SFLSD: Oh! The inhumanities.

[mugatu]

It doesn't!  I was more interested in CC anyway!

[goaliechica]

Also, Trader Joe's Tzatziki is delicious.

1. Truth

2. I am excited for Cady about Pat Benatar.

3. I was SUPER PRODUCTIVE about life/errand stuff today.

4. I now want those grey and orange shoes. I need some kind of hot interesting shoes to go with this dress that I bought!

5. Dash, to what extent can we harass you about hanging out? Like, you know, just for coffee or something

[dashrashi]

I am sorry.

Sadface.

In the ongoing effort to make you feel better, it was f-ing expensive. f-ing ticketmaster hidden fees et cetera. AND they were all like, TICKET MUST NOT BE EXPOSED TO LIGHT HEAT, WILL TURN BLACK AND BE INVALID. Like, wtf, ticketmaster, get some better f-ing ink.

I really love passionfruit. I ended up in Punta Cana last year for Christmas (Christmas 07) and it was at an all-inclusive which is normally kind of blech, I think, because you don't have the possibility of discovering the best place for pupusas or similar, but it was awesome because these guys had passionfruit at every meal! And also black beans and rice, so I had some f-ing fantastic lunches that were black beans and rice followed by a shitload of passionfruit. And in the mornings, I got to stick ACTUAL PASSIONFRUIT in my PASSIONFRUIT FLAVORED YOGURT. DECADENT I TELL YOU.

In related news, I'm eating Rachel's Exotic Mango Pineapple Passionfruit yogurt and it's quite good.

In Rachel-related news, go here:
http://www.sundancechannel.com/lazy/greenover/
And then on the right, third one down, "Lazy College Student"? THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND SINCE I WAS 2. (Even though she's a grad student, which she says and they just gloss over, since we both look 14, and it's not believable that either one of us is in grad school.)
Isn't she adorbs? Also, gratuitous ass shot at the end. I tell you, you live in LA for long enough, you end up in front of the camera.

Also, Trader Joe's Tzatziki is delicious.

1. Truth

2. I am excited for Cady about Pat Benatar.

3. I was SUPER PRODUCTIVE about life/errand stuff today.

4. I now want those grey and orange shoes. I need some kind of hot interesting shoes to go with this dress that I bought!

5. Dash, to what extent can we harass you about hanging out? Like, you know, just for coffee or something

Okay, so for realsies, I have wanted to suggest something for like two weeks now, but you were away and then I felt awkward. Can we do something? My buddy from college is coming out Thursday, and then the bf, but I am SURE that my bf would love to meet my internet friends, and then my parents. That would be harder to explain. I would probably get the online-predator lecture from my mother. I DIDN'T MEET THEM IN AN AOL TEEN CHATROOM MOM, GOD.

[mugatu]

Am I invited?   

::big friendly smiles so as to minimize any inherent trepidation::

I mean, Goals met me at a bar (in our hood!)  We could just keep doing that.

[goaliechica]

Getting to meet the dash man-friend would be super exciting.

Yeah! Okay, let's PM! w00t!

::sucks at scheduling::

[dashrashi]

YES. EVERYONE EVER IS INVITED.

I got hit on at Nick's Crispy Tacos yesterday, because UNBEKNOWNST TO ME it was polk st. pub crawl and it was all of these people that I would swear, SWEAR, were from New Jersey. But apparently not.

And the only place to sit was at the counter, which, fine, but then someone sat next to me, and it was like, um. Sigh. Okay. And so I am BEING polite, kind of, but damn if he wasn't super Jersey, and like, not to be some snotty a-hole, but he thought law school was 8 years, and it turns out he was including 4 years of college. [eta: @#!*, I sound snotty. *&^%. I don't know. I think he was younger than me, also, quite possibly. Also he was in the Coast Guard? I REALLY AM NOT SNOTTY. I just don't meet a lot of people these days that see 4 years of college as, like, extra schooling. NOT THAT I DISLIKE PEOPLE WHO SEE IT THAT WAY. I like them just fine so long as we agree in other respects. See infra re tort reform. Oh *&^%, spoiler.]

