Law School Discussion

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Poll

Symbol of your love or Big Waste of $$$

Girl - Symbol of your love
 55 (31.1%)
Girl - Big Waste of $$$
 34 (19.2%)
Guy - Symbol of your love
 41 (23.2%)
Guy - Big Waste of $$$
 47 (26.6%)

Total Members Voted: 163

Author Topic: Engagment Rings  (Read 18340 times)

sillyberry

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #240 on: May 25, 2007, 06:47:29 PM »
I must have missed this part the first time. 

If it is just a plain solitaire, she should just get something that goes with it when they get married that is more her taste.  Okay, that is a major fact.  She should compromise by saying that she gets to pick out the matching band, whatever, if, it really is just a solitaire.

Unless its a marquis.  People have mixed feelings about that one.  But princess, round, emerald . . . as long as they are good stones she should not be complaining.

Or a pear...
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It sounds so reasonable when you say it.

smujd2007

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #241 on: May 25, 2007, 06:48:16 PM »
I got engaged and married in law school . . . but I guess I am not the husband, though!  And he's not in law school either . . .lol.

But we did pay for our own wedding.  We both work. I wouldn't go as far as to say don't get married in law school. . .  I know several people who have. Its more of a matter of when (summer or winter break!! :))  and the value of the relationship with the SO.


Man, law students are cheapasses :(

It's not my fault that 2 months' salary = $0 once I start school!

You're not supposed to get married in school. Unless the madame has a rich father about to pass away, then it might be a good idea.

Not married, but what about engaged? Then get married after school?
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ě

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #242 on: May 25, 2007, 06:51:06 PM »
I got engaged and married in law school . . . but I guess I am not the husband, though!  And he's not in law school either . . .lol.

But we did pay for our own wedding.  We both work. I wouldn't go as far as to say don't get married in law school. . .  I know several people who have. Its more of a matter of when (summer or winter break!! :))  and the value of the relationship with the SO.

Certainly, everyone should find their own way, but I do believe that marriage and the establishment of a home, family etc (for those who haven't done that before getting married) is easier if at least one of you is out of school and working, preferably both. I didn't mean to make it sound like "if you get married in school, you're doomed". Just that practical things might be easier dealt with on a later stage. And as long as the emotional bond is there between the two, waiting shouldn't be a strain on the relationship. At least, that's how I feel :)

smujd2007

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #243 on: May 25, 2007, 06:55:55 PM »
Are you in law school?  Sorry, I'm not sure.

The support of a spouse could be very beneficial in law school. That whole starting a family (as in having children) probably does need to be postponed.  But marriage does not equal instant children.

Depending on circumstances, waiting can be a strain on the relationship.  If both people are ready to take that step it can work. And can even be beneficial.  Waiting isn't always the best thing.

I got engaged and married in law school . . . but I guess I am not the husband, though!  And he's not in law school either . . .lol.

But we did pay for our own wedding.  We both work. I wouldn't go as far as to say don't get married in law school. . .  I know several people who have. Its more of a matter of when (summer or winter break!! :))  and the value of the relationship with the SO.

Certainly, everyone should find their own way, but I do believe that marriage and the establishment of a home, family etc (for those who haven't done that before getting married) is easier if at least one of you is out of school and working, preferably both. I didn't mean to make it sound like "if you get married in school, you're doomed". Just that practical things might be easier dealt with on a later stage. And as long as the emotional bond is there between the two, waiting shouldn't be a strain on the relationship. At least, that's how I feel :)
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ě

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #244 on: May 25, 2007, 07:03:01 PM »
No, I'm not - however, I don't really see that law school would be different from other comparable situations. I don't see how being married makes a difference in the support you get from your SO to be honest. If he loves you, he will give you the same support no matter what your official status is, at least I would imagine any decent man would. Maybe I just don't get the mind set you marriage-people are in, since I'm not really all that concerned with the idea of getting married to begin with.

civil blu 1922

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #245 on: May 25, 2007, 11:32:34 PM »
No, I'm not - however, I don't really see that law school would be different from other comparable situations. I don't see how being married makes a difference in the support you get from your SO to be honest. If he loves you, he will give you the same support no matter what your official status is, at least I would imagine any decent man would. Maybe I just don't get the mind set you marriage-people are in, since I'm not really all that concerned with the idea of getting married to begin with.

Second that...

smujd2007

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #246 on: May 26, 2007, 03:24:16 PM »
Maybe you aren't . . . its one of those things you don't know about until you do it.

SO does not equal spouse.

When you start building and making decisions as if you are going to be together for the rest of your days, things totally change. This starts a little bit with SO, engagement, but it is on a totally different level with marriage. 

I guess you'll just see when you get there  . . .if that's something you will cherish and value at any point. . .

No, I'm not - however, I don't really see that law school would be different from other comparable situations. I don't see how being married makes a difference in the support you get from your SO to be honest. If he loves you, he will give you the same support no matter what your official status is, at least I would imagine any decent man would. Maybe I just don't get the mind set you marriage-people are in, since I'm not really all that concerned with the idea of getting married to begin with.
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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #247 on: May 26, 2007, 03:35:17 PM »
Sorry, I disagree. The strength of a commitment does not relate to whether you're going to get married or not. Divorce statistics proves me right on this.

dcollins

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #248 on: May 26, 2007, 04:51:35 PM »
Sorry, I disagree. The strength of a commitment does not relate to whether you're going to get married or not. Divorce statistics proves me right on this.

Enthusiastically agree. i've been with my SO four over 4 years.  He in med school while i worked, and now me in law school while he in residency.  We have learned (through trial and error) the realities in a seriously committed relationship - as a couple and as motivated, intelligent individuals.  One thing we've learned throughout this process is that for us - for people who both have real, professional and personal - goals, is that you cannot predict what the other will do or be faced with in regards to their career.  Future plans as a couple takes immense planning and coordination/some may say sacrifice.  Getting married at the get-go without realistic understanding of futures 1, 5, or 10 years down the road will not end well...

I have many family members who married while one was in school and the other working...seemingly with the idea that marriage would bridge the gap in their seperate lives.  Now, with children and seperate careers/lifestyles, they are divorced.  Unfortunately, with children.  Where is the benefit in that?

Size of ring, or at what point you are in your relationship with your SO, does not ameliorate the decisions yet to be made unless serious consideration towards both professional interests are identified and worked through.  This is hard.
"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."
"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off."
- Gloria Steinem

Texas2L

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Re: Engagment Rings
« Reply #249 on: May 26, 2007, 05:27:11 PM »
All the divorce statistics mean is that there's a bunch of people getting married who shouldn't.  It also shows that today's society places alot more importance on career and independence than family.

In my mind, getting married means you make sacrifices of yourself, your choices, and your time to make the relationship work.  If you've chosen well the other person will too; and whatever the future brings, you'll face it together as a team.  That doesn't mean.. hey I want to do X, but if I do it I won't be able to stay with my SO.. oh well, guess it wasn't meant to be, BYE!

Too many people do not take marriage as an actual commitment, they take it as a convenience or something they were supposed to do.  Thats why the divorce statistics are what they are.  If you're not ready to make that sacrifice, of course you shouldn't get married - do yourself a favor! :)