Dsong, you are probably having some issues. Itís a transitional time in your life. You recently turned 30, I believe. You took LSAT, was thinking of Law School. You got into Stern, thinking of B School. Decided not to, so now you have taken a new job. You are searching for something, something that will give you fulfillment and advancement in your own life, while making your family happy as well. Yet you keep thinking or worrying you are coming up short, that despite the good job and the good pay, you still arenít happy. I mean, *&^%, thereís more to life than this, right? Iím sure this is what you are thinking, and itís depressing you at certain points.
Maybe you thought taking this new job was going to make you happier, that it might provide some answers, but it seems as though you still have issues, and itís making things hard on you.
I think you are having a bit of an early mid life crisis. You are probably thinking, damn, is this it? Is this life? The daily grind, the boring drudgery. And to make it worse, there is that sense of damn, this is what Iím bringing my kid into? This kind of life, and what if I donít have time for him? Is he gonna eventually have friction with me like I do with my own parents?
Maybe all this is going through your mind. Hang in there, hyungnim. There was this saying I heard once, in Korean. In Sang, guh gut byur gut ah ni ya. Meaning life, it ainít that complicated. Remember that life so rarely has a rainbow at the end of the storm. Instead, itís like a constant cloud hanging over you. You have to grind it out and grind it out some more, and live for the little moments of light and happiness that come on a daily basis. And eventually, you will find your way, and one day you will have all the answers and you will realize, damn, ln Sang, guh gut byur gut ah ni nae.
Chin up, Dsong. Stop being so depressed. Or maybe Iím just talking out of my ass.