastings)

The other option is living close to the school, maybe the tower and have my husband take off about six months from work since he is going to have to find a new job in the bay area anyway.

What do you think will make things easier, having my step-mother help out which will save us alot of money, but we'd have to live near them far away from the school, or would it be better to live close to the school but have my husband take off work?

What is option to you think would work out best?

I would move half way between school and the parents.  Best of both worlds and 20mins is not that bad.

iSalute

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I think having the parents' help is the best.

Cosigned.  My parents had this kind of arrangement with my grandparents when I was little, and when my brother came along, and I can honestly say that it was the absolute best thing.  Much better than day care with some stranger, and my brother and I (especially him, though) are still really close to my grandmother.  Having had that experience is what makes me very sad that I live several hours from my parents and probably will continue to do so when I'm married and have a family.  I wish my kids could have grandparents who are present and involved in their lives.

As long as you get along well with your parents and know that your stepmother isn't going to end up feeling taken advantage of or teaching bad habits to your little one, this seems like a great solution for you.  And 20 or 30 minutes for a commute really isn't that bad.

There's nothing wrong with getting help from your parents or stepmom, but would it have killed you to defer your acceptance for one year?  Is your child so unimportant that you just HAD to start law school? 

If you've already thought about this then fine.  For once I'm actually not in the mood to argue.

I have to agree that grandparents are usually a great choice for alternative childcare.I have several patients that are the grandparents that help and the relationship they have with the grandchildren is wonderful. I would have loved to have had this option for my children (now 9 and 17). For us it was daycare and private sitters. Which, they took very good care of my children but nothing compared to what my parents or my husbands parents could have done. If your husband decides to stay home for 6 months (which would be really great for bonding) what will you do after this? To me a long commute really means nothing because I am from the rual south and wherever I go is a long commute (even to Wal-Mart). If this was my decision to make, I would definetly go for the grandparents. :)

Lenny

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There's nothing wrong with getting help from your parents or stepmom, but would it have killed you to defer your acceptance for one year?  Is your child so unimportant that you just HAD to start law school? 

If you've already thought about this then fine.  For once I'm actually not in the mood to argue.

Its pretty clear that the poster already has thought about it since she gave a detailed listing of the pros and cons of the two options.  If you don't have anything nice, or constructive, or intelligent to say, take the advice of your own screen name.

1) I shouldn't have to read her previous posts to understand this post.  Nonetheless, even if I did, my position doesn't change.  Some of us actually value family and hold off on our own desires.  I mean seriously..  First year of law school AND raising a child?  Either the child will be neglected or she will fail our of school.  If you've ever raised a child you know why I say this.

2) You can't tell me to refer to my screen name.  That is my trademark.  Thank you.

juliemccoy

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Have her move in with you for the first 6 weeks. Live close to the school, or no more than 20 minutes away, as another poster suggested. After the six weeks, enroll your child in daycare or have grandma take care of him/her. The university may have some kind of child-care program. Grandparents are great, but the priority needs to be on 1L. Let your husband worry about the kid's arrangements, drop off and pick-up during this first year.

Really though, I really, really think you should defer for a year. 1L and Baby's First Year are two very critical things. If you were working and having a baby, it would be different. But 1L grades are just so important to your pending career. I think those will suffer. The baby comes first no matter what, as it should-- it is a baby!-- it's up to you, of course, but I really think you'll be better off in the long run waiting one more year to start law school.

Have her move in with you for the first 6 weeks. Live close to the school, or no more than 20 minutes away, as another poster suggested. After the six weeks, enroll your child in daycare or have grandma take care of him/her. The university may have some kind of child-care program. Grandparents are great, but the priority needs to be on 1L. Let your husband worry about the kid's arrangements, drop off and pick-up during this first year.

Really though, I really, really think you should defer for a year. 1L and Baby's First Year are two very critical things. If you were working and having a baby, it would be different. But 1L grades are just so important to your pending career. I think those will suffer. The baby comes first no matter what, as it should-- it is a baby!-- it's up to you, of course, but I really think you'll be better off in the long run waiting one more year to start law school.

What would the be so beneficial about waiting a year? I'd have to go back to work anyway and I just don't see the big difference between 1L and working full time in a hecktic, stressful job like mine. Maybe its because I don't have children yet, so I don't understand, but I just don't get it.