Law School Discussion

Nine Years of Discussion
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Poll

How Will You Kill Yourself, If You Don't Get On Law Review?

Seppuku (aka hara-kiri), or ritual disembowelment
Slit own throat with a rusty blade
Heroin/barbituate/other pain-free overdose
Drink until liver is destroyed
Encourage horses to kick you in the chest til u die
Hurl self into live volcano
Lie down in a darkened street and wait for car
Go to Florida, wade into swamp, wait for alligators
Drench self in lighter fluid and light a match
I will kill those who make law review
I will kill others until I am in the top 10% and make law review

Author Topic: NEW POLL: How Will You Kill Yourself If You Don't Get On Law Review?  (Read 7251 times)

Perversely

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #50 on: June 06, 2006, 05:50:24 PM »
Naw, you'll just end up like Dan on "Night Court"

 :D

there are worse things, i suppose :D

Lurking Third Year

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #51 on: June 06, 2006, 10:56:16 PM »
As a former member of law review (graduated, haven't updated the user name), I thought I'd chime in as well.

First, I wouldn't spend much time thinking about law review until your school's writing competition begins. Of course, you should do your best academically, and if your school factors grades into journal selection, that will help you w/law review as well.

Second, as far as law review and moot court, at my school you can do both, and Iíve never heard of a school not allowing this.  As someone else pointed out, moot court is academically rigorous, but most employers donít seem anywhere near as impressed with moot court as with law review.  There is definitely a hierarchy in law school, at least as far as getting the best jobs, clerkships, etc.  Grades are unquestionably at the top, then law review, then, and there is a pretty large gap, other journals, moot court, and other activities.

Itís an unfortunate reality that most students wonít be on law review, and as law professors love to point out as if it hasnít been said enough (and I guess Iím going to do the same), 90% of the class wonít be in the top 10%.  What is even more unfortunate, though, is that lots of people who didnít really want to be on law review or care about prestige or large firms going in, find that, by the beginning of their second year, their values have changed, and they are desperate to be at the top of the class, to be on law review, to work at the most prestigious firms.  Of course, in the same way that not everyone can be in the top 10%, not everyone can work for the top firms -- someone might even have to settle for a firm thatís not ranked by vault!  So it really never ends.  The point of this rambling post is to say: relax, do your best, and have faith in your abilities and, more importantly, that things will work out. 



Little D

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #52 on: June 06, 2006, 10:58:20 PM »
and think of snakes on a mutherfucking airplane!!!
They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."

Do it now!!!!
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J D

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #53 on: June 06, 2006, 11:54:07 PM »
Bonkers, Jr. will die if I don't get on law review.

Wait till you get to law school, the dying jokes get a lot more funny, and grave, come exam/job time. One of the adjunct professors, a partner at a big law firm, died fall semester. First thing anyone though of was whatís the etiquette of handing out resumes at the wake? One pager, just a card, or can you leave a stack by the condolence book? It took awhile for anybody to laugh, not because it was not funny, but because all of us where seriously considering the option, at least momentarily.



Maybe I'm just crazy or not ambitious enough, but did anyone else at the time think this was just EXTREMELY TACKY and dismiss it out of hand?
"I never think of the future.  It comes soon enough."--Albert Einstein

J D

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #54 on: June 07, 2006, 12:19:10 AM »
Bonkers, Jr. will die if I don't get on law review.

Wait till you get to law school, the dying jokes get a lot more funny, and grave, come exam/job time. One of the adjunct professors, a partner at a big law firm, died fall semester. First thing anyone though of was whatís the etiquette of handing out resumes at the wake? One pager, just a card, or can you leave a stack by the condolence book? It took awhile for anybody to laugh, not because it was not funny, but because all of us where seriously considering the option, at least momentarily.



Maybe I'm just crazy or not ambitious enough, but did anyone else at the time think this was just EXTREMELY TACKY and dismiss it out of hand?

It was reading week, of first semester of 1L, at midnight, on a Thursday, in the library. No one was thinking right. Sure in hindsight its tacky, but we are talking about law students here. Stress, breeds tackiness, and tackiness breeds stupidity.

Ever been out with your classmates the night of your last final? Then you know what I mean, these people donít think straight in December. Lucky I was the sober one, and had the camera. There is enough on that disk to keep me in favors for years:o



Actually, that night I was on a plane back home for Christmas.  It was a wonderful vacation.  And I don't know what kind of tools are bred out at your school, ( ::) ) but I can't imagine anybody (well, okay, maybe a few people, but no one in my circle of friends) even thinking about such a cockamamie idea, even during finals week.  Then again, a lot of the major job stress was in Spring, not Fall.  Most of us were resigned to the fact that we stood almost no chance of getting a firm job 1L summer, and everyone else has later hiring schedules.  Besides, all the firm reps at the one Meet the Firms event in December told us to concentrate on exams and not even worry too much about getting all the stuff in the mail by Decemeber 1, because it's not like our chances of getting hired that summer were great anyway, and our grades were more important in the long run.
"I never think of the future.  It comes soon enough."--Albert Einstein

J D

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #55 on: June 07, 2006, 07:03:58 AM »
Bonkers, Jr. will die if I don't get on law review.

