Get a sense of humor, Susan B. Anthony!
I'm going to cut a female dog. With a knife with a brown handle, natch.
Don't judge me. You've not had my life.
Don't forget to toss in a law and order reference, and how Jack McCoy is the bestest prosecutor ever, and how the original show is much better than all the others, with SVU coming in at a close second (and the only reason it's second is because they spend less time discussing compelling legal issues. And, of couse, it doesn't have McCoy)