Law School Discussion

Long-distance relationship during law school

mugatu

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #50 on: March 01, 2007, 04:22:18 PM »

Up to and including 1 year, 9 months, theoretically.

In a perfect world, I'd give you this. However, I don't think that too many people are lining up to be with a girl as she starts to develop. Furthermore, this would imply that she got pregnant as a result of a one night stand or broke up with a BF immediately after conception. Neither of these would speak highly of her character. I tend to think that she and the OP met when the kid was four to six months old and have been seeing each other for six to eight months. If he had been around since the kid was born, he would already be Dad. I just want to point out that basing the rest of your life around someone you haven't known for a year is a risky proposition at best.

Please.

1. Accidents happen.
2. Maybe that's when she realized it wouldn't work.

Also, planning one's life around anyone is a risky proposition, no matter how long you know them.

Oddibemcd

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #51 on: March 01, 2007, 04:34:21 PM »

Up to and including 1 year, 9 months, theoretically.

In a perfect world, I'd give you this. However, I don't think that too many people are lining up to be with a girl as she starts to develop. Furthermore, this would imply that she got pregnant as a result of a one night stand or broke up with a BF immediately after conception. Neither of these would speak highly of her character. I tend to think that she and the OP met when the kid was four to six months old and have been seeing each other for six to eight months. If he had been around since the kid was born, he would already be Dad. I just want to point out that basing the rest of your life around someone you haven't known for a year is a risky proposition at best.

Please.

1. Accidents happen.
2. Maybe that's when she realized it wouldn't work.

Also, planning one's life around anyone is a risky proposition, no matter how long you know them.

This poor guy's going to come back to this thread and it will be a page and a half of our tete-a-tete. I'm not seeing the basis for your habitual optimism. All I can work with are the facts spelled out by the OP.
1) She has a kid.
2) He is not the father
3) She probably lives with her folks
4) She isn't able/willing to move with him
I don't see a lot here to inspire a great deal of confidence. Furthermore, he's the one worried about visiting. The time investment that he will make in the relationship will detract from his time studying and developing interpersonal relationships with his fellow students. If he is willing to forego these aspects of law school, he should be sure she is worth the opportunity costs.

mugatu

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #52 on: March 01, 2007, 04:41:49 PM »

Up to and including 1 year, 9 months, theoretically.

In a perfect world, I'd give you this. However, I don't think that too many people are lining up to be with a girl as she starts to develop. Furthermore, this would imply that she got pregnant as a result of a one night stand or broke up with a BF immediately after conception. Neither of these would speak highly of her character. I tend to think that she and the OP met when the kid was four to six months old and have been seeing each other for six to eight months. If he had been around since the kid was born, he would already be Dad. I just want to point out that basing the rest of your life around someone you haven't known for a year is a risky proposition at best.

Please.

1. Accidents happen.
2. Maybe that's when she realized it wouldn't work.

Also, planning one's life around anyone is a risky proposition, no matter how long you know them.

This poor guy's going to come back to this thread and it will be a page and a half of our tete-a-tete. I'm not seeing the basis for your habitual optimism. All I can work with are the facts spelled out by the OP.
1) She has a kid.
2) He is not the father
3) She probably lives with her folks
4) She isn't able/willing to move with him
I don't see a lot here to inspire a great deal of confidence. Furthermore, he's the one worried about visiting. The time investment that he will make in the relationship will detract from his time studying and developing interpersonal relationships with his fellow students. If he is willing to forego these aspects of law school, he should be sure she is worth the opportunity costs.

I see where you're coming from, but I'm not sure he'll forgo either of those things.  You can get a lot of work done in the week, and you see the same people over and over again.  Do you hang out sometimes on the weekend?  Sure.  Always?  No way.

Oddibemcd

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #53 on: March 01, 2007, 04:51:05 PM »

Up to and including 1 year, 9 months, theoretically.

In a perfect world, I'd give you this. However, I don't think that too many people are lining up to be with a girl as she starts to develop. Furthermore, this would imply that she got pregnant as a result of a one night stand or broke up with a BF immediately after conception. Neither of these would speak highly of her character. I tend to think that she and the OP met when the kid was four to six months old and have been seeing each other for six to eight months. If he had been around since the kid was born, he would already be Dad. I just want to point out that basing the rest of your life around someone you haven't known for a year is a risky proposition at best.

Please.

1. Accidents happen.
2. Maybe that's when she realized it wouldn't work.

Also, planning one's life around anyone is a risky proposition, no matter how long you know them.

This poor guy's going to come back to this thread and it will be a page and a half of our tete-a-tete. I'm not seeing the basis for your habitual optimism. All I can work with are the facts spelled out by the OP.
1) She has a kid.
2) He is not the father
3) She probably lives with her folks
4) She isn't able/willing to move with him
I don't see a lot here to inspire a great deal of confidence. Furthermore, he's the one worried about visiting. The time investment that he will make in the relationship will detract from his time studying and developing interpersonal relationships with his fellow students. If he is willing to forego these aspects of law school, he should be sure she is worth the opportunity costs.

