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Author Topic: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post)  (Read 7694 times)

jnc18

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Re: I know you know these negroes
« Reply #30 on: June 14, 2006, 05:33:52 PM »
Uncle Ron - Growing up, Uncle Ron was the coolest adult you could possibly imagine.  He wrestled with you, told dirty jokes, even gave you your first taste of beer.  He would tell you things about life that made you think he was a genius.  As you got older you realized that overall, his behavior was not that of a well-adjusted, responsible grown man.  By the time you finished college, you had kind of lost respect for the man, who still lived in the back room at your grandma's house.  Multiple DWIs have left him without a license, so whenever you go down home he asks you to drive him to the store for beer and Newports.  A player in his old days, his love life is now entirely comprised of crackheads and fat white women.  At reunions, the family does their best to hide the alcohol from him, but he alway gets into some, with disastrous results.  Usually he'll spill out his emotions about how he wasn't the favorite child and how his successful brother (who may or not be your dad) thinks he's so much better than him.  He will also expose all of the family's secrets.  This will probably end with a physical altercation.  It seems an endless cycle:  Jail, rehab, church choir, yardwork, crack, relapse, rinse, repeat.  Eventually the whole family just gives up on him.

Rudy Huckleberry

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Re: I know you know these negroes
« Reply #31 on: June 14, 2006, 06:07:08 PM »
Uncle Ron - Growing up, Uncle Ron was the coolest adult you could possibly imagine.  He wrestled with you, told dirty jokes, even gave you your first taste of beer.  He would tell you things about life that made you think he was a genius.  As you got older you realized that overall, his behavior was not that of a well-adjusted, responsible grown man.  By the time you finished college, you had kind of lost respect for the man, who still lived in the back room at your grandmama's house.  Multiple DWIs have left him without a license, so whenever you go down home he asks you to drive him to the store for beer and Newports.  A player in his old days, his love life is now entirely comprised of crackheads and fat white women.  At reunions, the family does their best to hide the alcohol from him, but he alway gets into some, with disastrous results.  Usually he'll spill out his emotions about how he wasn't the favorite child and how his successful brother (who may or not be your dad) thinks he's so much better than him.  It seems an endless cycle:  Jail, rehab, church choir, yardwork, crack, relapse, rinse, repeat.  Eventually the whole family just gives up on him.

Oh my goodness! I definitely know that Negro! :D

jnc18

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post spectacular!)
« Reply #32 on: June 15, 2006, 12:05:41 PM »
I just noticed that I have broken the 1000 post milestone.  It was supposed to be epic, fireworks and what-not.  So I went back and looked to see what my 1000th post was, hoping it wasn't

"Hahaha, that's funny"

or something like that.  Turns out, it was the OP of this thread.  Solid.


TruOne

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post spectacular!)
« Reply #33 on: June 15, 2006, 12:16:13 PM »
Alicia - Alicia is the stereotypical tragic mullato, except she's not mulatto. In fact, a quick search of her family try finds that her family hails from Tugaloo, Mississippi. However, being two-generations removed from the south has given Alicia a different perspective on life. Alicia recognizes that she is black, however you'd be hard pressed to find her around any black people.

Favorite Actor - Ashton Kutcher
Favorite Singer - Dixie Chicks
Clothing store of choice - Tie between Abercrombie & Fitch and Bannanna Republic

To Alicia, racism is nothing more than an excuse people use to hold themselves back. She doesn't see color, just people. The last time you had heard about Alicia she had successfully pledge Tri-Delta and was engaged to her long-time beau Skip Rogers.
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jnc18

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post spectacular!)
« Reply #34 on: June 15, 2006, 12:17:21 PM »
Alicia - Alicia is the stereotypical tragic mullato, except she's not mulatto. In fact, a quick search of her family try finds that her family hails from Tugaloo, Mississippi. However, being two-generations removed from the south has given Alicia a different perspective on life. Alicia recognizes that she is black, however you'd be hard pressed to find her around any black people.

Favorite Actor - Ashton Kutcher
Favorite Singer - Dixie Chicks
Clothing store of choice - Tie between Abercrombie & Fitch and Bannanna Republic

To Alicia, racism is nothing more than an excuse people use to hold themselves back. She doesn't see color, just people. The last time you had heard about Alicia she had successfully pledge Tri-Delta and was engaged to her long-time beau Skip Rogers.

Sigh... yeah, I know a good number of Alicias....

PaddyWack

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post)
« Reply #35 on: June 15, 2006, 12:20:07 PM »
Dammitt, doesn't anyone else have any "that negro" vingettes?

I like this thread, but it gets me kinda sad, because it reminds of how little I can contribute.  I spent my formative years (birth to age 10) spilt between the ghettos of Jamaica and an all white ritzy semi-gated community in New York (serious culture shock!).  As a result I've always felt disconnected from the American Black culture.  Always an outsider looking in.  So, these descriptions are funny and interesting, because they fill in the picture just a little bit more.

BTW, does anyone here share my experiences?

TruOne

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post)
« Reply #36 on: June 15, 2006, 12:24:19 PM »
Wackypad - You've seen this negro before. Spent the majority of their life (so far) growing up between the ghettos of St. Thomas and a glitzy and glamorous all-white fully-gated community in Vermont. Their expereince with black folx outside their family was LeRoy the mail-man and Ms. Johnson the cafeteria cook at school who always called everybody, "Baby". Wackypad can be typically found on Blackplanet.com and BET.com attempting to reconnect with their roots. The last time you heard from Wackypad, they had converted to the Nation of Islam was last seen on the corner of Lee St. and Ralph David Abernathy selling Bean Pies.
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jnc18

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post)
« Reply #37 on: June 15, 2006, 12:25:26 PM »
NM

PaddyWack

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post)
« Reply #38 on: June 15, 2006, 12:28:28 PM »
Wackypad - You've seen this negro before. Spent the majority of their life (so far) growing up between the ghettos of St. Thomas and a glitzy and glamorous all-white fully-gated community in Vermont. They're expereince with black folx outside their family was LeRoy the mail-main and Ms. Johnson the cafeteria cook at school who always called everybody, "Baby". Wackypad can be typically found on Blackplanet.com and BET.com attempting to reconnect with their roots. The last time you heard from Wackypad, they had converted to the Nation of Islam was last seen on the corner of Lee St. and Ralph David Abernathy selling Bean Pies.

This is the first one so far that is a little bit beyond me....

Hold up, is this a jab at PaddyWack or is that pure coincidence?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's a shot at me.

jnc18

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Re: I know you know these negroes (Jay's1000th post)
« Reply #39 on: June 15, 2006, 12:31:28 PM »
Oh, *slaps forehead*

I missed your previous post, so I didn't realize he was responding to that.  There was no context.  I'm sure it was all in jest.