can guys and girls really be "just friends"???

[ASNetlenov]

Naterator-

I thought you said that you did not spend that much time on LSD, thus you had not learned the acronyms. Looks like you are done already.

Back to the topic:

This was discussed by the more recent group a while ago. Nole in particular had some thoughts on this subject.

[ASNetlenov]

Yes, although a tad challenging if attracted to each other.

My personal opinion is that you usually have one of the friends chasing the other. This can work, but it not the optimal choice. Having said that, it is better to be chased than doing the chasing when friends start getting involved.

[ccorsi]

I'm too lazy to read all the previous pages - so if I am being redundant I apologize in advance.

If we are talking about 2 heterosexual men and women of about equal looks - the answer is no.

From the woman's perspective she may think it is possible, but they are wrong as the man will always at some level think he may have a shot at the next level.

For further clarification rent When Harry met Sally.  Obviously they are NOT of about equal looks, but it explains the man's perspective quite well.

C2

[ASNetlenov]

I don't know Asnet.  I have had female friends whom I was attracted to and likely vice versa.  Usually both parties kind of "know it" and if for whatever reason they can't take it to the next level, just opt for the next best thing....because they care for one another.

I did not say that it cannot work because it can. My point was that some tension is usually there though the parties may not recognize it.

[ASNetlenov]

well I agree there.  EDIT: But i wouldn't always characterize the tension as negative. 

I would not make that characterization either.

[Trancer]

They can be friends, but someone always wants more... usually the guy.  The circumstances in which it works best is explained by the Ladder Theory. It can be found here:
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/

[social drinker]

I am always friendly when I offer a girl a bagel, coffee in a cup I don't care to get back, and show her the door in the morning.

[Perversely]

CAn cats and dogs ever just be friends?

Now having said that, straight from the DULL column, I find it much easier to be friends with girls who are not physically attractive to me (non-Koreans come to mind)

Also, I usually find with girls I know or talk to , if the attraction does not come within like a week or less, then I NEVER get it, no matter how close we get

then you NEVER GET IT?  sounds like you're not working it hard enough!

[steve23ucsb]

Reasonably attractive guys and girls cannot be just friends.

[Perversely]

this is just my theory on girls & guys being friends:

there's ALWAYS an attraction of some kind.

rarely can a boy befriend a woman & not want to pork her, if he's not gay.  being gay or a lesbian is a big disclaimer, then neither party would want the opposite sex.

if a guy has a friend who's a girl and he's NOT gay, he's thinking how he wants to pork her.  after they pork, if they were friends before that long enough, they will probably remain friends if it doesn't work out.

HOWEVER, if a girl has a friend who's a guy and she wants him something badly, then she'll probably get him (if he's not TOTALLY flamming & granted she's not totally a dog.)  & even then, her looks may not matter if the wind is blowing the right direction that day.

the thing is, men are typically game for sex, while women can build up to it, if the guy knows how to 'play the right music'.

every girl has got the 'right song'.

so if you're a guy and want a girl who's your friend to "like, like you..."then, i think the best thing you can do is, "play her song".  "her song" is what she wants.  give her the best of you...whatever that is.  make her believe you're the knight in shinning armour & you can dance her off her feet until the morning sun shines through...