Ask a Homosexual

[redemption]

That kind of explicit behavior at pride parages gets people accustomed to the fact of gay sexuality. It's the step beyond people being accustmed to gay people. Is it jarring? Sure. It's a good thing, though, in the long run.

[trogdor]

I am curious to read the book, but I am not spending money on someone who works to get Cheney-Bush elected. How can a self-respecting (and she does appear to be self-respecting) lesbian do that?

I'm really curious what the lesbians are saying about Mary Cheney. I think we need an Ask a Lesbian thread...

you know, i was just reading an article about the book last night.  i was thinking the exact same thing that i wanted to read it, but i also refuse to pay money to support a person who was invisible while conservative election politics regarding gay marriage went on, whose father's boss is one of the most ardent supporters of a constitutional amendment, and the party her father represents, in general, has done everything in its power to restrict gay rights.  just from reading a short review, it sounds like she spends 2 chapters just ripping on sen. kerry and edwards, proclaiming them to be evil.  apparently she was very mad that they called her out as a lesbian.  as if the "l word" is some epithat. 

[incognito]

I am curious to read the book, but I am not spending money on someone who works to get Cheney-Bush elected. How can a self-respecting (and she does appear to be self-respecting) lesbian do that?

I'm really curious what the lesbians are saying about Mary Cheney. I think we need an Ask a Lesbian thread...

you know, i was just reading an article about the book last night.  i was thinking the exact same thing that i wanted to read it, but i also refuse to pay money to support a person who was invisible while conservative election politics regarding gay marriage went on, whose father's boss is one of the most ardent supporders of a constitutional amendment, and the party her father represents, in general, has done everything in its power to restrict gay rights.  just from reading a short review, it sounds like she spends 2 chapters just ripping on sen. kerry and edwards, proclaiming them to be evil.  apparently she was very mad that they called her out as a lesbian.  as if the "l word" is some epithat. 

I can't believe I'm defending her, but I don't know if we should blame the child for the sins (hahaha) of the parent.  She did work for them but she and her father steadfastly opposed anti-gay marriage amendments and supported leaving the decision up to the states.  Even bush stated his opposition to using gay people as a wedge issue (in the secret tapes made where he admitted to past drug use), and his wife just came out this week against it as well.  I know that I do not agree with my parents on everything but that i support them, and when push comes to shove I will give them the benefit of the doubt and support them.  And lest we forget, Kerry did not support gay marriage either.  In fact his position was the same as male private part Cheney/Mary Cheney.  I'm gay and our civil rights issues are important to me, but other issues are also important to me.  She made a different decision than most of us, but before we tar and feather her we should at least listen to what she has to say.  Heck if we blamed children for their parents' boss's faults, then no one would be without black marks on their record.

[trogdor]

I can't believe I'm defending her, but I don't know if we should blame the child for the sins (hahaha) of the parent.  She did work for them but she and her father steadfastly opposed anti-gay marriage amendments and supported leaving the decision up to the states.  Even bush stated his opposition to using gay people as a wedge issue (in the secret tapes made where he admitted to past drug use), and his wife just came out this week against it as well.  I know that I do not agree with my parents on everything but that i support them, and when push comes to shove I will give them the benefit of the doubt and support them.  And lest we forget, Kerry did not support gay marriage either.  In fact his position was the same as male private part Cheney/Mary Cheney.  I'm gay and our civil rights issues are important to me, but other issues are also important to me.  She made a different decision than most of us, but before we tar and feather her we should at least listen to what she has to say.  Heck if we blamed children for their parents' boss's faults, then no one would be without black marks on their record.

i didn't mean it to sound like i blamed her for her dad's actions or bush's, etc.  i certainly don't.  however, to remain silent during that whole time and not say anything to the contrary?  i have issues with that, regardless of whether it puts her parents in a difficult spot.  let's face it, it WAS a wedge issue in the last election.

[HK]

Trogdor, if you want to read it but don't want to pay for it, just wait until it ends up in the library...


