Shouldn't Be Bragging Negro
This one is your run of the mill wannabe player. He'll tell you loudly, and in great detail about each and every conquest he's had that month, often repeating the same story two or three times in the same conversation. If you take what he says at face value, he might sound like the pool boy at the Playboy Mansion. You were never really threatened by him though, because judging by his looks, clothes, and just overall grimeyness, you were pretty sure that the kind of chick he was tappin' wasn't up to your standards. Then you actually *see* a few of the girls he was messing with.
Lip hair. Multiple chins. Fingernails that look like The Grinch's smile. How in God's name is she missing teeth? Dense as he is, he mistakes your look of barely concealed horror for stunned approval, and has a big sh!t eating grin on his face. You try not to look directly at the girls, and pretend that you don't notice the hungry looks they give you. You shudder and shake your head when they leave. When you next see your gf you kiss her and tell her she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen.