It's totally worth a whole thread

To be honest, I'm not really sure what is meant by "title", but I know that one the rec. forms I see on college applications and the ones I saw on grad. student applications, most of the people were putting professional postions...maybe they were all mistaken, now that I think about it...who knows.
Let's keep the thread going. What's the crappiest job title you've ever had?
I taught one class at this wierd school this summer and my OFFICIAL title was:
"Adjunct Visiting Assistant Professor of Chemistry"
How many crappy clarifiers do they need?!?!?!? I obviously was their last choice.