I hate the University of Pennsylvania - They stole my drunken stupor

[Which of the following is most like Penn?]

Which of the following is most like Penn?

Manure

New Haven

Getting Vomited On

Bluewarrior

J is a whore (or, for YC, a "sexworker")

[bass]

Tonight, I planned to get trashed.  I don't do this often.  I usually drive to bars, have a drink or 2 and chill.  But tonight, I planned to go to the bar I go to every Thursday and drink myself silly.  I wanted to celebrate my last time there.

Penn decided that tonight would be a good night to have the "Walnut Walk," when 5 billion penn students go to every bar in the world and sweat all over your beer.

I couldn't take it.  There were so many of them (how they keep their acceptance rate down, I'll never know).  I had to leave my bar.  That's right - MY bar.  I go there every Thursday.  These sweaty long island jews (95% of Penn's population) are never there, but tonight they came in matching t-shirts to ruin my druken stupor.

Instead of getting drunk, I got coffee at Cosi.  Here's to being sober when I shouldn't be able to type.

I hate penn.

[jorge]

Anti-semite! 

[bass]

Anti-semite! 

Damn semites!  If only I could do my own taxes!

[bass]

Since I am a solutions-oriented person, I will help you out.

Grab a shot glass, the most potent liquor you have access to (if you don't have any, call a friend and 'borrow' some), and do one shot every 5 minutes for the next hour.  You may also want to go grab an appropriate chaser before embarking on this journey. 

You will feel much better, trust me.

I took three shots of vodka before I left, and I had 3 while I was out (at cosi).  Stillhate penn.

[bass]

Since I am a solutions-oriented person, I will help you out.

Grab a shot glass, the most potent liquor you have access to (if you don't have any, call a friend and 'borrow' some), and do one shot every 5 minutes for the next hour.  You may also want to go grab an appropriate chaser before embarking on this journey. 

You will feel much better, trust me.

I took three shots of vodka before I left, and I had 3 while I was out (at cosi).  Stillhate penn.

You need to repeat this a few more times. 

You still sound too angry (read: sober)

I hear that.

[bass]

More penn bashing.

[Happy_Weasel]

well, penn is TTT to you anyway.

[Towlie]

Yeah that sucks. I'd be pissed too. Please find it in your heart to forgive my humble school and I will forgive yours for Legally Blonde.

[bass]

I do not forgive them, and I will never forget (read, hiring committee)

[jorge]

More penn bashing.

At the time, I wasn't sure if you were trying to encourage other people to Penn-bash, or if you were trying to do the thing by saying it. Speaking the Penn bashing into being.