So this was early morning, I figured I'd stop by a small trendy cafe and buy some french toast. They make them just how i like it. Soft, fluffy, and made with love. The waitress asked me if I wanted sausage with that . . . I was like naw chill.
So my mouth was salivating . . . ready to dive in that french toast. So my meal was ready and before I can take my first bite . . this old lady comes at me and tells me to get up. I'm like huh . . what? She says im sitting in her favorite seat. And she said something about tradition. I think a relative of hers owns the place. This lady looks like Sophia from Golden Girls so I decided to be a gentleman . . .I was like "Yo I dunno about all that . . . I was here first." So I start choppin down on my French Toast breakfast and I look up and there she is . . . . . she's standing waiting in front of me while I eat. I burst out laughing . . . I couldnt help myself.
So later that day, I was walking with this chick by the promenade and she was telling me about the party we're about to go to. She sound like she had her head together. She plans on going to Columbia or NYU law school. She was very stiff though. She came off as a very serious type of person to me. She was telling me how she converted to vegan, and I was like I'm semi-vegan. So we had a lot to talk about. We talked about a lot of stuff like gentrification to what she looks for in a man and stuff while the sun was setting. We started talking about the party, and I told her I dont drink, and she was like it's ok its not that kind of party. So I was like damn . . . this chick got it going on. He breath smelled like fresh happy stawberries. Like she just ate some exotic orchids or something.
So I followed her to the party at Brooklyn Heights. I was just chillin at this party right . . . and the DJ started playing some Beastie Boys and Gangstarr . . . I was like "Awww yeah!!!" I was a little worried because I thought the DJ was going to play some paprika music. And Victor aint having that.
Anyway, I was just maxing out and whatever and all of a sudden this same girl I was chilling with started chugging back some beers . . . one after the other. She started to wil' out. This wasnt the same gentle soul I was sharing stories with by the promenade. Its like she transformed to the Ultimate Warrior or something. We were at the backyard and I was like ok maybe it's time for me to leave. And then out of nowhere this same girl I was chillin with went up and kicked this dude off a hammock for no reason. The whole crowd was laughing, I'm the only one who thought that was foul. Dude kept falling trying to get up and the crowd laughed more.
I took the subway home and decided I'm not chillin with girls who drink anymore. I hope she doesnt bother calling me.