Law School Discussion

Nine Years of Discussion
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Poll

How Will You Kill Yourself, If You Don't Get On Law Review?

Seppuku (aka hara-kiri), or ritual disembowelment
Slit own throat with a rusty blade
Heroin/barbituate/other pain-free overdose
Drink until liver is destroyed
Encourage horses to kick you in the chest til u die
Hurl self into live volcano
Lie down in a darkened street and wait for car
Go to Florida, wade into swamp, wait for alligators
Drench self in lighter fluid and light a match
I will kill those who make law review
I will kill others until I am in the top 10% and make law review

Author Topic: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?  (Read 7247 times)

Towlie

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #70 on: June 10, 2006, 03:55:09 AM »
Can we make a "How will you kill all of the people who would kill themselves or anyone if they didn't get onto law review" poll?

No, that would mean you would kill me if I don't get on law review. I don't want to die!

Then stop caring about it or I'll get Jack Bauer on your ass
.

 :D :D Can Jack Bauer be a method of killing self?

Jack Bauer can be anything he wants. He's Jack Bauer.

Perversely

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #71 on: June 10, 2006, 08:30:31 PM »
I wouldn't kill myself if I didn't make law review, I'd just kill all the people that did.

hilarious! :D now THAT's encouragement not to get on. i hope we're not at the same school!  :D :D :D

Perversely

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #72 on: June 10, 2006, 08:32:58 PM »
I think it matters a lot less higher up the food chain. If I was at HYS or even T14 I don't know if I'd care as much, or at all.

Yeah, I definitly agree with that.

...but I think even for T14 it matters if you are aiming for the very top firms.

From what I've heard, at those firms, grades are more important than LR.

i heard the opposite. i heard grades AND LR kicks serious A*s. you're pretty much guaranteed to be a "top feeder"

dun

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #73 on: June 10, 2006, 09:22:01 PM »
I would never be able to kill anyone, let alone myself.  I couldn't even inflict pain upon myself willfully.

Billy Pilgrim

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #74 on: June 10, 2006, 11:50:30 PM »
Why is there no option for riding a horse up to the top of a volcano, laying down underneath the horse on the very edge of the volcano, drinking oneself into a stupor, shooting up with heroin, covering oneself with lighter fluid, and then lighting a match and committing Seppuku at the same time?


Billy Pilgrim

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #75 on: June 11, 2006, 10:49:47 AM »
I think it matters a lot less higher up the food chain. If I was at HYS or even T14 I don't know if I'd care as much, or at all.

Yeah, I definitly agree with that.

...but I think even for T14 it matters if you are aiming for the very top firms.

From what I've heard, at those firms, grades are more important than LR.

i heard the opposite. i heard grades AND LR kicks serious A*s. you're pretty much guaranteed to be a "top feeder"

law review is worth .3 on your GPA

Yeah, but if you believe the urban legend, suicide will get all of your roommates straight As.

rajkp

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #76 on: June 12, 2006, 03:35:25 AM »
I will not be killing myself if I do not make LR. I will, however, kill all those who did make LR, forcing the selection of a new LR staff. I imagine I would continue this process until I made LR.

:P  ???  :)  ;D  :o

Andromeda

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #77 on: June 12, 2006, 04:23:46 PM »
I really liked the alligator scenario....... LMAO

"V"

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #78 on: June 12, 2006, 05:33:25 PM »
I believe that has already been suggested earlier in the thread. However, it does seem to be on a lot of peoples' minds, so it's good you brought it up.

I am thinking that a better model for law review admission, rather than write-ons or grades, might be some form of ultimate fighting championship. This would show who REALLY wanted to be on law review. How hard are you will to fight for it? Are you willing to lose teeth? Have an eye gouged out? Survive a stab wound?

Let's make law review really count for something...

In this case, I think I'll pursue knitting instead of Law Review. May the toothless and eyeless write many fine articles for the school!

aerynn

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Re: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?
« Reply #79 on: June 12, 2006, 05:49:46 PM »
I believe that has already been suggested earlier in the thread. However, it does seem to be on a lot of peoples' minds, so it's good you brought it up.

I am thinking that a better model for law review admission, rather than write-ons or grades, might be some form of ultimate fighting championship. This would show who REALLY wanted to be on law review. How hard are you will to fight for it? Are you willing to lose teeth? Have an eye gouged out? Survive a stab wound?

Let's make law review really count for something...

In this case, I think I'll pursue knitting instead of Law Review. May the toothless and eyeless write many fine articles for the school!

I would think that would lower the benefit of being on law review.  Can you imagine walking into a biglaw interview missing an eye, some teeth, with a peg leg and playing with your sharpened bowie knife?  They ask you about your qualifications and you take the knife and use it to pin your resume to the desk.

"I'm on law review.  There ain't nothin' more you's needs ta know," you will growl in the hiring partner's face, the smell of home-distilled gin on your breath.

"I see," the partner nervously simpers, as he cross "on law review" off the list of preferred qualifications.
Here's how it went for me for Fall 2006 admission:
168/3.67
In: Emory($$), UGA ($), W&M ($$), GW($)
Waitlisted:American(W), UVA (W)
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