Ask a Homosexual

[dbgirl]

Nice!

The sad part is even though I can now actually afford enough Heineken to get me smashed, I still prefer and search out PBR on draft.

I’m white trash, what can I say. I can’t cook, I can’t decorate, I’m a registered republican, I despise Madonna, I dance like I’m having an epileptic seizer, I’ve never watched a whole episode of American Idol, I don’t even know what station it comes on, getting dressed up means finding the stuff in the dryer with the least wrinkles, a gourmet meal to me is wood fired pizza and wine from a box in the fridge. My interests are sports, hunting, fishing and cold beer in large quantities. I’m just a big lesbian trapped inside a gay man’s body.

 

regarding age, i wouldn't say i'm that ageist, but i do try to stick within a reasonable age frame because it seems to ensure that i have more in common with a guy.  however, i get very disturbed by the number of guys in their 40s+ who go after guys in their 20s.  now, i realize this happens in the crazy hetero world too at times, but this seems to be FAR more prominent in the gay world from what i've seen. clearly, it's not just young gay guys demonizing the older ones.  it's also older guys fetishizing the youth.

Umm, it happens a LOT in the "crazy hetero world." 

[Hybrid Vigor]

I’m white trash, what can I say. I can’t cook, I can’t decorate, I’m a registered republican, I despise Madonna, I dance like I’m having an epileptic seizer, I’ve never watched a whole episode of American Idol, I don’t even know what station it comes on, getting dressed up means finding the stuff in the dryer with the least wrinkles, a gourmet meal to me is wood fired pizza and wine from a box in the fridge. My interests are sports, hunting, fishing and cold beer in large quantities.

All right, but one personal pet peeve of mine: knowing how to cook is not gay.

I've never understood people who say, "I can't cook." It doesn't make a lot of sense to me that, as humans, we have to eat three times a day (more or less), and yet people never learn how to cook food. WTF? Take a class !

Yea, and I don't get what people mean when they say they cant cook. Does this mean you can't follow a recipe? Being able to cook doesn't necc mean being able to whip up Thanksgiving dinner with no help like Grandma does it, it just means knowing something about food and being able to build and acquire knowledge. Cooking is a skill, just like anything else it gets better with practice.

[trogdor]

Umm, it happens a LOT in the "crazy hetero world." 

i'm not saying it doesn't happen, however i would be willing to bet that the rate is much higher among homosexuals.  there are a lot of single gay guys in their 40s+ who came to self-realization much later than most people do now due to different life circumstances.  straight people don't have to deal with this, and the incidence of single males in their 40s is far less.  look at statistics ("about 90 percent of baby-boomer men and women either have married or will marry").  marriage claims most of them far earlier than 40.  i can (and do) go into nearly any given straight bar in dc and see that the crowd is overwhelmingly young.  going into gay bars, the discrepancy is far less. 

oh, and "crazy hetero world" is a joke.  i'm not hatin, just inverting the historical association of homosexuals with crazy.   

[dbgirl]

Umm, it happens a LOT in the "crazy hetero world." 

i'm not saying it doesn't happen, however i would be willing to bet that the rate is much higher among homosexuals.  there are a lot of single gay guys in their 40s+ who came to self-realization much later than most people do now due to different life circumstances.  straight people don't have to deal with this, and the incidence of single males in their 40s is far less.  look at statistics ("about 90 percent of baby-boomer men and women either have married or will marry").  marriage claims most of them far earlier than 40.  i can (and do) go into nearly any given straight bar in dc and see that the crowd is overwhelmingly young.  going into gay bars, the discrepancy is far less. 

oh, and "crazy hetero world" is a joke.  i'm not hatin, just inverting the historical association of homosexuals with crazy.   

Trust me, there are plenty of single 40-something men hitting on young women. Just because they have married doesn't mean that they are still married. Plus, marriage doesn't seem to keep men from hitting on women. Not all straight bars are young. Clubs, perhaps, but not bars.

[dbgirl]

Not all straight bars are young. Clubs, perhaps, but not bars.

Yeah and I would second that for gay bars/clubs. Neighborhood bars tend to be a mix of old and young, but hot happening clubs tend to be mostly, if not all, young, particularly the ones that are open past older guys' bedtimes.

I never really liked clubs even when I was in my early 20s. I hate dance music. Perhaps that's why I ended up at the bars where all the older pervs were.

[dbgirl]

however, i get very disturbed by the number of guys in their 40s+ who go after guys in their 20s.  now, i realize this happens in the crazy hetero world too at times, but this seems to be FAR more prominent in the gay world from what i've seen.  clearly, it's not just young gay guys demonizing the older ones.  it's also older guys fetishizing the youth.

I've seen both sides and you have a point. There are some (I would not say they are the majority) older guys who mercilessly hit on guys in their 20's. And they are gross, especially the ones who will not take no for an answer. (Usually, these people would be far more insecure hitting on someone their own age, but they get more aggressive with younger people.)

Unfortunately, those are the older guys who get remembered. But if you look around a bar next time you go, most of the 40+ people in there are not trying to prey on younger guys, they are talking to each other.

There are also a large number of younger males who seek out older and finically secure gay males. If you see a very good looking 21 y.o. gay kid driving a Porsche, the odds are good he is paying for it, but not with his $.

Hmmm ... I once had a very goodlooking friend who did "landscaping" and house sitting for an older gay man.  My friend wore tight jeans and liked anal sex.  My friend was straight ... or was he?

[->Soon]

Not all straight bars are young. Clubs, perhaps, but not bars.

Yeah and I would second that for gay bars/clubs. Neighborhood bars tend to be a mix of old and young, but hot happening clubs tend to be mostly, if not all, young, particularly the ones that are open past older guys' bedtimes.

I never really liked clubs even when I was in my early 20s. I hate dance music. Perhaps that's why I ended up at the bars where all the older pervs were.

even LINE dance music???

[Miss P]

Well I can microwave very well. But other than that, what I cook does not tase as good as I think it looks like it should in the cookbook.

I do know what you mean, but for me Cook's Illustrated cookbooks solve this problem.  Everything is full of butter or baconfat or salt, but it all tastes as good as it looks.

Amen.  The baking books (like Chris Kimball's Dessert Bible) are excellent as well.  Just prepare yourself for a touch of sanctimony with your instructions.

[HK]

I have observed the older man/younger guy phenomenon quite a bit in Asia. Many times younger Asians go for older caucasians simply because they only like caucasians but are limited in choice. I think some others actually just prefer a mature guy. Some guys who are in their early 20s would prefer dating someone in their 30s/early 40s because they assume that people that age are more ready to commit to a long term relationship.

[HK]

It might also have to do with poverty. I've had a singaporean friend tell me bluntly that white men are the richest men in the world and that's why he likes them. It's no secret that older men have less options and thus can't afford to be as discriminating, and have had more time to build wealth. So older white man = likely to be rich but without very high standards = easier to land.

I think it's a strange thing coming from a Singaporean of all people since in comparison to the United States singapore is much safer, and lacks homelessness. However, the white people who come to Singapore and Hong Kong(the places I have lived) to work are usually making expat dollars. I don't think money is a sufficient explanation because especially in Singapore and in Hong Kong as well I have seen couples where the younger Asian guy comes from a very rich family. I think it's likely that each case has it's own explanation.

I guess another plausible one is that for some people age simply is not a factor. I also think in terms of friendship, age is less of a factor in the gay community than in the straight one. I wouldn't date someone above 30...but my best friend here is 44.