Forget US News. Prepare to be enlightened by my flawless reasoning. I'm not even going to charge you $15.
1. Harvard - top LSAT scores, and even if you graduate at the bottom of your class you can still be a pretentious bastard
2. Yale - the grading system really pisses me off, still an excellent school though
3. Chicago - the site of the first controlled nuclear reaction gives Chicago a boost over Stanford, just watch out for the radiation
4. Stanford - not much to say, but I don't think it should be mentioned in the same class as Harvard and Yale
5. Columbia - no, New York is not the center of the universe
6. NYU - you can always hit on the fashion design majors between your law school classes
7. Michigan - best place to watch over-hyped, mediocre football (unless Ohio State is coming to town)
8. Virginia - best bet is to wait outside a frat house throwing a party and offer a ride home to some extremely drunk sorority girl
9. Cal - loses the tie-break with UMich and UVa because of the hippies, the damn dirty hippies...In the immortal words of Eric Cartman "They say they want to save the world, but all they do is smoke drugs and smell bad."
10. Georgetown - from what I've read in the Starr report, those D.C. interns can get pretty crazy
11. Penn - gets way too much love from US News, and Donovan McNabb stinks
12. Northwestern - gets the edge over Duke because soccer girls hazing was much, much cooler than lacrosse rape
13. Duke - on the plus side, if you can fit it into your busy schedule, I hear the lacrosse team has a few open spots
14. Texas - if law school gets too tough, they have a big clock tower where you can take out your frustrations...great stress relief
15. Cornell - red-headed step child of the Ivy League...all this means is you can watch a bunch of privileged white kids attempting to play sports
Feel free to leave comments*
*This post was in jest, but if you have not figured that out by now, maybe you should rethink law school
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