a momentary lapse of zen (aka Panicking!)

[mobo]

just panicked.

was fine all through the 2600 mile trip, solo, to get to chitown. (in fact, it was great. just me and the mountains and lakes and national parks across the west.)

was fine all through the four day blitz to go from zero to furnished without buying a single ikea or retail item. (ok, bought a new spanking mattress (ahem). and filing cabinets. and my office chair. but that's it.)

was fine this morning, when i woke to hear my neighbor's boyfriend hitting her before the sun rose. was even fine throughout the 911 call i made to the chi police.

now my apt is a disaster area, i can't figure out who to call to keep my electricity from getting turned off, i have no food, or beer in my fridge, i can't figure out where to start so i can make order out of complete chaos, i have no one i can call to come over and help me (not like i have ever done that, but now that i actually want to, and would, i can't), and the internet connection i am cruising is a public school one which keeps sending off this loud ALARM whenever i try to view yahoo pics of furniture i see on craigslist.

not to mention that i have nothing to wear for school, let alone for the winter, i am sure that i should be studying something right now, and my back hurts.

sigh.

anyone else?

[greengrl]

just panicked.

was fine all through the 2600 mile trip, solo, to get to chitown. (in fact, it was great. just me and the mountains and lakes and national parks across the west.)

was fine all through the four day blitz to go from zero to furnished without buying a single ikea or retail item. (ok, bought a new spanking mattress (ahem). and filing cabinets. and my office chair. but that's it.)

was fine this morning, when i woke to hear my neighbor's boyfriend hitting her before the sun rose. was even fine throughout the 911 call i made to the chi police.

now my apt is a disaster area, i can't figure out who to call to keep my electricity from getting turned off, i have no food, or beer in my fridge, i can't figure out where to start so i can make order out of complete chaos, i have no one i can call to come over and help me (not like i have ever done that, but now that i actually want to, and would, i can't), and the internet connection i am cruising is a public school one which keeps sending off this loud ALARM whenever i try to view yahoo pics of furniture i see on craigslist.

not to mention that i have nothing to wear for school, let alone for the winter, i am sure that i should be studying something right now, and my back hurts.

sigh.

anyone else?

Ahh..the ultimate paradox--the 'relief' stress can bring about when it consumes our every minute and silences our inner voices. suddenly, all seems fine and stress slowly creeps away and only then does that little voice kick back in.

first off, call ComEd.  then call Comcast and get the high speed internet deals they've always got going--I think it's like thirty bucks a month for the first six months--at least you'll have a realiable connection at a good rate while you decide if that's what you want. but call soon b/c they take about a week to get their butts out there.

THEN, for the love of GAWD and the sake of your sanity, GO GET SOME BEER and a frozen pizza. and a chocolate chip cookie...that last one is for me--i'm hungry for chocolate.

i'm guessing the next week or so will be insane for all of us--you are certainly not alone. now that i'm moved in, almost unpacked and finished decorating the reality of living in a small college town for the next three years has finally hit me. i'm never lonely, but right now--i'm super lonely. i feel like a five year old again, so worried that i won't make friends or find a network of adults to interact with. isn't that LAME?? i'm 26 years old and worrying if people will LIKE me. i'm laughing at myself...

and i completely understand the "having someone to call even though you never would" i can't decide where to hang these two pictures. and it's making my brain hurt. and even though i know i will ultimately make the decision myself, it would be nice to have someone to sit on my couch and drink a bottle of wine with while making such an important decision

*sigh*. i think we'll be ok. hang in there...and if you have Chicago specific questions feel free to ask me

[mobo]

thanks greengrl - after i posted i went and busied myself building my very cool bookcase. then i went online and took care of comed. (i keep calling them coned, i don't know why.) i also call freeways freeways - and one woman i asked for directions (to the nearest freeway) said, "dear, are you from california?" ummm. yes. then she said with a gentle smile, "we call them expressways here...". are you kidding me? i haven't been able to break 80 miles an hour at any time of day or night in this town. expressway my white a$$.

in other good news, it seems that my neighbor didn't have her "cmere b*tch" yellin' boyfriend over last night, so that was good. for both of us.

do you know what the dv/police policies are in chicago? the cops came by when i called yesterday (pretty quickly too), but i don't think she let them in so they left, and the sh*t started up again right after, and kept going for another hour and a half. what are the limits on what they can do? i checked the city and police websites and didn't see anything. i may need to call the dv hotline to find out.

i have a million chicago questions, but i have the important things mostly figured out. i think the panic hit because i had two different friends here to help me move in over the first week, and yesterday was my second day on my own, so it hit me how alone i really am out here. for the moment, anyway.

you think YOU are worried if the kids at school are going to like you? i am 37 and have the same worry, especially since most of the other kids at school really will be around 27 (if i am lucky) and i only LOOK like i am 27.

on a completely different note - this is a general question for anyone, do we really need internet at home? i plan on splitting my studying between the library and my home office - and it would actually be nice to save the money. especially since i will have access at school all day long...

i think i will ask this at orientation...

ok, going to put my office in order. and now that it is after 8, i can hammer away to finish my bookcase too.

