3rd LOR: could it hurt more then it helps?

[Maryanne007]

itd be best if you could use the lor.  i mean 4 years of working for a place should render a decent letter.. like the other posters have said, is there no way you can somehow see this letter?

how many negatives do you really think there can be?  i mean is she spiteful that she would say she would gladly do it and then write bad stuff?

just a sidenote, i had a college rec where my debate coach said that i often didnt win many competitions, but i tried really hard anyway.. which was a negative since she just had a bad memory and on my app i had dozens of debate awards listed... and someone once said it may not be so bad if negatives are mentioned as long as the positives greatly outweigh, cause then the rec seems more genuine.. it sounded like bull to me, but just a thought.  good luck. 

[casino]

i like the idea of saving the third rec in case of a possible waitlisting.  any thoughts on this?

casino

[dr_draino]

I'd really advise against doing this with your boss.  I've heard too many horror stories.  The route that all my MBA buddies took was to get a collegue or someone they trusted that wasn't their direct supervisor to write one and swear them to secrecy within the firm.

Is there any way at all you can get your hands on that LOR so you can actually see what was written? I know you're not technically supposed to do that, but in the big scheme of things, does it really matter? It's not like you're writing the LOR yourself and then faking your boss's signature. I mean, the LOR has already been written and sent. What would be the harm in asking to see what she wrote? Personally, I would never consider dropping the LOR without first looking at it. What if it was a stellar LOR?

Also, despite what TDPookie said about adcomms understanding that some employees can't afford to let the cat out of the bag at work a year in advance, if you did *not* include a LOR from your current employer, I think it'll look odd and you'd have some explaining to do in an addendum. In my case, I've been out of school for 5 years and working at the same company this whole time. I agonized about what to do for the longest time but ultimately decided that I had to take a risk. I think adcomms will find it questionnable if I don't have a LOR from my employer of 5 years, and unlike you, I don't have anybody better to turn to.

That said, I'm planning to have "The Talk" with my boss right after Labor Day and I'm  completely terrified. But that's another story!   

[nathanielmark]

ive had 2 different jobs during the 4 years, and i mention in my resume that there was a merger at my current job.  so its been only 2 years and less then a year with current boss.  i think im going to dump it.  it doesnt seem like it would matter much since schools generally say they want 1 from a prof, which i have.  the other one is what a great volunteer teacher i am, i dont think that will hurt either.