I think it's laughable for the Bush administration to claim they aren't using gay rights as a wedge issue. It's no coincidence that the federal marriage amendment keeps coming up during election years...

[->Soon]

persoannly, i think the republicans will try and birng out an anti- gay marriage amendment at each state election til its thruout the whole country, just to motivate their base each election.

[H4CS]

I think Eli brings up a valid point, and yes, sometimes the gays at Pride (particularly the ones the media choose to put on the air, which tend to be the most outrageous) are embarrassing. But I have long ago come to terms with the fact that you can't control everyone in your particular minority group, nor are they going to all be positive examples. That's just life. If conservatives want to hold it against all gays that a few are dancing naked in public, there are just choosing to use a single example to validate their prejudices and they probably do that every day anyway.

This kind of attitude has always upset me.  There was a time when the gay rights movement fought against the idea of anyone controlling anyone else's sexuality, fought the idea that there was a normal way to express sexuality.  As the members of the movement aged, the cause became more about getting rights than about changing the public's view of sexuality.  As a tactical move, I can support it, but there is no reason to sacrifice one on the alter of the other.  It's time to stop being embarassed and start embracing anyone who has the courage to express him/herself.  You still see this everywhere as activists fight being coopted by the mainstream gay rights movement, but there should be enough room under the umbrella for everyone.

[jiggedyjared]

I've got a couple of questions for you, too:

Do gay men/women have a hard time going to the public bathrooms in front of people they are interested in or significant others? 

What % of gay men do anal?  I've heard it's lower than most think, and does that... work for the recipient?

Certain words that also mean homosexual are used as insults towards straight men and even objects.  Are you or others offended when you hear others use "gay" or "fag" as an insult towards straight men?  Like:

"You failed the test?" 
"Yeah, I did."
"Aww, that's gay." 

[HK]

I think Eli brings up a valid point, and yes, sometimes the gays at Pride (particularly the ones the media choose to put on the air, which tend to be the most outrageous) are embarrassing. But I have long ago come to terms with the fact that you can't control everyone in your particular minority group, nor are they going to all be positive examples. That's just life. If conservatives want to hold it against all gays that a few are dancing naked in public, there are just choosing to use a single example to validate their prejudices and they probably do that every day anyway.

This kind of attitude has always upset me.  There was a time when the gay rights movement fought against the idea of anyone controlling anyone else's sexuality, fought the idea that there was a normal way to express sexuality.  As the members of the movement aged, the cause became more about getting rights than about changing the public's view of sexuality.  As a tactical move, I can support it, but there is no reason to sacrifice one on the alter of the other.  It's time to stop being embarassed and start embracing anyone who has the courage to express him/herself.  You still see this everywhere as activists fight being coopted by the mainstream gay rights movement, but there should be enough room under the umbrella for everyone.

There should be, but unfortunately it's sometimes easier to get some laws changed than to change everyone's attitudes.

[trogdor]

This kind of attitude has always upset me.  There was a time when the gay rights movement fought against the idea of anyone controlling anyone else's sexuality, fought the idea that there was a normal way to express sexuality.  As the members of the movement aged, the cause became more about getting rights than about changing the public's view of sexuality.  As a tactical move, I can support it, but there is no reason to sacrifice one on the alter of the other.  It's time to stop being embarassed and start embracing anyone who has the courage to express him/herself.  You still see this everywhere as activists fight being coopted by the mainstream gay rights movement, but there should be enough room under the umbrella for everyone.

i'm actually very torn about this.  on one hand, i see some of the pride events, and i'm absolutely horrified by some of the displays.  on the other hand, i understand the role of "subversive" identity politics in order to make a symbolic point.  overall, i think it's childish to think that to express yourself, you have to dance naked, etc.  cooptation is a point of view...  while obtaining particular rights is very important, it shouldn't be considered the end.  social change requires far more than legal tolerance.  the question is: is there a better way to express yourself while still making a powerful stand of resistance?