[aerynn]

I'm not going to have internet at my temporary place, so I hope we don't need it!

[greengrl]

thanks greengrl - after i posted i went and busied myself building my very cool bookcase. then i went online and took care of comed. (i keep calling them coned, i don't know why.) i also call freeways freeways - and one woman i asked for directions (to the nearest freeway) said, "dear, are you from california?" ummm. yes. then she said with a gentle smile, "we call them expressways here...". are you kidding me? i haven't been able to break 80 miles an hour at any time of day or night in this town. expressway my white a$$.

in other good news, it seems that my neighbor didn't have her "cmere b*tch" yellin' boyfriend over last night, so that was good. for both of us.

do you know what the dv/police policies are in chicago? the cops came by when i called yesterday (pretty quickly too), but i don't think she let them in so they left, and the sh*t started up again right after, and kept going for another hour and a half. what are the limits on what they can do? i checked the city and police websites and didn't see anything. i may need to call the dv hotline to find out.

i have a million chicago questions, but i have the important things mostly figured out. i think the panic hit because i had two different friends here to help me move in over the first week, and yesterday was my second day on my own, so it hit me how alone i really am out here. for the moment, anyway.

you think YOU are worried if the kids at school are going to like you? i am 37 and have the same worry, especially since most of the other kids at school really will be around 27 (if i am lucky) and i only LOOK like i am 27.

on a completely different note - this is a general question for anyone, do we really need internet at home? i plan on splitting my studying between the library and my home office - and it would actually be nice to save the money. especially since i will have access at school all day long...

i think i will ask this at orientation...

ok, going to put my office in order. and now that it is after 8, i can hammer away to finish my bookcase too.

hahah..yeah, good luck EVER going more than eighty miles an hour on any of the "expressways", especially the Dan Ryan and I-290 after 1 pm on a weekday. Side note--your classmates from Chicago will have tips on avoiding a lot of the traffic and annoyance but if you have any questions my offer remains open--ask away.

on the issue of domestic violence, unless the woman lets them in or will file a report there is about nothing the police can do. they can write them tickets for noise disturbance if you have to keep calling but unless they see something or you SEE him physically strike her then I don't think there is a ton they can do. there are a few women's DV shelters and hotlines in the city and if it continues you might want to call them b/c they will know exactly what needs to be done to get someone to pay attention, and not write it off as an impassioned drunken argument.

hahah..yeah, i look like i'm about 22 so at first glance i'll fit in. but you, as much as anyone, know what it's like to move to a new city and just not know anyone. it will be a long three years without friends, you know?

oh well..for now the focus is school. on the issue of internet, if you don't think you will be doing much studying at home and want to save on internet, why not get at the very least a dial up connection--you won't be able to do any downloading or anything but if you need to check/send a quick email or look something up you will have that option, albeit it a slow one although by the time you get even the most basic phoneline and add the dial up it might not even be cheaper. just a thought.

i'm on my way to get my last bookshelf and finish up my office, too. decorating this place has kept me sane

[mobo]

greengrl, thanks for the offer of advice, i may very well take you up on it as there is only so much i want to turn to my classmates for...the internet has been a godsend. i found jan's antiques, the brown elephant, threads, and the ark thrift shop. my new favorite places.

as far as internet connection goes, i am currently freeloading off a public school wireless conx that is unsecured. the downside is that they restrict access to a lot of (fun) sites, but it works fine for email. and lsd of course. i might consider asking one of my neighbors if i can surf their wireless connection, maybe even give them 15 bucks a month or something to offset their cost.

and aerynn - if you are in a decent sized city, you can find wireless almost anywhere. even in a not decent sized city - i was in jackson wyoming, population 8800, sitting in the middle of town in my car surfing the internet for free.

[aerynn]

They have one at school and coffee shops and bookstores, so I am sure I will be okay.  It will probably be better for me to HAVE to sit in my room studying with no distractions. :/

[mobo]

They have one at school and coffee shops and bookstores, so I am sure I will be okay.  It will probably be better for me to HAVE to sit in my room studying with no distractions. :/

this was my thought too...we shall see how well that works out.

[Monarch heels]

I'm still unpacking, too.  It's pretty overwhelming- most my stuff came out of a year in storage.  I really would rather be enjoying my last week without reading assignments on my mind.

To everybody else who is also unpacking- hang in there, there IS a floor beneath that mess, somewhere...

[queencruella]

I'm still unpacking, too.  It's pretty overwhelming- most my stuff came out of a year in storage.  I really would rather be enjoying my last week without reading assignments on my mind.

To everybody else who is also unpacking- hang in there, there IS a floor beneath that mess, somewhere...

My stuff was in storage for a 3 years and is covered with a layer of filth. Fun! I still have a while to go before I'm finished unpacking.