How to say: "Write the damn rec yourself... Sir."

[Annie]

The managing partner of a firm I've worked for has offered to write me a recommendation letter, which needless to say, would be of great help.

However much he adores me (and is a family friend, always helps), he is a very, very busy man and I highly, highly doubt he will be writing this recommendation himself, but rather, having his secretary do so. I really don't know his secretary, she doesn't know me, so I doubt that the rec will be as stellar as it could be.

Is there a polite way to say, "Listen, I know you're going to make your secretary write my recommendation because you're super busy, but could you please do it yourself?" I figure that just the ASSUMPTION (though I doubt it's an incorrect one), much less mentioning it, is rude in and of itself.

[lexylit]

an attorney with whom i work is writing me a rec. i sat down monday night and drafted a letter to him, not about what i hoped he'd say, but about how much i've learned from him and from working here, etc. and then i polished it and i made sure it was damn good writing. my thought was, not only will he be flattered, he'll see that i put in the time and effort because this is important to me. short of saying what i wanted him to write, i mentioned some cases we've worked on and some totally unrelated discussions over lunches in the past months and some things we shared a laugh over. i figure this will stimulate some ideas, and he'll remember to write not only about my work but also my personality and interests. plus theres a guilt thing-- now that i've handed him the letter, lsac forms, resume, ps, list of schools, etc i think he'd feel terrible not doing it himself 

that might sound all kiss-assy to you but it's worth a try for your situation. good luck

[jacy85]

You know just the very assumption is rude.  So why even trying to ask him/confront him about it?  There's no possible way to say it without being incredibly rude, in my opinion.  And no matter how busy someone is, if they really want to help you, then they'll write the thing themselves as opposed to handing it off to their secretary.  If this is truly a concern, then I would ask someone else to write the rec.

The only possible thing you could do, is to call or write him and ask if he could include a detail about something you've done that he knows about, and try to make it out like it's something a school you're applying to would be really interested in based on their program or whatever.  This is still pretty presumptuous though, and he may take offense to any kind of directive on your part.

[jd4me]

Lexy, you're going to be a damn good lawyer. Subtle, very subtle.