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Author Topic: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?  (Read 17394 times)

euphrasie

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Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« on: October 28, 2006, 03:16:58 PM »
My husband and I both work for Microsoft. We have three kids, ages 6, 6, and 8 (technically my kids from a prior marriage, but it's a real technicality at this point). My job will allow me to telecommute from anywhere in the country while in LS and I am applying to part-time programs so I can take classes in the evening.

Here's the rub. There is exactly one PT program in my state at Seattle. It's T2 but barely and, honestly, I sat in on a class and didn't see many really smart students in the class. I was understanding the subject matter better than they were and I hadn't even read the relevant case. I really want to be challenged by other smart people in LS, so that concerned me.

I've applied to 7 schools and 6 of them are out of state (east coast). My husband's job won't let him telecommute and he isn't interested in changing jobs. We own a home we love here in the Seattle area. If I go to LS there, he will stay here. We're not sure how to handle the kids because life is MUCH more stable here with the house/nanny/their school but it would be very tough to be away from them during the school year.

Is anyone else hitting the same issue? It's a tough one.
Married: Seattle 2011!
Love: Fordham PT, Seton Hall PT, USF PT, Seattle PT, Lewis & Clark PT, USD PT
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tzip

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2006, 04:00:16 PM »
i cant get in your shoes, and am not even going to try. it seems like leaving would be very difficult, perhaps even not worth it. moving away from your husbands, walking away from your house, making your kids change schools/friends...is it obvious for your husband as well that the kids will come with you? if the first priority is law school and successeding in it, and you're thinking about making such painful sacrifices, it makes more sense for you and the kids, if they stayed behind with your husband. either way, it seems like a HUGE sacrifice to make just to go for a higher ranked school, even significantly higher, and i cant imagine trying to make that decision. in fact, i can only assume that i wouldn't and just give up on law school or go for the local one. im not calling you to do that obviously, its just that by leaving it seems like you're giving up things that people go to law school to get (good job, nice house) and of course, the family unit. its tough

queencruella

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2006, 04:12:15 PM »
I don't know that it's all that uncommon to move away for LS. I know of at least one 1L and one 2L at my school who are doing this. As for the kids issue, one is watching a child and it works out pretty well for them. However, this is a FT school so he's able to spend time with her after he gets done with class and she realizes that he needs to study. I am not sure how it would work with younger children with a part-time program. I imagine with a part-time program, you wouldn't have Friday classes and could go home sometimes on the weekends.

flyaway

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2006, 07:29:50 AM »
I'm married, but with no kids.  Luckily, his current job will allow him to telecommute.  If, for some reason, things change between now and then (like if he gets a promotion), we've talked about my going somewhere within driving distance, so that we can at least see each other on the weekends.  I don't think I'd move further than that, because long-distance SUCKS.  We did that before we were married and hated it.

How far is UW from Seattle?  Is that a possibility?  I know it's a good school... don't know if they offer PT.

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chancer

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2006, 10:38:23 PM »
How far is UW from Seattle?  Is that a possibility?  I know it's a good school... don't know if they offer PT.

UW is on the North-End of Seattle, and they do not offer an evening program.  Also, and though they are in my top 3, the law school looks like a prison and is a bit isolated.

Euphrasie, was it Seattle U that you visited?

jacy85

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2006, 10:49:51 PM »
Here's something to consider before moving 3000 miles away from your family:  There is a mere ONE class difference between full time and part time for most schools.  If you read some posts on the student and graduate board from PT 1Ls, life sucks.  The ones working any time at all seem pretty miserable, especially when half of their classmates in the PT program aren't working at all.

And did you have any conversations with the students at the T2?  Or did you just sit in on a class?  Judging an entire room of 1Ls based on how smart they sounded in class is fairly ignorant and really judgmental.  Law students will tell you that the smartest people in the room (with the grades to back it up) typically don't speak up in class, and often times don't come across in class in such a way that really demonstrates how well they know what's going on.  Also, do you have any idea when their last legal writing assignment was due?  Odds are, if it was within 3 or 4 days of the class you sat in on, many were unprepared for that reason.

And why are 6 of the 7 schools you applied to on the EAST coast?  Seems like you're trying to get as far as possible from your family.  Totally acknowledging that I'm being judgmental here myself, but it seems to me that there are some priorities that may be very out of wack, since you will barely see your husband and children for FOUR YEARS, with the short exception of Christmas (cause you likely won't have the time to fly across the country for the 4 or so day break for Thanksgiving) and summers.  It sounds like they're really getting a sh*tty deal out of this.

euphrasie

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2006, 12:05:09 AM »
I know quite a few students at Seattle U and it just hasn't impressed me. It's T2, barely. I'm not trying to be harsh about the school, but I don't think it's where I want to be. UW is in Seattle and it's a very good school but offers no PT program and, sadly for me, really puts a lot of stock into one's undergrad GPA. I likely can't get in.

As for the distance factors, I'd be happy to apply to a good school within a few hours drive but there are none. Seattle U and UW are the only decent schools within ANY driving distance, even a huge one. It's a vastly different situation than many other students face geographically. So, once I remove them from my list (I am still applying to Seattle U), there are only schools that require a plane ride left. At that point, there is really no reason to stick close to WA. I prefer the East Coast to anywhere else other than Seattle, which is why I am applying there.

I can afford to fly home once or twice a month, for holidays, and for summers. I'm not sure how much time I'd really have to spend with ANYONE working full-time and attending law school anyway. So, it seems a reasonable sacrifice to make. I was curious to see whether anyone else is doing the same.

I'm a little surprised by the judgements and assumptions being made here. Then again, it's the Internet so I shouldn't be that surprised.
Married: Seattle 2011!
Love: Fordham PT, Seton Hall PT, USF PT, Seattle PT, Lewis & Clark PT, USD PT
Like: W&M
Hate: Georgetown PT, Harvard

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dbgirl

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2006, 12:06:17 AM »
I would NEVER leave my family for that long.
It wouldn't cross my mind.
When you have somebody dying because they are poor and black or poor and white or because of whatever they are ... that erases everything that's great about this country.

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jacy85

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2006, 12:13:00 AM »

I'm a little surprised by the judgements and assumptions being made here. Then again, it's the Internet so I shouldn't be that surprised.

I'm shocked that you're surprised.  Leaving your husband and children behind and going 3000 miles away for 4 years is likely to be considered by many as extremely selfish and harmful to everyone involved.

Best of luck with that (the realist in me thinks you're going to need it)

laurrk

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Re: Married and... moving away from your spouse for LS?
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2006, 12:29:50 AM »
I'm not married, and I don't have kids, but I'm going to throw in my two cents anyway.

I'm a 1L at Syracuse, and my boyfriend of three years is back home in Connecticut. I went to Syracuse for a number of reasons, one of which was because I wanted to go to the best school that gave me a big scholarship. Now that I am here I regret my decision to move away from him. We had lived together for over two years, and I miss coming home to have dinner with him. Instead of seeing each other every day, we see each other every other weekend.

I know I can't handle this separation for all three years. I think I am going to try to transfer to a school back in CT or western Mass so I can move back home and enjoy life again. I am very homesick for my family. Part of it is because I hate law school and most likely do not want to practice law, but then again it is very difficult to be away from your family. I know of couples who manage to survive a separation during grad school, but it is hard.