I see where you're coming from, but I'm not sure he'll forgo either of those things.  You can get a lot of work done in the week, and you see the same people over and over again.  Do you hang out sometimes on the weekend?  Sure.  Always?  No way.

Agreed. Someone posted about train schedules. That would work well, study on the train and then do your thing. Driving will cut into his time. The OP didn't give much background. I'd be more positive if he has been in numerous relationships and new what worked and what didn't. If this is his first real GF, then I start to worry. And I hang out too much on the weekends.

Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #54 on: March 01, 2007, 05:10:53 PM »

Up to and including 1 year, 9 months, theoretically.

In a perfect world, I'd give you this. However, I don't think that too many people are lining up to be with a girl as she starts to develop. Furthermore, this would imply that she got pregnant as a result of a one night stand or broke up with a BF immediately after conception. Neither of these would speak highly of her character. I tend to think that she and the OP met when the kid was four to six months old and have been seeing each other for six to eight months. If he had been around since the kid was born, he would already be Dad. I just want to point out that basing the rest of your life around someone you haven't known for a year is a risky proposition at best.

Please.

1. Accidents happen.
2. Maybe that's when she realized it wouldn't work.

Also, planning one's life around anyone is a risky proposition, no matter how long you know them.

This poor guy's going to come back to this thread and it will be a page and a half of our tete-a-tete. I'm not seeing the basis for your habitual optimism. All I can work with are the facts spelled out by the OP.
1) She has a kid.
2) He is not the father
3) She probably lives with her folks
4) She isn't able/willing to move with him
I don't see a lot here to inspire a great deal of confidence. Furthermore, he's the one worried about visiting. The time investment that he will make in the relationship will detract from his time studying and developing interpersonal relationships with his fellow students. If he is willing to forego these aspects of law school, he should be sure she is worth the opportunity costs.

I think it's important to have a base outside of law school. You certainly don't need to spend every waking hour with your fellow students to develop friendships with your fellow students. There is plenty of time during the week to get things done and spend time with your friends. Most of the people I know in long-distance relationships (and I know a lot) spend plenty of time socializing with fellow law students. Those that aren't incredibly social are just that way naturally and wouldn't go out much regardless of whether they had a significant other.

JTG

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #55 on: March 01, 2007, 06:55:29 PM »
Guys, to answer your insulting questions, she's not a ho. I knew her when she got knocked up but no I was not dating her at the time. She didn't cheat on me. The dad skipped town and that was that. She decided to have the baby. I love her. It's that simple.

And fyi, she's not being demanding at all as mugatu said. I'm the one who said I want to visit her and she said that she loves me and that she will understand I can't visit a lot. I AM THE ONE THAT WANTS TO VISIT A LOT.

mugatu

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #56 on: March 01, 2007, 09:33:20 PM »
I think there's only one person asking insulting questions, and I think your dedication is admirable.

Did I say that she was being demanding?  I didn't mean to.

Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #57 on: March 02, 2007, 07:57:56 AM »
It's all about how you prioritize your time. Yes, the first year of law school is demanding, but studying is something you can do just about anywhere. If you want it to work, you can make it work. Like I said, I see my girlfriend every week, we like over 3.5 hours away, I have plenty of time to study, and I get good grades.

I'm not sure if these things have been addressed yet (I didn't read all of the former posts), but here are some suggestions.

1. Get law topics on cds and listen to them in your car. You can find cheap ones on ebay.
2. Can you guys meet half-way?
3. Is there any reason why she can't visit you?
4. Train? This little guy is exptremely helpful with my gf and me. And it's cheaper than driving, but takes longer. Also very easy to schedule online.
5. Talk it over with your gf and come to a mutual understanding regarding the expectations of law school. Make sure she understands that when you are together, you might be studying for a good chuck of the time. This was the hardest thing for my gf at first, but it's easily cured with lots of hugs and kisses and "I love you sweethearts."

Anyway, the long distance thing has not been a problem for us. In fact, it probably has made our relationship a bit stronger. Good luck.


JTG

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #58 on: March 02, 2007, 11:35:04 AM »
I think there's only one person asking insulting questions, and I think your dedication is admirable.

Did I say that she was being demanding?  I didn't mean to.

No sorry you misunderstood. I was saying that you(mugatu) was saying that she was NOT being demanding. Like, "she's NOT being demanding at all", as mugatu said.

Kittyl30

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Re: Long-distance relationship during law school
« Reply #59 on: March 04, 2007, 03:18:10 PM »
hey i currently have a long distance relationship now in law school. we are 4 hours apt (boston- NY) but its cheap (30 dollar greyhound) to visit each other and we actually do it alot. we see each other every other weekend. (except obv from thanksgiving- christmas didn't do it).  i am a lL. he is a 1L too and sometimes we study tog on the weekend. sometimes we don't.  however, i usually get back at a decent time on sunday to do alot of work.

i did well last semester, i was pleased and managed to see my bf a good amount. i think it only worked b/c he was in law school and understood my workload though and respected it.