a momentary lapse of zen (aka Panicking!)

[Momo09]

I'm commuting from the conmfort of my home, 65 miles away from campus so no moving for me.  I just signed up for Vanpool and the closest available van leaves 26 miles away from my house at 6AM.  I paid for a parking permit which is still floating through USPS or something.  Next week orientation starts and it's going to be fun fun fun!

[SplitFinger]

Our internet has been on the fritz all week, and to tell you the truth, it's been a godsend as far as helping me study for the Patent Bar (nine days and counting...)

No email, no LSD, no nothing except Patent Law - which, despite what you may have heard, ain't the most scintillating of subjects.  I'm sure you're all shocked to hear that, but I assure you it's the truth.

[smiley]

Okay, having a bit of a panic moment...Well, not so much panic maybe, just feel kind of sad all of the sudden.  Has anyone else felt this??? My SO is in North Carolina, training to return to Iraq with the USMC reserves. I got to see him this past weekend for probably the last time until...well, until our 1L year is over! So, I guess I'm feeling worried, and sad about that, and nervous about moving this weekend, even though I have various family and friends roped in to help me out. I just feel like the first time I'm going to be sitting in my apartment alone I'm just gonna cry like a little baby!!! And I don't usually act like a baby, but a lot of the process of moving and getting ready to go has been tough, like trying to get my car sold. I mean, I don't even have my laptop yet! Did my financial aid go through? I'm supposed to have gum surgery this fall and a crown placed, how the hell am I gonna do that? Maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed, and maybe someone can offer some reassuring words (greengrl and Jolie always seem so good with this)...

[aerynn]

I definately had that moment last week and it was terrible.  But I cried and am better now.  This first week (God, is it only MONDAY?) has been awesome.  Everyone is in the same boat and so eager to make friends.  There is at least one girl in my section who has her husband in Iraq and she isn't going to get to see him until he comes back.  You might not have your family with you, but you have friends, tons of them.  You just haven't met them yet.

[greengrl]

Okay, having a bit of a panic moment...Well, not so much panic maybe, just feel kind of sad all of the sudden.  Has anyone else felt this??? My SO is in North Carolina, training to return to Iraq with the USMC reserves. I got to see him this past weekend for probably the last time until...well, until our 1L year is over! So, I guess I'm feeling worried, and sad about that, and nervous about moving this weekend, even though I have various family and friends roped in to help me out. I just feel like the first time I'm going to be sitting in my apartment alone I'm just gonna cry like a little baby!!! And I don't usually act like a baby, but a lot of the process of moving and getting ready to go has been tough, like trying to get my car sold. I mean, I don't even have my laptop yet! Did my financial aid go through? I'm supposed to have gum surgery this fall and a crown placed, how the hell am I gonna do that? Maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed, and maybe someone can offer some reassuring words (greengrl and Jolie always seem so good with this)...

AHH!! I'm so sorry I wasn't online yesterday--my stupid internet connection wouldn't work. How in the HELL am i supposed to procrastinate without internet! Honestly, if you didn't feel this way then I would be a bit MORE worried. You're going through so many emotional and spiritual changes just with the return of your SO to Iraq--now you're being asked to go into a room of strangers and srange concepts and be expected to be "normal" or positively cheery all the time. It's exhausting, thrilling and absolutely isolating all at the same time. This sounds a bit silly probably but when I feel like I'm going to just lose it and cry like a baby I do exactly that--I just cry. I tell myself that for the next five minutes I can be as scared, irrational and absolutely bratty about anything that I need to be and when that five minutes is over I feel so much better--it's like "yeah world I'm pissed and scared and i've just admitted it to you so now F-you and I'm going to get on with my life and be HAPPY!". I know..silly. Embrace the emotions, because you will feel them again, multiple times over the next year and you will need to pull from the strength that you develop now. Make time to write letters to your SO everyday, even if it's just a quick email or better yet a short note on special paper. Give yourself that time to stay in contact with that part of your life that will presumably rule a large part of your self concious for the next year. Post pictures of your family and friends so that you have something quick to remind you why you are taking the risks you are and that no mattter what you have an entire network of people that loves you. As hard as it might be (b/c I'm having a really hard time doing this and it's making me nervous) say hello to everyone you meet, even the 22 y/o who still looks like he/she might pee their pants at any given moment.

You have been given this opportunity b/c you are capable and deserving of it. You have everything you need to accomplish this task if you allow yourself to acknowledge the doubt and embrace the possibilities. I know, it's insane--but sometimes you just have to be your own freakin' cheerleader.

I hope that helps. And know that you are in the company of people going through the same thing---both in your classes and on this board. This next month will be one of the most challenging months of your life--but at the end you get to say "Yeah, I'm a law student and yes, things are going just fine"

Hang in there and let us know if we can help

GG

[mobo]

after reading this board, i am going to get to my orientation, look around and feel better knowing that just about every single person there has been brought to breaking point in the last month while getting ready for ls. way better than picturing everyone in their underwear. (or is it?)

cry when you feel like it is good advice.

saying hi to every single person is critical advice. i have some very introverted friends who are always amazed at how positively most people respond to a simple hello. in fact, i would say that most people are just waiting for someone else to say hello first...being that person pays off in spades in the long run. people really appreciate kindness and friendliness, even if they don't say anything at the time - you make a great first impression by taking that simple initiative...

EDIT: i know that for many, "simple" doesn't equal "easy" in this case.

[greengrl]

after reading this board, i am going to get to my orientation, look around and feel better knowing that just about every single person there has been brought to breaking point in the last month while getting ready for ls. way better than picturing everyone in their underwear. (or is it?)

cry when you feel like it is good advice.

saying hi to every single person is critical advice. i have some very introverted friends who are always amazed at how positively most people respond to a simple hello. in fact, i would say that most people are just waiting for someone else to say hello first...being that person pays off in spades in the long run. people really appreciate kindness and friendliness, even if they don't say anything at the time - you make a great first impression by taking that simple initiative...

EDIT: i know that for many, "simple" doesn't equal "easy" in this case.

well, if you would have picked Iowa you would already know what orientation was like today was especially long and annoying. but it gets better

[smiley]

Thanks aerynn, greengrl, mobo, for the reminder to embrace the experiences and emotions. And you're all definitely right about staying positive, meeting new people, looking forward to this incredible opportunity to study and be in school for the next 3 years (something I've really missed while working). I do feel better, and I'll remember to cry when I feel like doing that as well!

[Pattydream]

Smiley, I'm sending good wishes your way.  If it helps to know it, you are not alone.  My orientation is a week away and for the last couple of days all of the things I have been meaning to get to this summer, but haven't done yet, are running through my mind.  That's not to say I did any of them, just thought about it while I was watching court TV.   

Hang in there!

[mobo]

well, if you would have picked Iowa you would already know what orientation was like today was especially long and annoying. but it gets better

i almost did pick iowa actually...would have been fun to be classmates with you - now it will be fun to compare experiences...

i suppose at one point we should move over to the students board...but they just seem short tempered - maybe just short on time - over there.