[squints]

ANYWAY, so I am spilling taco juice all over my bag (not a euphemism, although holy god, it's a disgusting one), and I just can't take it anymore, I've tried all my lines about how I love criminal defense because I love criminals, especially wife beaters, and he WON'T SHAKE. So finally, I've decided to become a lesbian, and I throw in something about how when I first started doing this, what, two years ago now, my girlfriend was all, can't you do something noncontroversial like abortion or women's rights? And finally, last week, I told her about my 90 pound client up for assault w/ a deadly weapon (A STRIKE) over some bull little thing with a pair of craft scissors, and she was like, you know what, that's bull, @#!* it, I'm proud of you.

Which is a conversation I did have, recently. But it was with my mother. So in my head, my girlfriend is a combination of the bf (length of relationship, etc.), my mother (conversations I have with her), and my BUDDY RACHEL THE LAZY COLLEGE STUDENT (name, if it came to that).

And he barely f-ing notices, the idiot.

So THEN he's like, you know, I used to want to be a judge, to deal with those lawsuits.

[Hmm.]

You know, some of those lawsuits, just...throw 'em out.

[oh my god, he's trying to pick me up using TORT REFORM.]

[Buddy is BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE. See, e.g., my favorite professor ever, Jon Hanson, who spends two plus weeks, in Torts, on the myth of Tort Reform and how it serves large corporate and right wing interests.]

[After I told him I had a GIRLFRIEND.]

[Not Jon Hanson. This fool.]

So I settle in, thinking--this is going to be fun.

"Y'know, I'd really want to be the judge on one of those cases, like, guy breaks into a house and stabs himself on a kitchen knife and then sues, just, just throw it out."

Cue me: "You know, it's complicated though, because you can't just be the judge for cases like that, you also have to be the judge for cases where a 75 year old retired woman is permanently disabled by 3rd degree burns over 60% of her body because McDonalds serves its coffee 20 degrees hotter than the industry standard, even though they know there have been other injuries, just because they don't want to pay to recalibrate their machines or retrain their staff. You have to be the judge for that case, too, so it's complicated."

...

"Uh, well, I, uh, I mean, you order coffee, you kind of expect...uh..."

"Well, I don't know that anyone really expects coffee 20 degrees hotter than the industry standard, which is the difference between 2nd degree, non-permanently-disabling burns, and 3rd degree, permanently disabling burns, especially when the company already knows about the problem and refuses to do anything about it."

...

"Uh..."

And by this time, I've finished, so I hop down, and say, "Nice talking to you."

I'm trying to decide whether to email Hanson about the HILARIOUSNESS of someone trying to pick up a student of his with TORT REFORM.

[mugatu]

omg HA

[goaliechica]

Okay. f-ing, OKAY.

My iphone is doing this thing that, from googling about, I gather other people's iphones have done. Where it thinks headphones are plugged in when headphones are not plugged in. And cleaning it out with windex and a q-tip (as recommended by the internetz) didn't work. Restarting many times didn't work. It's all screwed up and you can't actually use it properly as a phone at all. So I plugged it in and was going to do a reset everything or whatever and it said "install new iphone software?" So I said yes, go for it. SO NOW IT STILL THINKS THE HEADPHONES ARE PLUGGED IN WHEN THEY'RE NOT, BUT IT THINKS THAT IN GERMAN. OR SOME *&^%.

Wait, oh my god, everything is now in German or some *&^%. AND it still thinks the headphones are plugged in. Or, rather, "ringesignal (hovedtelefoner)", as my phone would now have it.

WHAT.

THE.

@#!*.


And mind you, I was a curmudgeon about my iphone when it still basically worked.

daflkdj;lfajdsl;kfajfd

[dashrashi]

hahahaha.

sorry. I have a nano, but it's in English.

[This is wrong.]

In Rachel-related news, go here:
http://www.sundancechannel.com/lazy/greenover/
And then on the right, third one down, "Lazy College Student"? THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND SINCE I WAS 2. (Even though she's a grad student, which she says and they just gloss over, since we both look 14, and it's not believable that either one of us is in grad school.)
Isn't she adorbs? Also, gratuitous ass shot at the end. I tell you, you live in LA for long enough, you end up in front of the camera.

She gets two lecherous thumbs up from this elephant seal.