Wait till you get to law school, the dying jokes get a lot more funny, and grave, come exam/job time. One of the adjunct professors, a partner at a big law firm, died fall semester. First thing anyone though of was whatís the etiquette of handing out resumes at the wake? One pager, just a card, or can you leave a stack by the condolence book? It took awhile for anybody to laugh, not because it was not funny, but because all of us where seriously considering the option, at least momentarily.



Maybe I'm just crazy or not ambitious enough, but did anyone else at the time think this was just EXTREMELY TACKY and dismiss it out of hand?

It was reading week, of first semester of 1L, at midnight, on a Thursday, in the library. No one was thinking right. Sure in hindsight its tacky, but we are talking about law students here. Stress, breeds tackiness, and tackiness breeds stupidity.

Ever been out with your classmates the night of your last final? Then you know what I mean, these people donít think straight in December. Lucky I was the sober one, and had the camera. There is enough on that disk to keep me in favors for years:o



Actually, that night I was on a plane back home for Christmas.  It was a wonderful vacation.  And I don't know what kind of tools are bred out at your school, ( ::) ) but I can't imagine anybody (well, okay, maybe a few people, but no one in my circle of friends) even thinking about such a cockamamie idea, even during finals week.  Then again, a lot of the major job stress was in Spring, not Fall.  Most of us were resigned to the fact that we stood almost no chance of getting a firm job 1L summer, and everyone else has later hiring schedules.  Besides, all the firm reps at the one Meet the Firms event in December told us to concentrate on exams and not even worry too much about getting all the stuff in the mail by Decemeber 1, because it's not like our chances of getting hired that summer were great anyway, and our grades were more important in the long run.

I wish I could say its only a few ďtoolsĒ, but most of the law students I have met are ĎtoolsĒ. They donít think much about anything but themselves. Save a few who donít buy into the whole Iím in law school so Iím so cool mentality. I tend to hang around with those folks, but they also tend to be the ones who have the darkest sense of humor since they donít take anything, especially themselves, too seriously.

I think you might have missed the point of the joke, and why it was funny, precisely because only a law student would think so much of himself to suggest such a thing. It was a crack on all those who might, have subcisously, given it a thought. A crack on the whole get on law review, the get a 1L job or my life is over types. Guess my school is just different, the majority of my classmates were probably nice people, with good senses of humor who would have normally been disgusted to think such a thing, but then they went to law school and became tools. 


No, I get the joke.  It's just one of those things where you hear about it, audibly slap your forehead and ask "Why?  What were you thinking?"

::)
"I never think of the future.  It comes soon enough."--Albert Einstein

Burning Sands, Esq.

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #56 on: June 08, 2006, 11:25:20 AM »
As a former member of law review (graduated, haven't updated the user name), I thought I'd chime in as well.

First, I wouldn't spend much time thinking about law review until your school's writing competition begins. Of course, you should do your best academically, and if your school factors grades into journal selection, that will help you w/law review as well.

Second, as far as law review and moot court, at my school you can do both, and Iíve never heard of a school not allowing this.  As someone else pointed out, moot court is academically rigorous, but most employers donít seem anywhere near as impressed with moot court as with law review.  There is definitely a hierarchy in law school, at least as far as getting the best jobs, clerkships, etc.  Grades are unquestionably at the top, then law review, then, and there is a pretty large gap, other journals, moot court, and other activities.

Itís an unfortunate reality that most students wonít be on law review, and as law professors love to point out as if it hasnít been said enough (and I guess Iím going to do the same), 90% of the class wonít be in the top 10%.  What is even more unfortunate, though, is that lots of people who didnít really want to be on law review or care about prestige or large firms going in, find that, by the beginning of their second year, their values have changed, and they are desperate to be at the top of the class, to be on law review, to work at the most prestigious firms.  Of course, in the same way that not everyone can be in the top 10%, not everyone can work for the top firms -- someone might even have to settle for a firm thatís not ranked by vault!  So it really never ends.  The point of this rambling post is to say: relax, do your best, and have faith in your abilities and, more importantly, that things will work out. 




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scottyd1982

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #57 on: June 09, 2006, 10:35:21 PM »
Honestly, although I truly DO want to make law review...I'm not going to throw a *&^% fit if I don't. Why? Well, because life isn't always about being on top.

Nice resume/experience-builder, but if any of you are honestly already DEPRESSED at the thought of not making it? There is a point of being TOO ambitious.

Serenity now.
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Towlie

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #58 on: June 10, 2006, 12:19:05 AM »
Not to take this thread in an entirely different direction, but people keep mentioning seppuku, and personally, that is the last way I'd ever kill myself.

Can you imagine killing yourself by ritually disembowelling yourself with a Samurai sword? Keep in mind that the intestines are generally full of undigested food, i.e. feces, so the last thing you will see -- and smell -- are your own guts mingled with your own sh!t spilling out of you. EW!!!

I think I'm going to pull a "Thou" and change this poll to, "How will you kill yourself if you don't get on law review?"

If you don't get onto law review, that's the last thing you deserve to see and smell.

Towlie

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Re: How Much Does Getting on Law Review Matter to YOU?
« Reply #59 on: June 10, 2006, 12:23:28 AM »
I just think if I were going to choose a horrific way to die, I'd choose one more sanitary.

Do you really think a non-Law Review person deserves to die in a sanitary way? Come on now.