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Author Topic: Relationship Dealbreakers  (Read 17351 times)

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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #350 on: May 31, 2006, 11:04:34 AM »
Agreed.  Just the fact that black males use the phrase 'no homo' when saying/doing something that isn't traditionally 'manly' is telling.  I read a story in a magazine about a women who husband married her in the 80s, but they rarely had sex.  She found out that he was gay and HIV positive.  He knew before they married, but didn't want to die alone!  And she stayed with him (and outlived him) after he threatened to tell everyone that she gave it to him if she left him.  People like that only breed suspicion between black men and women.  As if black women didn't have enough to think about when dating. 

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id like to think thats rare...
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Nemesis

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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #351 on: May 31, 2006, 11:07:21 AM »
better than most women. now don't you feel bad for rolling your eyes at me?  :D


Rolling my eyes? It's what I do! I've never regretted rolling my eyes...well, except for that time my dad whooped me for sassing him...
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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #352 on: May 31, 2006, 11:09:21 AM »
better than most women. now don't you feel bad for rolling your eyes at me?  :D


Rolling my eyes? It's what I do! I've never regretted rolling my eyes...well, except for that time my dad whooped me for sassing him...

well deserved prob!!!!
Do you really believe in free speech, or just in speech you agree with?

pikey

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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #353 on: May 31, 2006, 11:10:56 AM »
Agreed.  Just the fact that black males use the phrase 'no homo' when saying/doing something that isn't traditionally 'manly' is telling.  I read a story in a magazine about a women who husband married her in the 80s, but they rarely had sex.  She found out that he was gay and HIV positive.  He knew before they married, but didn't want to die alone!  And she stayed with him (and outlived him) after he threatened to tell everyone that she gave it to him if she left him.  People like that only breed suspicion between black men and women.  As if black women didn't have enough to think about when dating. 

********************************************************


id like to think thats rare...

Of course guys purposely giving women AIDS is rare.  But guys on the DL?  Not as rare as we'd like to think.  Guys on the DL having unprotected sex with men and their wives?  Not as rare as we'd like to think.  To me that's the worst part of it, that you're playing Russian roulette with the life of someone who loves you and has committed herself to you.  Even if you do use protection it's less effective for anal sex.
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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #354 on: May 31, 2006, 11:12:38 AM »
well deserved prob!!!!

I was simply expressing myself...


OK, so maybe I deserved it.
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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #355 on: May 31, 2006, 11:16:31 AM »
Agreed.  Just the fact that black males use the phrase 'no homo' when saying/doing something that isn't traditionally 'manly' is telling.  I read a story in a magazine about a women who husband married her in the 80s, but they rarely had sex.  She found out that he was gay and HIV positive.  He knew before they married, but didn't want to die alone!  And she stayed with him (and outlived him) after he threatened to tell everyone that she gave it to him if she left him.  People like that only breed suspicion between black men and women.  As if black women didn't have enough to think about when dating. 

********************************************************


id like to think thats rare...

Of course guys purposely giving women AIDS is rare.  But guys on the DL?  Not as rare as we'd like to think.  Guys on the DL having unprotected sex with men and their wives?  Not as rare as we'd like to think.  To me that's the worst part of it, that you're playing Russian roulette with the life of someone who loves you and has committed herself to you.  Even if you do use protection it's less effective for anal sex.
well deserved prob!!!!

I was simply expressing myself...


OK, so maybe I deserved it.

durn tootin you did!
Do you really believe in free speech, or just in speech you agree with?

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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #356 on: May 31, 2006, 11:31:21 AM »
better than most women. now don't you feel bad for rolling your eyes at me?  :D


Rolling my eyes? It's what I do! I've never regretted rolling my eyes...well, except for that time my dad whooped me for sassing him...

 ::)  :P
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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #357 on: May 31, 2006, 12:05:04 PM »
i agree that the dl stuff is just creating more homophobia and heterosexism. its making it valid for people to continue to identify disease with the gay community...

yeah if you had gonorhea (sp?) thats probably a dealbreaker.
i don't care if you're sterile, i want to adopt anyway, but if you don't want kids at all, that would definitely be a deal breaker.

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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #358 on: May 31, 2006, 12:32:31 PM »
ok, what if it was one of those incurrable std's?

would THAT be a deal breaker?

im thinking yes...

Incurable STD is a definite dealbreaker.  I am not trying to deal with something for the rest of my life, and as CN mentioned, condoms are not foolproof.

On a related note, I was watching a Law & Order episode last nite about black men on the dl.   There were a group of black men (some married with kids) who had a weekly poker nite and one of them would take the bedroom each week.  They don't bring protection because that would be admitting their intent.  As one of the guys said "I'm not gay, I have relationships with women and sex with men". One of the black guys had sex with a fellow DA (he was white) who fell in love with him and wanted him to leave his wife and kids.  The black DA kills the other DA to prevent exposure.  Turns out they both have AIDS and the black guy has passed it to his wife. Has anyone seen this episode? Any thoughts?

Yes- it was a good episode.  They aired it when the DL lifestyle came out in the media with the book.

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Re: Relationship Dealbreakers
« Reply #359 on: May 31, 2006, 12:36:18 PM »
SINCE IT Seems to be somewhat common, what would you do if you founf out your man was leading this double life?


and isnt it odd how i dont think the guys would be too upset if the ladies were seeing a girl on the side?
Do you really believe in free speech, or just in speech you agree with?