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Author Topic: Personal Statement Topic- Input Please  (Read 1721 times)

swifty

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Re: Personal Statement Topic- Input Please
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2004, 01:20:05 AM »
Hi,

Good job.  I like your draft.  I can certainly relate to some of the encounters you mentioned.
 
There are a lot of good things to say about your PS and perhaps also a lot of potential (constructive) criticisms.  However, I'll just mention a few.

I finished your PS still teetering on what it is that you equate with education.  Yes, you say "I have found that education is best equated with an enlightened mind and a better understanding of one’s self."  Is this compatible with your parents' notion of education as money and success?  Which educational ideal do you most subscribe to?  If it's the ideal of enlightenment, you have not convinced me of that yet.

You wrote: "There are many reasons that I want to study law, but all of these reasons stem from my belief that a legal education will help define the world for me in the same way that the English dictionary helped me to define the world to my parents."

Now that's interesting!!  This association between that dictionary and your career ambitions may be something you want to write about in more detail.  If you fear that this elaboration would be too long, do not hesitate to delete the more formulaic "..meet the challenges... explore the opportunities..." phrases.

My comments would have been similar to sluan.  One thing you could change if you want to is "used text books that could not be sold."  That may imply they are worthless to you, so you could say "may favorite textbooks from college" or "my old textbooks that were too priceless to sell."
And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply" So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why. He said "You look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do.  So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!"Sign, sign, everywhere a sign..

sluan

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Re: Personal Statement Topic- Input Please
« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2004, 03:06:44 AM »
swifty - are you endorsing a little distortion of the truth?  It's discouraging to realize that my personal statement would have to compete with well-shaped fiction.  Well, who never said that life and fiction are ...
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sluan

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Re: Personal Statement Topic- Input Please
« Reply #12 on: August 30, 2004, 03:09:21 AM »
 :)
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