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Author Topic: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?  (Read 3021 times)

queencruella

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2006, 03:49:10 PM »
I posted something here a few minutes ago, but took it down cause it was a little personal.....


I dont see anthing wrong w/parents paying tuition IF they are in a position to help, and most importantly, IF they have taught the child the value of $$ and how to manage it.

The biggest problem I see w/kids whose parents pay for everything is that they do not respect or understand what they have. THAT is the most irritating part.



I agree. My parents were great to me in UG and paid, but I was very good at staying within a budget. On the other hand, my sister went to a school that cost about 3x as much and was jetsetting all over the place and my parents still paid for her. I don't really think that's good for children at all, because my sister's just finishing grad school now and has no clue how to manage money at all.

thenextstep

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2006, 04:01:43 PM »
I'll admit it is frustrating to see people whose families can send them to fancy schools from birth through grad/prof degrees, but it's not really the student's fault that they were born into that privilege.  I do get angry with the ones who flaunt it or don't really have a grasp of how lucky they are.  How do you get to a place where you have that attitude?

I was always expected to pay for most of my school with scholarship money (also some of my own income and loans), going to a school we couldn't afford to pay cash to attend wasn't an option and even the state schools were too expensive without scholarship.  I've been really blessed by the opportunities I've had to get good scholarships (I worked hard for them, but plenty of people work just as hard or harder and don't get the kind of money I have; so I know I'm lucky).  But law school would NOT happen if tuition wasn't paid by scholarship.  Loans of that magnitude are not an option for my career path and no one in my family can help. 

BigRig

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2006, 04:07:26 PM »
While this post is likely to raise controversy and I'll agree that it is generalizing, I think it is worthy of at least some consideration. At least from what I've seen thus far, many of the minority scholarships, grants, aid that are supposedly allocated for minority groups that otherwise would have been excluded from a professional education seem to go to a cross-section of those minority groups that is actually upper-middle class, if not more well to do. It seems to me that these funds/aid should be more directly tied to one's socioeconomic status and particular background rather than stated race alone.  I say stated as I know several people who've essentially lied and gotten away with claiming minority status. I am surely in support of these programs, just pointing out what I perceive to be an increasing problem with these programs.

Also, in fairness just because one parent makes a lot of money, doesn't mean that a student from a divorced family has any financial access/ties to that parent. Of course, if he/she does and the connection is not taken into account, the system is being cheated.
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DougLlewellyn

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2006, 05:24:58 PM »
I appreciate the honesty in this thread and the posts have been very thoughtful, but I am surprised by the anger and jealousy.  My parents wrote the checks to pay for their three children to attend college.  I am curious as to why this would, in and of itself, inspire any ill will.   I honestly don't remember spending much time concerning myself with the finances of my friends or other students at my university.  Sure, I thought it was ironic that people were blowing their need based grant and subsidized loan money on ski trips while I was on a tighter budget.  But I didn't get mad about how some middle and seemingly upper-middle class students were wasting taxpayer money.  Getting mad over any of this stuff is a complete waste of energy and a needless distraction.

Some on here think that families with the means to cover these huge tuition bills are somehow removed from the reality and challenges associated with financing higher education.  While I don't doubt that some truly cannot relate to different challenges, others are simply one generation ahead of where most people on this board will be.  To cite a personal example, my father (a Jamaican immigrant) worked his way through college in the late 1950's and continued to live in his crowded family home in the Bronx while attending Columbia Law School (the school closest to home).  My parents decided early to do all they could to create access to a broader range of educational options.  I recognize that I had more opportunities and priviledge than most, but I also implicitly understand that my parents will be paid back in full only when I provide in the same way for my children.  Again, I wonder why parental support would motivate feelings of resentment. 

On a different note, I also find it remarkable that people seem to know so much about their friends' and neighbors' finances and what was on their damn FAFSA.  I tried to think back to my own high school and college friends to see if I could recall if any of them were engaged in the same sort of fraud that other posters described.  I couldn't think of anyone.  Beyond that, I never know or cared to know about any of that stuff.  It is too much information and none of my business.   People who reveal so much information are fools, and those who dig for that information and later tell others are no better.  All of this worrying about what is in someone else's pocket is a waste of energy. 

             

baytostay

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2006, 05:57:45 PM »
I can see why spoiled brats annoy people. I think they are annoying, even to other spoiled brats.  However, in defense of people who "expect" their parents to pay for their schooling...if my parents couldn't afford to pay for my school, I would never expect them to, but since they can, and since their income prevents me from qualifying for financial aid (which i would get based on my own income), I do think they should help pay something.  Because I think it's really bad to saddle your kids with $150,000 in debt when you could pay for their school by just not getting that bigger yacht.  And it's incredibly hard on the student, because they don't qualify for subsidized loans or grants even though they are poor themselves and would not only be in debt up to their ears, but would be in high-interest private debt up to their ears. In this instance, it is (financially) better to be poor and have poor parents than to be poor (or just young and not have any money of your own) and have unsupportive rich parents.

juliemccoy

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2006, 06:05:25 PM »
I don't get mad at those whose parents can help them out. But I do resent the ones who lie about their financial situations and receive grants while the rest of us who reported honestly are having to pay back loans!
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baytostay

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #16 on: June 15, 2006, 06:07:20 PM »
just pray that they get audited. they did commit a crime, after all.

queencruella

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2006, 06:48:34 PM »
I can see why spoiled brats annoy people. I think they are annoying, even to other spoiled brats.  However, in defense of people who "expect" their parents to pay for their schooling...if my parents couldn't afford to pay for my school, I would never expect them to, but since they can, and since their income prevents me from qualifying for financial aid (which i would get based on my own income), I do think they should help pay something.  Because I think it's really bad to saddle your kids with $150,000 in debt when you could pay for their school by just not getting that bigger yacht.  And it's incredibly hard on the student, because they don't qualify for subsidized loans or grants even though they are poor themselves and would not only be in debt up to their ears, but would be in high-interest private debt up to their ears. In this instance, it is (financially) better to be poor and have poor parents than to be poor (or just young and not have any money of your own) and have unsupportive rich parents.

I agree. I think that parents who have the means to pay for a student's education should do so instead of paying for unnecessary items like a new luxury car or yacht and then complaining that they deserve grants because they can't afford to pay for little Sarah's schooling. WTF? It's one thing to say you're not going to pay for your child to go to an expensive private school when she's getting a great deal from the flagship state school, but it's something else to put your child in a situation where she'll qualify for no grants/subsidized loans and ends up up to her ears in debt even to go to a state school. It's also a bad deal for kids who have divorced parent and the one parent who has a high income refuses to contribute anything.

queencruella

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #18 on: June 15, 2006, 07:08:57 PM »
I don't know about other posters, but I was referring only to undergraduates who have trouble getting loans because of their parents' income. When you're 18, have no credit, and are still considered dependent, it is incredibly difficult to qualify for a loan.

As for the parental stuff at the graduate level, a lot of top schools still ask because they consider parents to be a viable source of money, even if in the form of a loan. The age at which you can qualify as independent varies from mid-twenties to never depending on the school.

baytostay

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Re: do u get mad at people who dont have to pay for school?
« Reply #19 on: June 15, 2006, 08:05:43 PM »
In my particular situation, if my parents decided not to help, there were unsubsidized stafford loans and b/c of my parents, my efc was so high that the only way to cover the difference between COA and the Stafford loan cap was higher-interest private loans.  No financial aid grants. No work study. No merit aid either  :(.  I have been paying my own way for 3 years, but b/c of Need Access, I was not considered independent by any of the schools I applied to.

Certainly,  a lot of students are in a similar situation where they have to pay for their entire education with loans, and it's not like it would be impossible for me to do that.  Still, I can't say I wouldn't resent my parents a bit if they were jet-setting while I was toiling to pay off $150K in loans.